Ex-students & teachers (2 Viewers)

[petermeetswendy]

Are there any rules/laws stating how ex-students and teachers should act towards one another?
Obviously if a student has signed out and graduated and what not, should add a teacher on Facebook if they want to.
I already add two teachers, one accepted but the other has not. The one that didn't, because of what happened in the past between us (long and complicated and I'm over that and she seemed she was as well this year) and contacted the school councilor and now I have a meeting with them about 'a rule that an ex-student & teacher should act'. Since when was there such a rule?

 

[madharris]

Are there any rules/laws stating how ex-students and teachers should act towards one another?
Obviously if a student has signed out and graduated and what not, should add a teacher on Facebook if they want to.
I already add two teachers, one accepted but the other has not. The one that didn't, because of what happened in the past between us (long and complicated and I'm over that and she seemed she was as well this year) and contacted the school councilor and now I have a meeting with them about 'a rule that an ex-student & teacher should act'. Since when was there such a rule?

There is not really any rule...
A lot of teachers actually added me which I found surprising.
About half of them when i saw them during exams were like "You don't have to call me sir or Mr X, call my by my first name".

 

[Aysce]

There is no such rule, I believe.

Teachers and ex-students are just regarded as friends/acquaintances after graduation. I think this "rule" that your councillor has suggested are only guidelines to ensure positive behaviour towards your teacher.

 

[ZombieApocalypse]

I was told they couldn't have contact with us until 3-4 years later because they could get in trouble.

 

[townie]

Don't know about rules, but afaik there's no laws against it.

Semi relevant: even after 8 years when I run into an old teacher they are still 'sir' or 'miss' to me.

 

[Selador]

Don't see why you are being asked to attend a counselling session. You are under no obligation to attend and I don't see what it would achieve. I wouldn't go.

Certainly nothing illegal here and if it is against the policy of the school then that is entirely a matter for the teacher. You are no longer a student and the school has nothing to do with you anymore.

If the teacher doesn't want to add you then so be it. The teacher should simply ignore the request. I don't see any reason why anything is required beyond that.

 

[Currybear]

There is definitely no such rule, my brothers friend has dinner with his math teacher (he was good at math)

 

[LoveHateSchool]

Depends on the teacher, some will be chill add you on facey and you'll call them by first name, some they will always be Sir/Miss and others you won't have much to do with.

Lol at the meeting, I can understand why a teacher may not add to someone (either person themselves, or stopping juniors attempting to add them etc.) but surely you are a graduated (or almost) adult and they could have sent you a message with this or just ignored lol. It probs would have been good to ask them in perosn if you could add them, but the meeting lol Surprised because the teacher and you are both female too.

 

[enoilgam]

Semi relevant: even after 8 years when I run into an old teacher they are still 'sir' or 'miss' to me.

For some reason, I still use this for uni lecturers/tutors.

 

[Rawf]

I personally have not added any teachers (why would I want to eww LOL), however, some of my friends have added a few and the teachers have accepted. I'm pretty sure there's no rule against it, it just sounds absurd to me.

 

[cem]

As a teacher I have been told on more than one occasion by my various principals, the union and the DET, that there should be no social contact at all with ex-pupils for at least 2 years after leaving school - time for the relationship to be really on a friendship basis rather than some lingering student-teacher relationship and the idea that the teacher may still be viewed in a position of power or influence. We have had this advice simply to protect us as teachers from unwanted accusations being made by ex-students. I personally refuse to have social contact with ex-students for quite some time - with the exception of a very public lunch e.g. if my current Year 12 students (not one but a couple) asked me to have lunch with them I would do so but would also tell my principal that I was doing it and where it was happening - covering my butt if you like.

 

[Blue Suede]

As a teacher I have been told on more than one occasion by my various principals, the union and the DET, that there should be no social contact at all with ex-pupils for at least 2 years after leaving school - time for the relationship to be really on a friendship basis rather than some lingering student-teacher relationship and the idea that the teacher may still be viewed in a position of power or influence. We have had this advice simply to protect us as teachers from unwanted accusations being made by ex-students. I personally refuse to have social contact with ex-students for quite some time - with the exception of a very public lunch e.g. if my current Year 12 students (not one but a couple) asked me to have lunch with them I would do so but would also tell my principal that I was doing it and where it was happening - covering my butt if you like.

This, absolutely. I still have contact with some of my old teachers, but only in group situations. At the end of the day, you need to respect that ex-teachers can be put in a vulnerable position if you make an accusation against them and there's some kind of evidence that you've maintained a close relationship after school.

OP, you mentioned that some 'long and complicated' stuff happened between yourself and the second teacher you added, so perhaps they don't think it's appropriate you maintain contact now that you've finished school, and want to clarify what kind of relationship is appropriate between a student and ex-teacher.

 

[alyssa21]

I believe that a lot of this comes down to the individual teacher, or possibly, the influence of a school. I have teachers who I have friended on Facebook, but the teacher I was closest to throughout High School (she was a real mentor/role model to me) is strictly against adding her students on Facebook. We are still in contact through email, and she's told me to pop in to school to visit/catch up with her, but that's the only mediums through which we will communicate. I think it's always important for us students to be aware that they are still teachers at the end of the day (even if we're technically no longer their students), and as such, any actions they make will be judged as part of this position they hold.

 

[nerdasdasd]

This, absolutely. I still have contact with some of my old teachers, but only in group situations. At the end of the day, you need to respect that ex-teachers can be put in a vulnerable position if you make an accusation against them and there's some kind of evidence that you've maintained a close relationship after school.

OP, you mentioned that some 'long and complicated' stuff happened between yourself and the second teacher you added, so perhaps they don't think it's appropriate you maintain contact now that you've finished school, and want to clarify what kind of relationship is appropriate between a student and ex-teacher.

+1, this would and will possibly risk the loss of the job for the teacher.

 

[LoveHateSchool]

Wow, hearing the experiences of others and the above teachers is very interesting. Pretty crazy where I know at some schools current teachers/students are fb friends (found that odd but yeah). 2 years is a long time.

I do say the "complicated" stuff may be the reason your second teacher wants to set strict guidelines on your contact.