Ethical dilemma regarding fathers right to abortion (1 Viewer)

[ElGronko]

So a guy knocks up a girl.

The guy wants the girl to get an abortion, the girl decides that she won't get one and has the baby.

Should the father still have to pay child support?

Is if fair for the father to say "I want you to have an abortion as I don't want the responsibility of looking after a child, and if you have the baby I am not paying any child support".

 

[ur_inner_child]

Personally, I don't think I could really raise a child on my own, let alone force someone to raise it with me, so I doubt I'll be so stubborn. When making my decision, I would value my partner's opinion on the matter.

But in principle, I know its an iffy issue. I admit the father sometimes is left on the side of things. I know a girl who got pregnant and had the child so she could always have her ex-boyfriend remain in her life and possibly get him to be with her again. It's the saddest thing ever when such disagreements occur.

In principle, I'm not really sure.

 

[Davriel]

Problem:

Guy wants to root girl, but does not think about protection and anything other than his lust. Girl gets pregnant, and the guy wants an abortion. The girl has the baby and the guy must pay child support. What happens now?

Solution?

By law both parties must contribute equally to the welfare of the child. So my advice is to think things through before you go ahead. If you have religious or ethical concerns about abortion and contraception, make sure you are happy paying child support. If you have no religious or ethical problems, then have protection. If the rubber breaks, too bad.

 

[Serius]

Problem:

Guy wants to root girl, but does not think about protection and anything other than his lust. Girl gets pregnant, and the guy wants an abortion. The girl has the baby and the guy must pay child support. What happens now?

Solution?

By law both parties must contribute equally to the welfare of the child. So my advice is to think things through before you go ahead. If you have religious or ethical concerns about abortion and contraception, make sure you are happy paying child support. If you have no religious or ethical problems, then have protection. If the rubber breaks, too bad.

I dont really think its fair, and i argued as such in the abortion thead.

Davriel, your post is illogical, sex is consentual, the responsability is upon both partners if not than even more on the girl to make sure there is protection. Denying the father some sort of say in abortion is unethical. We are not talking about the law here [ we are all aware of it] we are talking about ethics, we realise the law favours the mother in all aspects, what we are asking is if this is ethical.

A father not being given a say or the right to 'opt out' is unethical, but even worse is when the father wants the child and the mother aborts without him being given a say.

If ever i should be put in this position, i will refuse to tell her what she should do as a way to protest my lack of legal rights in this arena...one would hope that the girl iam with is aware of my opinion on abortions allready.

 

[Capitalist Scum]

He shouldn't have to if he signs a piece of paper that says he wants an abortion and will lose all rights and responsibilities as a father, because the woman has a similar option in abortion.

 

[Emma-Jayde]

A woman can't get pregnant by herself.
Sure. she might not want the baby either, but can't have an abortion due to religious or other reasons. It's up to both parties to think about contraception.

That being said though, I think either parent should be able to sign a piece of paper saying they want nothing to do with the child after it's born.

even worse is when the father wants the child and the mother aborts without him being given a say.

I disagree. The father doesn't have to carry the baby for 9 months and go though the pain of childbirth.

 

[Emma-Jayde]

I know that, but it should ultimately be her decision whether to keep the baby or not.
Yes, it takes two to tango, but a guy doesn't have to go through anything. Being pregnant affects lifestyle and career/study options.

 

[loquasagacious]

And paying child support for the next 18 years doesn't????

I believe a man should be able to 'opt out', however I would not go so far as to say that a man has a right to prevent an abortion.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

it's ultimately the decision of the girl whether or not to abort the child, because say what you will but the woman gets the harder deal with a pregnancy. The man doesnt have to deal with carrying and giving birth to the child. That said, though, ideally it should at least be discussed between both partners and the girl should value her partner's opinion even if she doesnt agree.

If the girl decides to have the baby, then regardless of whether the dad wanted an abortion or not, he should still pay child support because whether he wants the kid or not, he's got one now and well, you gotta face up to your responsibilities. The fact that you're not ready for a child or dont want it doesnt figure. You're in the mess together.

 

[Testpilot]

What about the child? Imagine growing up knowing that your father had decided to completely opt out of your life.

It would be similar to knowing that you're adopted (i.e. not knowing your real parents). People would deal with it.

 

[townie]

i dont feel a father should have to support a child IF they have taken all necescary steps to prevent the pregnancy, however, i think it is morally reprehensible for a father not to support their own child

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

i dont feel a father should have to support a child IF they have taken all necescary steps to prevent the pregnancy

why, though? just because a pregnancy is accidental or unplanned doesnt mean the father has any less responsibility for the baby if his partner becomes pregnant...no matter how many precautions are taken. shit happens, sometimes you just gotta deal with it i guess.

 

[Anonymou5]

As someone mentioned before, there is a huge financial burden associated with raising a child. So from a logical point of view, this more than enough justifies the 'opt out' of the father if they do not wish to raise the child. There's nothing wrong with looking at it this way as long as it does no harm to your future aspirations.

On the other hand from an emotionally driven view of this issue; take some responsibility dumbass. Although if you're dumb enough to get yourself into such an unwanted situation then it's probably best that you don't have any kids.

 

[Capitalist Scum]

why, though? just because a pregnancy is accidental or unplanned doesnt mean the father has any less responsibility for the baby if his partner becomes pregnant...no matter how many precautions are taken. shit happens, sometimes you just gotta deal with it i guess.

Why should the mother be able to absolve herself of all responsibility while the father cannot?

Sure. she might not want the baby either, but can't have an abortion due to religious or other reasons.

That's a choice.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

I've said this a few times in the other abortion threads. I don't think it's fair that fathers cannot waive their responsibility - However, in practice it is our best choice. If we allow fathers the right to waive their responsibility when it comes to children, then we either:

- Have to foot the bill, as society or
- Allow a lower standard of living for children and mothers.

As I feel the father has more responsibility than society, they must not be able to waive their responsibility.

 

[Capitalist Scum]

If the mother chooses not have an abortion, then has the child and can't afford it, the child should be adopted out.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Why should we have to foot the bill with an adoption system etc when clearly most of the fault rests with the father? I would argue:

- We'd rather the child stays with its mother.
- Society shouldn't have to pay for such an adoption system etc.
- The man has greater responsibility.

Therefore the best option is to continue to force men to pay up. Of course it is unfair that they cannot remove themselves from their responsibility in the same way as a woman can, but I'd argue it's even less fair to force society to pick up for your mistake.

Of course the argument could be made that if that's unfair, then it's also unfair to make society subsidise abortions. However to that I'd argue it's different as it's not there to finance a woman's legal choice to not have responsibility for a child, but to subsidise a medical proceedure.

I don't think for a second it's a simple question, but at the moment at least I'm not convinced that we'd be better off allowing men to absolve responsibility for their children.

 

[Davriel]

I dont really think its fair, and i argued as such in the abortion thead.

Davriel, your post is illogical, sex is consentual, the responsability is upon both partners if not than even more on the girl to make sure there is protection.

First of all, logic is the sign of a confined mind that does not see the clarity of madness. But back to the actual issue. Look, I think fathers should have a say in abortion, but I firmly believe the final choice is the mother's, it is her body. If the guy can not think ahead and see what the possible outcomes are then he should keep it in his pants.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

First of all, logic is the sign of a confined mind that does not see the clarity of madness.

Fail.

 

[Davriel]

What? Logic is a flawed system because of many elements, the first of which is the fact that the human brain does not work logically, it works intuitively. Logic only serves as a justifaction of intuition. However, I will admit that there are some people out there who use logic to find an answer, not to justify one.