Bullies take sticks and stones from playground to internet (1 Viewer)

[loquasagacious]

As far as the interent being anonymous or not anonymous I would like to make a point regarding 'offline' contact between members. I think it is important to differentiate in the direction of the contact eg it a different game if members are known to each other offline and then online to if they meet online and then become known to each other offline through say meat-ups, common universities etc.

In the case of bullying following someone from their offline life to their online one I think this is quite bad as it creates an overall situation of bullying in every situation that a person socialises in which could have clear negative ramifications on the individual under attack.

Similarily it would also be way out of line to take the e-harrassment of someone offline and start stalking them. However if members participate online in fake bullying bonding behaviour then there is no reason for this to desist if they meet offline.

My point however is that when the direction of contact is online and then offline the individual being bullied has made a decision to frequent NS, continue to frequent it despite being bullied and then made a decision to attend a meat up in full knowledge they may well be bullied.

Also whilst I agree with the idea that our e-personas are intrinsically linked to our 'real' ones and that attacks on either affect the other as they both stem from our base personalities and self-image. Having said this though we must recognise that the internet is not bound by the same social norms as the real world.

Because of the anonymity, the larger numbers involved and also our difficulty in determining emotions of others without their body language and facial expression to draw on creates an environment where we say things that we may not otherwise say. However far from this being a devisive factor I believe it to be a uniting one - we are all bound by these restrictions of the medium and so all act accordingly. Our e-friends are made under these paradigms not those of the offline world.

Basically my point is that on the internet for completely reasonable reasons we act in ways that differ from real life, I think we all understand this or if we dont that we should. We have to accept that we may be attacked however also that this doesnt matter.

Also I think we need to look at what we define as bullying eg the debates of NCAP could be considered to verge on a kind of elitist bullying at times when some young nutters post complete crap and are then shot down by older members - including mods.

And I agree with stas the existing measures are enough, if someone feels they are being bullied they can report the post, directly contact a mod or even post in the swanky contact the mods forum.

 

[stazi]

I doubt that the 'online to offline' bullying problem you mentioned is a big deal, due to the anonymity of BOS. If someone doesn't wish their presence known, they will register an ambiguous username and make no reference to their school (like most members on here do).

 

[loquasagacious]

The only form of bullying that may be unavoidable is if someone decides to make a webpage dedicated to making fun of you. Would some sort of legal remedy be available? I'm not sure since this is cyberspace.

Well you could simply choose not to go to the webpage or you could sue them (creator and hoster) for defammation (assuming the site was in fact untrue).

As far as the jumb (or am I thinking of marmooks - hell are they the same?) business goes, it did seem he reaped what he sowed....

And I would suppose we could even view that thread as having been an example of online justice - he was held accountable for his actions both online and offline which were frankly out of line.

There was oppurtunity for him to respond to the accusations, which makes it infact fairer than the typical rumours one may be subject to offline.

And ultimately he was judged by his peers in the court of public opinion.

The whole notion seems quite fair; accuser and accused can make their cases, there is right of reply and the possibility of questioning evidence and then judgement is delivered by your peers forming effectively a large jury. (infact to take the Athenian model the larger number of jurors makes it fairer).

 

[BronwynKate]

I wouldn't respect their views.

I would still respect the person.

 

[stazi]

I don't think we need to respect each and every individual: disagreement and disrespect isn't necesserily a form of bullying.
I don't see what's so respectful about wiping out blacks and gays? I truly have no respect for people who believe in this, as they're insecure idiots who have been brainwashed.

 

[yy]

i don't think trying to stop bullying in any form would work, it will only drive it underground

 

[stazi]

i don't think trying to stop bullying in any form would work, it will only drive it underground

Well, say someone is harassing a fellow member via the medium of PM. That member contacts the moderators of this forum who step in and issue the offender a warning that they must follow or face getting banned. I think that the offender is then likely to abstain from further abuse, as they would not like to get banned.

 

[davin]

how does one bully underground?

 

[HotShot]

Well, say someone is harassing a fellow member via the medium of PM. That member contacts the moderators of this forum who step in and issue the offender a warning that they must follow or face getting banned. I think that the offender is then likely to abstain from further abuse, as they would not like to get banned.

ha ha ha you wish, if it was that easy.

bullies arent so bad, they teach us:

-life isnt always pleasant
-to stand for our rights
-to cope with our problems
-to help solve other problems
-form stronger unity and develop stronger bonds with friends
-finally not all bullies are bullies, but just kids enjoyin their life.

 

[stazi]

why isn't it that easy? Sure some members may come back from second accounts, but they will somewhat be discouraged from bullying the same member.

 

[HotShot]

this isn't an acceptable justification

its not justification, some bullies turn out fucken brillaint nerds, other well...

 

[yy]

why isn't it that easy? Sure some members may come back from second accounts, but they will somewhat be discouraged from bullying the same member.

they can create as many accounts as they like, and you can only take action after they've done something on that account.

 

[HotShot]

why isn't it that easy? Sure some members may come back from second accounts, but they will somewhat be discouraged from bullying the same member.

bullying the same member gets borin, they will pick on someoneelse (unless that member responds).

there are other ways....

