Brothers (1 Viewer)

[DeathB4Life]

if he just has a computer gaming addiction then id say theres nothing too much to worry about, but if hes being abusive and has to act like a retard to get his way then he deserves a kick up the bum.

id say the best thing to do is to secretly sabotage his computer.
nothing worse than waking up in the morning, turning on your computer with a days worth of gaming/chatting/time wasting planned out and then realising its not booting...
"fuck....now what...." *opens curtains to let in sunlight

assuming hes not too hardware savy, you could try taking out the CMOS (a little silver battery-like thing in the shape of a coin attached onto motherboard), and i doubt hell ever have a clue what to do next.

if he finds out that it was you, then it may not be safe to live in the house as it sounds like hes a walking timebomb, but if you succeed with it then his pretty much forced to go out and do something else with his time and maybe realise there are better things to do. plus it would give you and your parents a bit of bargaining power over him if he wants the money to get it fixed.

 

[goony]

Can't you just send him to a boarding school or something? :>

 

[z600]

Can't you just send him to a boarding school or something? :>

Game freaks and rude idiots like him gets bashed

 

[Forbidden.]

Use Bribes then threats.

 

[brows]

I used to be a hard core gamer and i forced myself to uninstall it at the start of year 11 b/c i knew it would distract me from my first 3/4 subject. It was hard but well worth it as i gave myself no option but to do work in times where i would have been lazy and just played the game "for a couple of mins" which always turns into endless hours. Now im in year 12 and i dont even have to worry about the game i dont even think about it unless someone mentions they played it. Eventually you will accept the fact that it is a distraction as u mature and realise that there are better things to do with ur time. Hopefully ur brother will do the same. Come to his senses and uninstall it - its hard at first but you soon forget about it. I know i did.

 

[Serius]

I used to be a hard core gamer and i forced myself to uninstall it at the start of year 11 b/c i knew it would distract me from my first 3/4 subject. It was hard but well worth it as i gave myself no option but to do work in times where i would have been lazy and just played the game "for a couple of mins" which always turns into endless hours. Now im in year 12 and i dont even have to worry about the game i dont even think about it unless someone mentions they played it. Eventually you will accept the fact that it is a distraction as u mature and realise that there are better things to do with ur time. Hopefully ur brother will do the same. Come to his senses and uninstall it - its hard at first but you soon forget about it. I know i did.

A few of my friends did this, I didnt, but i did take a massive massive break of a couple of months from all my regular games and spent that time doing every HSC exam from 2000 upwards with my tutors, and then i memorised the answers....then i downloaded some dot point summaries of the syllabus from BoS and memorised them... then i wrote some essays and memorised my best ones...

then i just did a heap of questions from the textbook. i guess when a true gamer has something important he has to take care of, then he does it.

 

[stazi]

Maybe he's a stoner?

 

[hopeles5ly]

Hi everyone!
This is my first post, but I have been lurking around for awhile.I wanted to ask for your opinions because some of you seem really good with giving my advice. I don't know if this is the right place to put it, but I didnt know where else to put it.

This is my problem. My brother is 17, but he acts more like 2, he is driving me crazy. He is doing year 12 but he is pretty much failing because all he does is play computer games. I think he is addicted to computer games. During the holidays, he stays in bed til 2 or 3, then gets up, and goes straight to his computer, where he might stay until 2-3am, bar having a shower. When school is back on, he stays up that late playing his computer as well, and then sometimes goes to school, or sometimes cant be arsed and just stays in bed all day anyway. he is really mean and rude, he is constantly swearing at me and the slightest thing will trigger him off- for example, one of his friends just rang, when i went to give him the phone, he snatched it off me, shoved me, and called me a friggen retard. that is his general disposition. my parents dont do anything about it anymore, sometimes my dad takes the computer from him but that usually lasts only about a day. i dont think my parents really know what to do with him, they are constantly on his back but he doesent give a shit. my mum rang the school a while ago and was seeing the school counsellor, but he refused to go, and all of the things the counsellor told my mum to do didnt work (personally it was all pretty lame anyway). he is totally unbearable to live with, besides that, i'm worried because next year he will be out of school, and quite frankly, he will go on to be a total complete loser unless SOMETHING changes. I don;t really know what I can do to help him change, he doesen't give a rats arse about what either I or my parents say anyway. Does anyone have any suggestions?

You have to realise that you can't change a person, only they can change themselves. All you can do is provide him with the best advice and guidance, then whatever's out there, such as experiences and circumstances that he goes through, which you have no control over, will hopefully change him and lead him into the right direction. Just remember that his not a tree.

 

[The_highwayman]

Maybe he's a stoner?

i was thinking this.

I like the idea of confiscating his computer and giving him a project (ie: like a puppy...or restoring a car or something)

Charge him board. Each time he fails to meet the rent, sell a part of his computer. He will then learn to either get a job or detach himself sentimentally from the computer.

 

[zeltos]

take him to get help
he obviously cant render in his mind that he is at school to learn so he can make it in the workplace.
well maybe thats his way of dealing with stress, pushing his problems to the side and getting distracted by in this case computer games which takes his mind to a less reality problem.
yes take him to a counselor they'll sort him out right and get his mind focused
goodluck with it all

 

[ellen.louise]

I'll suggest all that to my mum. it would be good to make him see a counsellor or a pyschologist, when my mum tried to get him to see the school counsellor though they actually said because he is over 16 they cant make him go. But maybe a non school psychologist would be possible....that is, if my parents can physically actually make him get there.

