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BOS Showcase: 2005 Major Works (2 Viewers)

black_man

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i apologise for not having read your RS gavrillo, but your research and stage vision in your work is really amazing, it really does have a brechtian sort of air about it. do you mention anything about brecht or artaud?
 

:kaz.n:

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last_chance said:
Abdominal cancer!

your short story screams Bollywood! I like Indian movies, I dont know if thats the feeling you were going for, but it was very dramatic and i got that impression... :)
Haha thank you :) Yes it was very Bollywood inspired on one level. But on a slightly deeper level I tried to make the exploration of Karmic retribution and reincarnation, thru a parrallel story, in differing contexts (Bricolage) entertaining and enjoyable to read.

Do you think it succeeds?

Feel free to comment anybody :)
 

Felixxx

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Gavrillo, what do you mean by ''Maimondian'' in your RS?

Are you referring to Maimonides?
 

black_man

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i would be very very interested to read Kami's work, i can imagine it would be wonderful
 

tez0r

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evan aka kami might not post it up, depends on him.
 

crazyhomo

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fine ambiguity said:
Now that c_james has covered the post-modern genre, hopefully I can post mine safely :p. I've only glanced through it, hopefully I'll be able to read everyone's after trials! I'm wasting too much time as it is haha.

There's a few random title pages and quotes missing because I never got around to putting everything in the one document. Criticism welcome! (Don't tell me about typos though, because that will freak me out: OMG THE MARKERS WILL GIVE ME ZERO BECAUSE I IS ILLITERATE *slits wrists*)
wow. i say that because i loved 'alice is'. it's probably my favourite out of the mw's i've read so far. but then i really thought 'making wonderland' was so bland and uninteresting. it got better near the end, but the first half was just filled with descriptions that did not capture my imagination at all. it just seemed like all your talent was poured into 'alice is' and you were too tired to finish the rest of the work :p
 

Meldrum

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Blackman said:
i apologise for not having read your RS gavrillo, but your research and stage vision in your work is really amazing, it really does have a brechtian sort of air about it. do you
mention anything about brecht or artaud?
Yeah. My work's actually an exploration of the History Play genre within the context of Epic Theatre. So, it has elements of cruelty, absurd, brecht, elizabethan. Staxxx.

Felixxx said:
Gavrillo, what do you mean by ''Maimondian'' in your RS?

Are you referring to Maimonides?
Yeah, I changed the spelling when I handed it in.

He was one of the 1000000's of philosophers in there.
 

fleepbasding

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Out of Order- Read your story. It's very funny, I was constantly chuckling. I didn't quite get some aspects of it, like I never really understood how it all connected to vampires but this didn't impede much on my enjoyment. I think tackling the 'pirate' genre was a great idea and you pulled it off very well. Liked the self-reflexive touches here and there. Again, the humour was subtle and well-handled.

Initially, I wasn't sure about your style, but by 1/4 way throughI was enjoying myself considerably. And laughing, especially at the brothel owner (some hilarious dialogue), and the bikini clad druidesses! Thanks for a fun read.

Can someone please provide some feedback on my MW? It can be found around post 69 or so. And please read it all. Thanks.
 

katesaurus

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i really enjoyed "alice is", the descriptions and all set up a somewhat genuine atmosphere.
"making wonderland" had me a little confused though.
i dont think my comment makes any sense but yeh. hahaha
 

kami

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black_man said:
i would be very very interested to read Kami's work, i can imagine it would be wonderful
I can assure you that my story is nowhere near wonderful - as tez has said below, I hesitate to post my work. The reasons behind this is that the work I have is only a crude draft and nowhere near the final product and considering such vitrolic responses as seen in the latter half of physician's thread "Farewell EE2" I am wary of having my work posted. However anyone who is actually interested in reading what I have, need only PM or IM me.
 

fine ambiguity

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crazyhomo said:
wow. i say that because i loved 'alice is'. it's probably my favourite out of the mw's i've read so far. but then i really thought 'making wonderland' was so bland and uninteresting. it got better near the end, but the first half was just filled with descriptions that did not capture my imagination at all. it just seemed like all your talent was poured into 'alice is' and you were too tired to finish the rest of the work :p
Thanks so much for your comment, I really appreciate it!

