Sex Tips for Orgasm Control
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Position
Being underneath makes orgasm control easier
During sex, if your partner is on top and you are underneath, orgasm control will be a little easier. When first putting moc techniques into practice, have sex with your partner on top. Later you can go on top when you have gained confidence. Why is control harder on top? The weight of your body presses down thru your penis, making sex more pleasurable but making orgasm control a little harder. So, get underneath when learning a new technique or if you are having trouble controlling orgasm. Being on top also means the rest of your body is in tension, holding urself up or moving around. More muscle tension increases pleasure but makes orgasm control slightly harder so...
Body Relaxation
Relax your legs and cheeks to help control orgasm
The pc is the main muscle to relax during sex, but tension in your thighs and bum cheeks will also have an effect. Tensing these muscles will increase pleasure but also bring orgasm that little bit quicker. Test this out yourself by masturbating with your bum and leg muscles tightened and your legs straight out. Then try masturbating with all those muscles relaxed. Relaxing will give you less pleasure but help you hold off orgasm. So, to help orgasm control, relax these muscles.
X-position
Lie diagonally across your partner to reduce pressure
When you are on top, you can reduce the pressure on your penis by lying across your partner so that your bodies make an X shape. Let your upper body rest down on the bed to your partner's side, and your knees rest on the opposite side. One of your legs should rest between your partner's legs, and the other on the outside. This reduces the weight acting down thru your penis and eases the tension in your body.
Sex without orgasm
Don't orgasm during sex
You may be used to having sex that always finishes with orgasm. To help your control of orgasm get out of this frame of thinking. Have orgasms during masturbation or outside of sex. This helps your body separate sex from orgasm. Then when you have sex, you and your body won't automatically expect an orgasm. Thinking about orgasm, thinking about how and when it will happen will actually bring it quicker. If you think orgasm, you will orgasm. Be content with knowing you'll have an orgasm later by masturbating or some way outside of sex. Then try to finish sexplay without having an orgasm. Do this on a number of occasions, especially when learning new techniques. Once you can separate sex from orgasm, control becomes easier. This is not to say you should never orgasm during sex - do whatever you want - simply that having sex without orgasm helps with learning orgasm control.
Wear a condom, even without orgasm
Always wear a condom during sex even if you plan on not having an orgasm. Bodily fluid can enter your penis thru your meatus (the hole at the top of your penis) as soon as intercourse begins, leaving you open to STDs. your partner is also at risk if a condom is not used because semen can leave the penis before orgasm or ejaculation, whether or not you plan on having an orgasm.
Empty bladder before sex
Before you have sex, go to the toilet and empty your bladder of urine to help control orgasm. your bladder is located right beside your prostate gland, which triggers ejaculation. If your bladder is full, it presses onto your prostate, making orgasm more likely and control harder.
Ujjayi Breathing
To add to slow breathing there is an ancient technique from yoga called ujjayi breathing. It's similar to nose breathing but slower and more calming.
Exercise 13: Ujjayi Breathing
Open your mouth and breathe out through it. While you do so, make a 'h' sound. you should feel the sound coming from the back of your mouth. Now close your mouth and breathe out through your nose but still make the same 'h' sound. The sound should still originate in your throat. Now make the same sound while inhaling.
Use this type of breathing during sex. By making the 'h' sound your glottis (base of the throat) partially closes over, narrowing the passage of air flow to your lungs - forcing slower, deeper breaths, helping you control orgasm by calming your nervous system.
Confidence
If you fear orgasm, you will orgasm. Fear will build panic; panic will bring orgasm. If you worry about losing control of orgasm, the worry will bring orgasm quicker. Tell yourself from this point forward you will never lose control because at the very last you always have the security of the stop at pregasm. Go into sex with confidence and belief. If you believe you can control orgasm, you will control orgasm. Using the other techniques and tips will give you confidence - once you have sex a few times without orgasm, knowing you can control it will give you the confidence to do it again.
Experiment
The techniques given in this chapter are not rules but suggestions to help you keep control of orgasm. If you don't like the idea of not orgasming, then just go ahead and orgasm. Experiment with your own ideas. If you find some other way of controlling orgasm, use it. And then tell us about it or offer the info to other people. Above all though be aware of what your partner wants - sex for a long time may not be desirable.