I know Ive whined a lot in this thread but.. I am going to vent more,
my parents went away for a week over christmas, i didnt think his behaviour could possibly get worse, but he began doing shit like, for example, after id cleaned up after i had dinner, he would then go make his own dinner (often at 1 or 2 am), often waking me up, when i had to get up early for work, and leave the mess, for me to clean, when i woke up. when i confronted him about it, he told me i was a whore and continued doing it, except now he would 'hide' the dirty cooking utensils, so i wouldnt find it for few days, located under the bar and various other places/ I mean he is literally a child, in the body of a man. he sees no reason. he is SO frustrating and impossible to live with. and honestly, im not exagerating, if anything, he is worse than this!

thanks for your responses as well, i wasnt expecting so many so quickly.

and ellen.louise, he actually says he wants to join the air force. i doubt hed get in. i doubt the army would even take him!

what a rat. good luck with him: sounds like you'll need it!

 

[ellen.louise]

Best non-electronic game out there. You play too? you play well?

BTW, lilygirl, suggest to him that if he wants to join the military, he should play this game, or chess even. Comp games are better for testing reactions rather than thinking.

I've played it a bit with my friend: I thought it was awesome. But no, not much, don't know if well. problem is: attempted to play on paper at swimming carnival: doesn't really work since you're meant to be able to remove pieces from the board, then have empty spaces.
Love games that make you super-charge your brain!

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

i like the idea of sabotaging the computer. it doesnt seem like reasoning and talking about it are going to get you anywhere; give him back what he dishes out, make him see that treating people like shit and intimidating them gets you nowhere.

you might not even have to sabotage the computer...if he's as stupid as he sounds you could just unplug it and watch him go slowly insane, hehe

 

[Sooj]

Beat him. (Parents help?)

But in the end after he wastes most his life he's going to realize what a bum he's been.

Siblings shouldn't treat you like that.

 

[Optophobia]

Hi everyone!
This is my first post, but I have been lurking around for awhile.I wanted to ask for your opinions because some of you seem really good with giving my advice. I don't know if this is the right place to put it, but I didnt know where else to put it.

This is my problem. My brother is 17, but he acts more like 2, he is driving me crazy. He is doing year 12 but he is pretty much failing because all he does is play computer games. I think he is addicted to computer games. During the holidays, he stays in bed til 2 or 3, then gets up, and goes straight to his computer, where he might stay until 2-3am, bar having a shower. When school is back on, he stays up that late playing his computer as well, and then sometimes goes to school, or sometimes cant be arsed and just stays in bed all day anyway. he is really mean and rude, he is constantly swearing at me and the slightest thing will trigger him off- for example, one of his friends just rang, when i went to give him the phone, he snatched it off me, shoved me, and called me a friggen retard. that is his general disposition. my parents dont do anything about it anymore, sometimes my dad takes the computer from him but that usually lasts only about a day. i dont think my parents really know what to do with him, they are constantly on his back but he doesent give a shit. my mum rang the school a while ago and was seeing the school counsellor, but he refused to go, and all of the things the counsellor told my mum to do didnt work (personally it was all pretty lame anyway). he is totally unbearable to live with, besides that, i'm worried because next year he will be out of school, and quite frankly, he will go on to be a total complete loser unless SOMETHING changes. I don;t really know what I can do to help him change, he doesen't give a rats arse about what either I or my parents say anyway. Does anyone have any suggestions?

The motivation clearly isn't there. You and your family obviously have a standard (like most of society) which you perceive him to be 'going beneath'. He obviously cannot see the consequences of his way of thinking/acting, or simply doesn't care.

This is where you and your family need to come in. You need to ask him what he wants to do when he finishes school. If it's something you don't need to do well in the HSC for, then don't worry about him. It sounds like he's doing badly at the moment. You need to make him realise that this will have consequences that no sane person would want to have.

Make him think about where he is going. It looks like he is going on the wrong path, perhaps because he doesn't know what else to do. He might think school is too hard.

You also need to make him realise the value of the 'internet fantasy land' that he is living in. I might be bad at staying on the net for ages at times.. especially during the holidays, but during semester or when i was at school i never stayed on past 12:00.

He needs boundaries. Also, don't get off his arse about it.

I would personally walk in when he's in the middle of a game and press the reset button on the comp, but don't you do it.

Bring out the whip if he refuses to change. If he simply wants to go on to become a plumber or something, tell him to quit year 12 and go and start now. Tell him to not waste his time.

 

[Optophobia]

It's really weird, but he used to have a job, and he was fine with it. he gets along perfectly well with people who aren;t in our family, is even nice to them.
At times I am worried for my own safety- he is a lot stronger than me, and he does get violent sometimes. One time we were having an argument and he yanked my arm so hard I thought it was going to break. its a little more extreme than the rpoblems most people have with their siblings/
my parents just make things worse, they contradict eachother with how they deal with him and he knows exactly how to play his cards to get his own way in the end. Once they took his computer off him for a week, and for the whole week he sat on the couch in his boxers and stared into midair. ALL DAY. whenever my mum tried to talk to him he ignored her or shrugged and said he wouldnt be happy til he got it back.
I know there is more to life than the HSC, but at the moment I can't imagine him DOING anything, he doesent seem to care about anything. I hope your right about him outgrowing it.
And thanks for your responses guys

If this isn't exaggeration then he has a problem.. Not an addiction as such, but a problem.

His pleasure/pain drive is misaligned. To be so connected and dedicated to an object (the internet) he needs to be *getting* something out of it. If it was boring or painful he wouldn't develop the obsession.

If he's angry with your family and no body else, then this means that he feels you are preventing him from accessing the object of pleasure (much like how drunks hate cops because we pour their booze down the drain )

I don't know how you can overcome it, but i think you need to make him see your point of view.