It's kinda funny, though, because I wrote 'making wonderland' first :p The thing I feel that's wrong with it is that at that point I was too caught up in the whole creating-meaning thing that what I wrote was painstaking and pretty damn hard to read. I expected to be able to sustain that storyline for the whole work, but when it was only ~3000 words, I had a spastic and wrote 'alice is' in one day. But I certainly like the first much more, but I feel 'making wonderland' explores the issues I was dealing with much better (which was why I switched around their order).

Anyway! Thank-you-very-much :)
 

crazyhomo

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fine ambiguity said:
Thanks so much for your comment, I really appreciate it!

It's kinda funny, though, because I wrote 'making wonderland' first :p The thing I feel that's wrong with it is that at that point I was too caught up in the whole creating-meaning thing that what I wrote was painstaking and pretty damn hard to read. I expected to be able to sustain that storyline for the whole work, but when it was only ~3000 words, I had a spastic and wrote 'alice is' in one day. But I certainly like the first much more, but I feel 'making wonderland' explores the issues I was dealing with much better (which was why I switched around their order).

Anyway! Thank-you-very-much :)
yeah, making wonderland did feel a bit like you were trying too hard. alice is was so much simpler, plus had a nice little mystery going on. wasn't exactly the most original, but i liked how it was linked in with some of the alice flashbacks
 

black_man

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he amazing expression and detail in 'Alice is...' was wonderful
 

gorgo31

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These have been phenomenal - such a pleasure to read. Thanks for posting guys, and mine is on its way as soon as I can figure out a way to get it under the limit without having to reformat the whole damn thing!

c_james: I loved it; your dissection of literary theory and original use of different text-types made it a highly enjoyable, sophisticatedly crafted work. Well done. With that said, I was ultimately concerned about the level of thematic depth in the work. Your reflection statement indicates that your work is a "critical reinvestigation of the literary paradigms’ roles and relevance in a contemporary context" - to me, in my terribly biased, old fashioned opinion, I would see a more suitable place for this in a critical response. I personally felt that your work, as a piece of creative writing, lacked a conceptual "soul", and that further developing the initial theme of breakdown of communication in a global world would have added significantly to the work's substance. But this avoidance of traditional "concepts" may well have been your intention? I apologise, my knowledge of literary theory isn't great and I'm not particularly familiar with pomo. Also, I found the RS a little too expressive and wordy at 1581 words, but it was a brilliant RS nonetheless. Overall, this really is something to be proud of. You are an exceptional writer; here's to 50/50!

fleepbasding: This was an interesting piece, obviously influenced by your experiences in Drama. I liked the representation of your "fourth wall" and a lot of your humour and satirical references made me laugh. However, the Australian character of Keane really spoke in extremities: you'd have him referring to a "soaring ceiling" and "architectural integrity" and then saying "aye" or "mate" or something typically Australian. I realise your intent is not naturalism, but these inconsistencies did bother me. Not being a Drama student, some of the Brecht references and parody of theatricality did go over my head, but I think a little too often you relied on caricatures for laughs as opposed to sophisticated, biting satire. It was good farce though, and a good read.

Gavrilo: I thoroughly enjoyed this work. It was well structured, crafted and theatrically interesting - but as a result of your postmodern exploration, and the lecture style of the piece, I believe you destroyed any conventional "dramatic" impact. This ultimately does not matter, because your work is so thematically sound with such a strong basis in politics. I was discerned by your reflection statement though, especially in regards to your arrogant dismissal of past EE2 students and your targetted audience: paradoxically, I thought your play would appeal not to bleeding-heart Socialists or academics, who are already savvy to the information you have provided, but instead the masses who put John Howard in his position of power. Overall, I think it was a particularly sophisticated and original piece, and I'm sure your final reflection statement would have supported it well.
 
