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Friendships (1 Viewer)

lengy

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How are you with your friends? Few and close? Superficial and many? A bit of both? Are most friendships we have destined to fail or drift apart? There are a world of people out there. Are you one of those who try and maintain them all or do you make friends and dump them? Whatever your intentions how have your friendships been and how much do you value your current friends? Do you see yourself still as friends in a years time? A decade? Your entire life?
 

melimoo

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not good at making new friends nowadays
have like 2 really really close friends
a few other friends.
alot of acquaitances
i should make more of an effort but im happy with it all right now
 

ur_inner_child

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I think generally I have a few really close friends, one or two awesome ones from each social group.

Mainly from my highschool group, just us girls who may not see each other heaps but we are right there as close friends because its this unspoken understanding that we are. I don't know how to explain it. I may not speak to say, this girl Jessie for 3 weeks but if she has a birthday party or vice versa, we are the first to be invited.

A good many few have drifted away naturally because when I'd call they won't make the effort or I just can't make the effort, but I don't think its anything to cry about. Very natural really.

I think my highschool ones will stay my friends for years to come, considering its now what, a decade almost already? And when it comes to uni friends, well, one or two but other than that, I think the conservatorium of music breeds freaks and geeks and they're just not the type to call up on a weekend to go to the city with etc.

Its okay.

If I could list the closest I have now that know me in and out... maybe 7 or 8.
 

Spider786

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i was discussing this with my friends today seeing as how theres only about 1 week of school left and we will NEVER have to go back again.

I said that we'd probably fall apart after meeting new friends at uni, they reckon if we should be able to stay as a group if we regularly go out..., but thats gonna be kinda hard when the uni workload kicks in..
 

AlleyCat

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Most of my highschool friends have fallen by the wayside a little bit since I moved to Melbourne. I see them when I'm in Sydney, but only a few of them contact me regularly.

I have made friends at uni and also through my boyfriend and his band. It's strange, really, because I have completely changed since I moved, and whenever I see anyone from highschool, they seem to not have changed at all.

Does anyone else find the structure of uni difficult in terms of making close friends? I go out sometimes, but it always seems like I don't really know these people.
 

ur_inner_child

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AlleyCat said:
Does anyone else find the structure of uni difficult in terms of making close friends? I go out sometimes, but it always seems like I don't really know these people.
I get that.

I go to an outrageously small uni and I still get that.

I mean, they may have the same life ambitions, career ideals and interests as you but when it comes to the other stuff that makes a friendship awesome, its kinda hard yes.
 

monique66

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AlleyCat said:
Most of my highschool friends have fallen by the wayside a little bit since I moved to Melbourne. I see them when I'm in Sydney, but only a few of them contact me regularly.

I have made friends at uni and also through my boyfriend and his band. It's strange, really, because I have completely changed since I moved, and whenever I see anyone from highschool, they seem to not have changed at all.

Does anyone else find the structure of uni difficult in terms of making close friends? I go out sometimes, but it always seems like I don't really know these people.
At first when I started uni I thought 'how the hell am I going to make good friends?' but it all kinda fell into place when I realised everyone was in the same boat. I think uni has a more diverse range of people to make friends with, esp. if you join societies and clubs, etc.
 

ElGronko

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I have heaps of friends, and generally make friends really easily, but none are really deep or whatever.

Like, I have no really really close friends. I've had people I've been close friends with for like 7 years and more, but they are not like, uber close.

More pragmatic relationships really.

Essentially, I can see us drifting apart when we head off for careers (ie. most of my friends become lawyers and I go in search of a rich divorced woman).
 

vorahk

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go to your heart, think of the hard times youve shared with your friends and when they have been there for you. they re the ones you keep.
 

ElGronko

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Additionally, this is probably the same with all people at uni, especially first years, but it's weird when i see friends from school who aren't at uni as they are having a year off.

Most of them still only really hang out with the same old people from school, whereas I have such a massive group of new people I've met from uni.

I mean, they have no other real options, they only know the people in their small group from school, whereas through uni, I know so many more people, like, I could probably go out every night of the week with people if I wanted to, but these school people can only go out when they organise things with their 6 other friends.

Ownage.
 

Always

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I think I fall in the 'many superficial friendships' category. I'm generally quite a private person and I don't often let a lot of people into my personal life, so that may be why.

