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Breaking up - Much help needed :'( (1 Viewer)

Cykologi_gal

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I'm currently in a relationship where both of us don't have contact with eachother - his family, uni, etc etc - we can't even see eachother due to the bad timing of our uni times - we go to diff. unis.

He says he's crazy about me and he is - poems and emails, even though there's only talk. I'm accepting that his strict circumstances prevent him from maintaining a "normal" relationship with me - he can't even talk on the phone with girls! Let alone have a gf.

On the other hand - not so long ago, I posted a thread in which I was torn between him and another guy. To cut a long story short, I'm beginning love the 2nd guy - he has much more freedom and flexibility. We've also been friends for 5 years - thru which he's been secretly loving me. He would do little things - he went out and got batteries for me on my 18th gathering without anyone asking him to. I trust him, there's concretness in the (potential) relationship.

So technically, I've been two-timing for a little while - I'm seriously going to stop. I feel so guilt-ridden and it's unfair on both of them either.

Should I wait and give the first guy another chance? Should I wait for the summer and see if he actually acts upon his loving words? The truth is - this 2nd guy...well, I know he's not the right one either, I've listed many "fatal" reasons, yet I'm not feeling the love in this current relationship.

I've drawn myself away from MSN - 'cos that's how we communicate. I've had space...and well, how would you break up with someone? What do you say? I do care about him...I know I should do it in person, but what do you say? What if he gets angry? (I've mentioned break-up several times and have tried to tolerate it)...but it just seems like an empty relationship to me even though he wants to keep it going forever and ever.

When's a good time to stab someone?

*weep*
 
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PrincessAshee

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There's never a good time or a good way really...
In the end you have to do what's right for you and not worry about other people and what they'll think. I know that sounds terrible and selfish, I have a lot of trouble with it myself, but in the end you have to do what's gonna benefit you. It'd be worse if you stayed in the relationship and hated it.
 

AsyLum

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Just tell him straight up, that shit just isn't working, your commitments/family or uni/ are just taking too much time. It'll hurt but at least it won't scar.

Tell him you've met someone else, who is there for you and has the time. At least give him something to be sorry about.
 

KeypadSDM

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Cykologi_gal said:
he can't even talk on the phone with girls! Let alone having a gf.
The rest of the story was pretty lame, but this is the killer.

How can you date someone whose main influences in his life {parents/guardians} won't even let him talk on the phone? This is NOT a well rounded individual. Drop him like a tonne of bricks.
 

nwatts

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i'd have a lot of trouble keeping up with a relationship that means you never see your partner. a huge part of it is their company. for me at least.

plus, if you're starting to fall for another dude, alarm bells are ringing. i don't know any of you personally, but i'd try and tell your current partner that if things don't change then you'll leave. that would scare me into making sure that you spent time together, but he could be different.
 

crazyhomo

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i really hope the current bf has been accelerated at least 5 years, because dating a uni student who can't talk to girls on the phone is worse than dating a thirteen year old. at least the thirteen year old has a excuse for being so immature
 

Cykologi_gal

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Yeah - he's Asian, but not Chinese/Japanese, that sort of Asian...more the darker type...I can't disclose it in case I offend anybody...

...and well - his family frowns upon him when he gets a call from any girl.
 

crazyhomo

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Cykologi_gal said:
Yeah - he's Asian, but not Chinese/Japanese, that sort of Asian...more the darker type...I can't disclose it in case I offend anybody...

...and well - his family frowns upon him when he gets a call from any girl.
ahhhh....indian? and how does disclosing his race offend people?
 

Cykologi_gal

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crazyhomo said:
ahhhh....indian? and how does disclosing his race offend people?
Hermz yes - well...he once told me that other S.L. people would think that they're been discriminated against - that they're all distant and have strict families and that everyone would not like them etc etc...
 

mr_brightside

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nwatts said:
are you saying black people aren't allowed to be gay?!
am I? :confused:

.........if I am then yes. Black Homo Sexuals. Disgraceful :mad1:
 

AsyLum

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Cykologi_gal said:
Hermz yes - well...he once told me that other S.L. people would think that they're been discriminated against - that they're all distant and have strict families and that everyone would not like them etc etc...
He's probably already 'married' rofl
 

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