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Sweets

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crazyhomo said:
this was, in a word, excellent. i was a bit skeptical at first regarding the topic. the whole 'american dream' thing made it seem like you were about to spend 5k words rehashing the english syllabus. but the entire work was extremely well written and thought-provoking. you went into a lot of depth in the analysis so it didn't feel like a cliched retelling. only negative point is that sometimes found it hard to follow what you were saying. though that's possibly more my fault than yours
Thanks. I really appreciate you reading it and giving feedback. Helps feed the writely ego within me. I know what you mean about the following thing, i think its cause when you write the work because your so used to it you know how it works out in the end, but to someone reading it for the first time...i think im improved upon it though on my final final draft which i cant find...

I feel soo cool. Almost 70 views...
 
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Sweets

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c_james- I enjoyed your work so much!! I feel so loserish (ha the extensive vocab of a EE2 student) in comparison. It was brilliant. The only criticism I would have would the length of the RS, it was just too long in my opinion for a RS, it was like you were labouring the point. I suppose you just wanted to really make sure the markers got ur point. It was very Charles Prestige-King-esque.
 

Arvin Sloane

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Sweets said:
c_james- I enjoyed your work so much!! I feel so loserish (ha the extensive vocab of a EE2 student) in comparison. It was brilliant. The only criticism I would have would the length of the RS, it was just too long in my opinion for a RS, it was like you were labouring the point. I suppose you just wanted to really make sure the markers got ur point. It was very Charles Prestige-King-esque.
What a shitty prentionous name, Charles Prestige-King is. Wankers, the Prestige-Kings are.

I now demand to be called Arvin Opulence-Luxury-Eminence-Illustriousness-Repute-Éclat-Emperor!
 

c_james

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Thanks for all the comments guys; I'll now return the favour :).

Sweets: Your analysis of the 'American Dream' was very sophisticated. I can clearly see, through my study of Citizen Kane in Module B, that you've expanded on the concepts of the Advanced English course instead of rehashing them, as crazyhomo identified. You dealt with popular culture TV shows such as 'The Sopranos', 'The OC' and 'Desperate Housewives' in a scholarly manner, as opposed to having made superficial links to the 'American Dream'. Though it did seem somewhat discursive at points, especially the analysis of 'The Sopranos' and 'Desperate Housewives' (I found the analysis of 'The OC' to be more succinct and snappy), you ultimately linked it back to the central thesis of the critical response well. Your examination of the darker underside of the 'American Dream', the proposal that it's often merely a contradictory, modernist "veneer", was especially insightful. A vast range of critical theorists, as well as your juxtaposition of modernist and postmodern approaches to the phenomenon, have ensured you were able to examine the concept on a much deeper level than had you simply dabbled in an analysis of techniques.
So the only criticism I really have would be its discursiveness at some points; otherwise, the critical response and reflection statement were structured well and added something to the sum total of human knowledge, something so many critical responses fail to do. Excellent job.

OutOfOrder: The pastiche of styles and the contradictorily laid-back yet serious nature of your story was very engaging. The witty footnotes, for example, were an excellent addition I thought, and kept the reader turning the page to discover the inanities and trivialities of the very vivid world you created.
My initial worry that some segments were arbitrary or waffly was quickly quelled by your reflection statement, which did a good job of justifying your more experimental techniques such as the ambiguously narrated, modernist streams of consciousness. The protagonist Olaf was a very refreshing character - in contrast to the typical hero figure, he adds an element of inherently imperfect humanity to your work, despite his incarnations as a vampire and, later, Death's assistant. On the subject of Death, I thought the familial conflict between him and his daughter was, in its context, humourous yet touching, adding another interesting layer to the central story. The humour undercutting the story's entirety offered a welcome break from the tension of the story, too.
I felt, however, that you weren't specific enough in regards to your intended audience in the reflection statement, and that some parts and lesser characters of the story itself could have been better developed. I sympathise, however, with the fact that you had to jam-pack a complex story into 8000 words. Overall, it was an entertaining read and provided great escapism.

Whew. I'll get to the rest soon...
 

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