I have a few close friends but I doubt even they don't me well. My closest 'friend' is probably my boyfriend who knows me through and through, but we are not doing so well at the moment so I wonder how that one will pan out.

Whatever, who cares. :)
 

dodgyfilokid

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I dont have that many friends really...lots of acquaitances but few real mates simply coz i have a different mindset that people find hard to adjust to. Basically I have contact with my old primary school and some high school mates in the Philippines since I only came here 3yrs ago...to finish I can see myself bein in contact wit my mates since we're really close and we've vowed to keep in touch once we start new lives
 

Skeeta

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I had a great group of friends at high school who i was pretty close with, but that went all down the shitter when i was completely and utterly dogged for "better things". I am not going to waste my time on a bunch of girls who would leave me high and dry like that.

I completely cut ties with them for a long time - now i will say hello and be pleasant if i see them but i think there is a mutual understanding that i can never forgive them. I still keep in touch with a few of my good guy mates - they're more manageable and safer relationships to be in.

My best friend is my boyfriend. Has been for about 5 years.

My mates from uni are fab. Its really hard to keep up with them though as our course is uber-full on and we all live very far apart. We all have an understanding of how busy each other are, and dont expect to go out every weekend to the hottest pubs and clubs, because we all are after all - struggling uni students

Its strange but i've made more friends being with my boyfriend that in any other situations. I've made friends with his friends, and we've made new groups of friends together. Its pretty nice.

All of that being said, i think the only person that is a TRUE friend would be my bf.
 

vorahk

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yeah i live really far away.. eastern suburbs... and i go to manly selective... so yeah i tend to get left out a bit due to the distance differences and its real time consuming just to go to a friends place. >< this is probably the only barrier i have.
 

zizou10-5

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i odn't know if i have lots of friends, but i have lot off ppl that r nice to me n we hang n kick it, bit i don't care bout friendships ne more, fear is stronger than love. If u have a really close friend, one day they might turn their back on u when its crunch time.
Some ppl may be nice but inside they are jealous or hate u, friends come n go. Real friends are ppl who will back u up in a fight, not run when u r in danger etc. I ma a family man.
 

ObjectsInSpace

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I'd have to say few, and they're not all that close. I tend to associate more with the second years and above since I took a year off, but it's harder to get acceptance with them sometimes. Besides, the other Freshers are either immature or driven by Envy and/or Pride (me myself, I'm Wrath).
 

vorahk

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ooOO do i hear FMA reference?? hehe i love FMA, nice nice.

true there are lot of backstabbers, who can you trust nowadays??those who be there for you when you need them most i guess.
 

lala2

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Uni has really made me question my identity in terms of friends and friendship groups. Now I hated the whole clique atmosphere in high school, so I'm glad that uni is really laissez faire, and opens me up to a whole heap of other people. I've found oddly satisfying friends in people I never thought had it in them, e.g. friend from HSC tutoring doing Engo/Commerce has introduced me to two of her friends, and they're lovely girls too, and there's a whole bunch of international students in pharmacy whom I hang around, and if you get past the language barrier, it's really quite ok.

As for the question--I only have three real friends left from school, one of whom is in Year 12 atm, and the other two have moved on with their uni courses, but we still phone occassionally, something like 3 times so far this year. I'm mainly shifting around now--find someone interesting, and get to know them better, and this way I've managed to get half a table together for my workshop (the other half being through my friend's friend and his friends), and lots of alternatives to sit with if seating arrangements don't turn out well, or we get separated from one lecture to the next.
 

AsyLum

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Most of my high school friends are working full time and drinking/drugging themselves up whenever they aren't. Of those there are about 3-5 who I still maintain contact with, but for the most part it is uni friends, they're there and it makes sense to rely on those who you can access/see rather than those who you haven't had contact in almost 3 years.
 

Seryn

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I'm only just now getting the hang of this whole 'socialising' thing. I had a rather bad run with friendships in high school, e.g. backstabbing and the like and theres only about 3 guys i keep in contact with, only 1 regularly. I've made a helluva lot of acquantinces at uni but only 2 i would really call 'friends' as such. The whole introversion thing mixed with the mental scars of single sex schooling certainly don't result in a particularly sociable person :eek:
Though, Uni has definitley changed my views on friendship and begin to change my ways. Damn these personality crisis'.
 

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