 

[loquasagacious]

We need some of wafs passive rights theory now on bullying.

 

[HotShot]

i dont have a problem with calls like 'i hate you youre a dickhead' and that kinda stuff

only time i can think of the line being crossed really is when poeple have a photo of someone and everyone just absolutely rips into them




having said that the general trend is it seems to happen to the people that post more/post more controversially whether they're joking around or serious, but theyre voluntarily exposing themselves to that sort of situation and i think that shouldn't be forgotten eihter

yes... so what?
so ur saying that members shouldnt post controversial ideas because they might be bullied. is bullying so bad? why cant you bully them in return its not hard, especially on the forums...

essentially through ignorance a lot of things can solved. ignoring whingers nad bullys etc to ignoring 'normal' ppl.

bullyinh happens cop it, learn from it, adapt to it, and finally master it! bceome one youself for sometime, retire, become a mentor retire, a councillor etc. you will realise its a load of crap.

 

[Comrade nathan]

What I have noticed occasionally that some users on other forums will hound people (i rarely post out of NCAP, but i assume it happens here) . This involves when 2 people have a personality/politics clash. Then one person uses all their effort to constantly reply to the other persons post with a arguement. The person usually will change their position on things just to make an arguement.

This is a bit different to other type of bullying, i can't see someone getting emotional ove it. However it can be very annoying, and hinders real debate. Where obvious it should be stoped.

 

[xeuyrawp]

no dickhead

Great way to start a post, matty. Really. It adds such an authoritative feel to it. Where is there no dickhead, by the way? I can see a fair few...

I totally agree with Fu Manchu - if we wrap people in cotton and jump around their toes because we know they'll get offended every two minutes, the majority ends up suffering.

I think it's more important to encourage strength in people rather than to yell and cry everytime someone's picked on. This business of telling the teacher when someone picks on you is such horse shit. What do these kids do when they grow up into the real world? 'Judge, the counsel defending is intimidating me, is making me feel insecure...'

Even so, this is the internet, not the school yard - if you can't defend yourself, tough shit. Not only that, you're probably being picked on because you play the victim so well, allow yourself to be trampled on, and if you decide to defend yourself, you just look like an ass.

This is only in NS, like I said above.

 

[ur_inner_child]

It's not that bad reporting to a moderator. We may have cool mod sticks and orange coloured names, but we're people too, and reporting it is strictly anonymous. Far more so than anonymous, considering most mods browse and delete abusive posts at their own accord.

Once, I've actually had to delete a substantial amount of posts attacking a New Member about the topic of the thread, which was a mediocre topic anyway. She felt the need to delete the thread, rather than contacting a moderator, which is concerning. Even after I deleted all the abuse, she still felt shitty and deleted the anyway. This sort of stuff needs to be addressed. I'll address it now.

Don't be a jackass to the new members thanx.

But other than that, what I have noticed lately is that the "conflicts" are more personal issues with each other, rather than actual bullying. Most of these personal issues are beyond bos, just dragged into the forums.

Actual bullying that occur in the forums are mere name calling, which isnt that bad. If you find an abusive post, do not hesitate to report it, as you will remain anonymous, and may usually have room to argue why it is abusive if the moderator disagrees.

I also notice that bullying occurs where the victim seems to dig themselves into it -where they open their own doors to insults (such as revealing too much about themselves whether it be an unfortunate photo or a story).

Otherwise, the other sort is what comrade-nathan suggested, with it being related to political views etc. Particularly to those religious types. Although, that being said, most non-religious people do not appreciate being patronised.

Other than that, it's some, but not much.

 

[BronwynKate]

Thank you inner child.

I wish all moderators were as moderate and as sane as you.

(Not that they aren't mostly, but there are moderators who have power trips or else their own issues. I don't feel comfortable dealing with these people).

I agree that discretion is the better part of valour for both sides.

 

[Casmira]

Yes I do agree that in some cases bullying can go too far. Some members may not feel that welcome to come back on the forum (Harlequin, Casmira, Politik). However, it seems like they became the token 'bullyable" people and didn't seem too affected by the 'bullying'.

Whilst it is noble to try and prevent bullying, I think that it does occur naturally in every possible context. If you prevent bullying over a few members, then bullying will occur over someone else.

That said, I am happy with the reduction of person-specific long-term bullying, especially if the user feels that the bullying has been taken too far and their enjoyment of BOS has been compromised.

We also have to remember that not everyone is like 'us'. There will always be individuals who are actually affected by what happens on the forum. There will be people using them with all sorts of ailments ranging from depression to schizophrenia.

The solution is quite obvious, I think. There should be a publicised thread/policy that encourages users who feel they are being bullied to seek out a mod in the contact mod forum. The service should be confidential. A mod can then warn the user in question, i.e. "After monitoring your behaviour...you are bullying... please stop....or Laz will revoke his sexytime from you".

you joking? its an internet forum for christ sake, id have to shoot myself if i took any of it too heart. all i know is the the ones 'bullying' are losers anyways