Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (2 Viewers)

[vanush]

disgruntled chem teacher marking year 12 paper: "It's not even freaking ionic!"

 

[sando]

the vice principal opening the school mass


"on the weekend i got a phone call ... *pause* .. "


the pause was for about 30 seconds.. everyone was cracking up in laughter even the principal

 

[dion7789]

The principal informing the school that we needed to wear ties *speaking very distortidly into microphone* sounded like:

Next week marks the beginning of pie season.

My best friend became real excited thinking we were getting free pies until she realised her mistake.

 

[kloudsurfer]

Our P.E. faculty is gold.

Mr Russell on our Assembly following the holidays:

'Isnt it good that we are all back at school now that the cricket is over?'

Also mr Russell on assembly:
'Its getting hotter, so drink plenty of water OR YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Other PE teacher to girl holding a tub of vasaline for her lips:
'Isnt it a bit suss, bringing vasaline to school?'

 

[Forbidden.]

"sir, what's your favourite thing to do?"
"do u honestly want 2 know?"
"yes"
"have sex... i really like having sex"
hahah typical male


"mr choo, i want 2 b a dr!"
"not with those SAC scores"


"mr choo should i take rennaisance history or psychology next yr?"
"renaissance"
"why?"
"u fail renaissance. u get easy 50 in psych." (implying i was only good at science and not humanities... lol).


"mr choo, i'd never cheat, i'm a woman of integrity"
"u not woman, u little girl."


then there was mr clarke... who had a scottish accent and thus everything he said was awesome... regardless of what he actually said. few choice quotes were "oooh... ur a strange one then aren't you?"

I cans imagine teh scottish acent ...

 

[hopeles5ly]

I had a teacher that screams at the white board.

 

[Sweet Saz]

Maths teacher:

"Just tick whatever answer you got. It's too hard. I can't work it out."
(Note she made up the question)

"...It doesn't matter if you can't do it, it's only a few marks in the exam."

"I caught the bouquet!"

 

[yosemite sam]

My english teacher has a bizarre habit of talking like cartman from south park. just in the middle of a sentence she'll start talking like cartman, or muttering to herself about how we're ''breaking her balls''. and shes not young either...she's nearly retirement age.

 

[simonloo]

Maths teacher:

"Just tick whatever answer you got. It's too hard. I can't work it out."
(Note she made up the question)

"...It doesn't matter if you can't do it, it's only a few marks in the exam."

"I caught the bouquet!"

Oh dear.

 

[Ennaybur]

My english teacher has a bizarre habit of talking like cartman from south park. just in the middle of a sentence she'll start talking like cartman, or muttering to herself about how we're ''breaking her balls''. and shes not young either...she's nearly retirement age.

haha weird

 

[Ennaybur]

<3

 

[g_dob]

our motivational legal teacher:
"...and then you'll realise- life is just a big shit burger!"

 

[xclusv2bhung]

ahahha thats good.
our chem teacher`s the best.

Teacher : "Brittany!"
*girl looks up*
Teacher : "...Stop writing songs".

there was this one time, he chucked a piece of chalk out the window, when he aimed for the bin, and some lil kid outside yelled "ow!" [ we were on the top floor ]
LOLOL, oh that made my day.

 

[OneShotWill]

The best/Worse comments ive heard my teachers say:

MATHS - Teacher To a thick student: "We've already got 4 brick walls in this room, We dont need another." And his other famous one was: " If you had half a brain you'd be dangerous"

HAha he only shaved his face once a year.. it was brillant!.

 

[goosiegoo]

Ohh, we had this substitute teacher once who was really weird and had a freakishly high hairline. Anywho, we have those light switches that are actually.. twisty timer things, and it was broken and you could only turn on the lights by twisting it with a pair of pliers, so this teacher would always come into class with pliers and look round the room at all the guys, opening and closing the pliers and saying "hello boys..."

*shudder*


Edit:

I remembered more.. hehe.

My maths teacher was talking to this boy in class, and i heard him saying: "Travis, you could be top of maths.... *pause* if Grace [me] died."
Ooh... i yelled. Hehe.

Oh, and my art teacher is constantly telling my friend Todd that he's too emotional and he needs to toughen up and stop being a cry baby, and then tells my friend Rosemary that she should take some drugs because it would cure all her problems. Hehe.

My science teacher when we were learning about meiosis: "Now thomas, come over here... excuse the pun..."

Or my other science teacher: "Chris! Get your scrawny little carcass back in here!"

 

[bringbackshred]

Year 9 Science:
Teacher: Sam (me), what was the last thing you wrote in your book?
Me. A full stop.

Our deputy principal is a noted hard-arse, so it was quite funny when we all got to know him as a really nice guy on our year 10 snow trip. Third night in, we had a karaoke night. Every cabin had to sing a song and my cabin was very shy. So we decided to sing "Because I Got High" by Afroman. We invited our deputy up to sing it with us as well and he accepted the offer.

What followed was the funniest 5 minutes of the lives of everyone in the room. Our deputy had no idea what the song was or was about, so he sang along and sang very well. All of our cabin weren't singing, we were pissing ourselves laughing. By the end of it, he knew what he was singing about, but that still didn't take away from the humour of the situation. That story is pretty much legendary among our year, although a lot of people need to be reminded about it.


One day at assembly, the same deputy principal was going on one of his patented angry rants about various issues in the school. I don't exactly remember what he was talking about, but his voice broke at the height of his anger. The whole school, including teachers cracked up laughing. A lot of my year have never taken him seriously again, especially after the snow trip karaoke.

Some damn good memories, that's for sure.

 

[kloudsurfer]

My chem teacher after I asked him a difficult question:

'I dont know. Thats the kind of thing you learn at university.'

 

[zangetsu.xo]

modern history learning about weimar germany.

"yeah it's pronounced "veimar". germans can't say "w". and THAT'S why they lost the war!! because it wasn't "world war one" it was "vorld var vun"."

*hysterical laughter on both our and his behalf"

 

[Sparcod]

Heard this from someone....
The music teacher was polishing his trombone and was arguing with someone at the same time.

Teacher: Shut up and kiss my brass.

 

[rr.dun.dun]

Heard this from someone....
The music teacher was polishing his trombone and was arguing with someone at the same time.

Teacher: Shut up and kiss my brass.

hahahaaa. shame.

Biology teacher "Mendel performed the pea experiment one thousand times.. . .".. .

"(reads from the text book aloud) i dont get this. .". eventually the student had to explain it to her.

Legal Teacher , we think he is gay.
student asks "whats your opinion on lesbians". teacher " haha i have no opinion".

he couldve said it was wrong or its their choice or something but no opinion. okay then. wonder what that means. .

Maths Teacher, "how do you remove your make up?, your face is so clean. ."
hahaha what the hell. the next day she comes wearing eyeliner. weird.

English teacher told us that both mozart and beethoven were deaf.

most of these are just stupid things. but yeh. theres others but i cant explain them on here, you'd have to see it to find it funny.