Belonging Creative Writing Ideas (1 Viewer)

spazamataz

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I just finished writing two strories, ones about belonging in the world and how a kid gives a homeless guy money to do his part for the world, and then another is about belonging in another country, where two mates have gone to brazil, but one hates it and gets robbed, and the other one loves it. Can someone check these for me? I don't know if theyre right or not, theres no climax in the belonging in the world one.
Well overall what do you guys think would be a better story idea out of those two (eurgh its due tommorow)
 

Eddykungfu

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why not trying to use the plot of an orphan child? like start off with how perfect her life is with her family and parents etc and then at the end be like but i sit in this orphanage wishing it would be one day :S lol

or you could talk about bullying?
and hav a moral behind it about rascism or sumthin?
I was told orphan stories were really cliche
 

Dimplez

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Mine is kind of lame and totally generic and badly written and uncompleted. :haha: It's about a 2nd generation migrant who was born in Australia and still feels connections towards her homeland. She struggles to find a place where she really belongs because while she has grown up around her Australian friends and peers, her parents' ethnic background and cultural values have significantly influenced her.
 

biianxsh

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do you think you could talk about the way anorexia 'belongs' to a person, kind of idea?
 

ShowStopper

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My friend wanted other people's feedback on his creative so what do you think?

(this is just the beginning of the short story)

Some day soon
“Come on Jamal, its time to go”, Jamal quietly thought.
He waved goodbye to his friends and family as he walked on with hope and pride towards the airplane checkout, it wasn’t an easy thing leaving your family in India to go and do something as hard as Jamal aimed to pursue in a country such as England. Being in such a over populated country with almost little possibility of making it into professional football and coming from a family of 9 with harsh living conditions, Jamal aims to go to England and pursue his dream of becoming a professional footballer.
When Jamal landed on the grounds of London, England, Jamal felt he didn’t know his way around and all the people were extremely different to him physically, this made Jamal feel very isolated, as he continues to look around waiting for something to happen,
“BEEP BEEP, brother! Jamal its me Botran, get in the car! “, his brother approached the front of the airport surprising Jamal.
“Botron! I haven’t seen you for like two years man, how’s work over here going?”, Jamal questioned excitedly,
“Not the best brother, but enough to send over to our family every week. Hows the football Jamal, Mum told me you are going for it here in London?”, his brother asked,
“Going for what Botran? Oh yes, I just need to get into this team called Derby FC and win the grand final and I will have a great chance of successfully making it to the English Premier League and someday soon i will perhaps play for the best team in the world Manchester United”, Jamal said slowly but effectively.
“Don’t worry about anything brother, i’ll be with you all along to guide you in your endeavours here in England”, Botran said quietly as he rubbed Jamals head. This made Jamal feel very secure and safe being with his brother.
 

Aerath

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Somewhat reminds me of Bend it like Beckham. :p
 

ShowStopper

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ahha thats what i said, and bit like slumdog millionaire, but what you think so far, is it suitable?
 

clue444

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i really like the intro, it sets up the story pretty well
 

kaz1

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My friend wanted other people's feedback on his creative so what do you think?

(this is just the beginning of the short story)

Some day soon
“Come on Jamal, its time to go”, Jamal quietly thought.
He waved goodbye to his friends and family as he walked on with hope and pride towards the airplane checkout, it wasn’t an easy thing leaving your family in India to go and do something as hard as Jamal aimed to pursue in a country such as England. Being in such a over populated country with almost little possibility of making it into professional football and coming from a family of 9 with harsh living conditions, Jamal aims to go to England and pursue his dream of becoming a professional footballer.
When Jamal landed on the grounds of London, England, Jamal felt he didn’t know his way around and all the people were extremely different to him physically, this made Jamal feel very isolated, as he continues to look around waiting for something to happen,
“BEEP BEEP, brother! Jamal its me Botran, get in the car! “, his brother approached the front of the airport surprising Jamal.
“Botron! I haven’t seen you for like two years man, how’s work over here going?”, Jamal questioned excitedly,
“Not the best brother, but enough to send over to our family every week. Hows the football Jamal, Mum told me you are going for it here in London?”, his brother asked,
“Going for what Botran? Oh yes, I just need to get into this team called Derby FC and win the grand final and I will have a great chance of successfully making it to the English Premier League and someday soon i will perhaps play for the best team in the world Manchester United”, Jamal said slowly but effectively.
“Don’t worry about anything brother, i’ll be with you all along to guide you in your endeavours here in England”, Botran said quietly as he rubbed Jamals head. This made Jamal feel very secure and safe being with his brother.
I like it but teachers like stories that are a little bit of life or a story with a short time span. This seems like the story is going to drag on for at least a few days.

lol it is a bit like Slumdog Millionaire and Bend it Like Beckham and GOAL!
 

ShowStopper

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I like it but teachers like stories that are a little bit of life or a story with a short time span. This seems like the story is going to drag on for at least a few days.

lol it is a bit like Slumdog Millionaire and Bend it Like Beckham and GOAL!
ahha thanks for the suggestion,
but like he was thinking of doing something at the end to end it dramatically like..
a year later..
Jamal made it to the grand final.. and lost in penalties
he may not have made it this time
but he has made his family proud as he finally feels accepted.. any good?
 

istudy

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Guys whats a good structure for a creative writing? Like just keep it all in third person or something?
 
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Guys whats a good structure for a creative writing? Like just keep it all in third person or something?

Hmm, I've always thought first person, because you would be able to talk about the 'feelings' behind belonging.


I've been thinking of writing my narrative about a girl with Leukemia. Kinda sucks that the movie for My Sisters Keeper has been released recently cause mine sounds heaps like it.

I wanted to do it from first person, from the sick girl's view and how she believes she doesn't belong to the world, otherwise god wouldn't of made her sick or doctors would've discovered a cure for cancer.. And family wise she hates the thought of family because again she doesn't 'belong' to them or they don't belong to her cause she ain't going to love for much longer. And I'm going to make it in a way so that she kinda accepts all this and believes it all. I don't want a mushy "I really belong" happy ending either.. Not sure about the ending.

I won't be using the word belong continuously in my story, just for explanation purposes :p

Anyway, is it a good angle?
 
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Aerath

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Doesn't matter whether it's first or third person.
 

Pain

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I heard that a piece on immigrants, or the kid doesn't fit in at school, or the boy who joins a gang is highly original. Even appropriating movie plots and using the same fucking character name is considered high order thinking by the markers right?
 

gurmies

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i heard that a piece on immigrants, or the kid doesn't fit in at school, or the boy who joins a gang is highly original. Even appropriating movie plots and using the same fucking character name is considered high order thinking by the markers right?
+1
 

_skinnedalive

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There is virtually NOTHING we can do that won't be seen as cliche.
It's so frustrating.
I liked the baby idea, it was really good... I think it would be difficult to do but if you came up with it, I have faith that you will :)

Basically it's about quality of writing, that's what un-cliches things that are already pretty hackneyed.

Whatever you do, DO NOT write some 'fluff' as my extension two teacher says, about teen angst, depression, no-one likes me waaa waa waa.

The markers will hate you forever.

^ Wow, I'm a writer... :mad1:
 

jess39

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Have a few different story ideas. Odds are, one of them will fit the question. If not, you should be able to manipulate one of them.
 

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