Helping a gay friend (1 Viewer)

[MiuMiu]

Its really sad when parents just refuse to accept it.

I can understand initial shock, but they're you're kids for gods sake, who they prefer to sleep with shouldn't affect you love for them.

 

[poloktim]

to an extent, but there's guidelines it sets such as lack of tolerance for homosexuality, its like saying having tolerance for murders we don't its same concept for homosexuality with bible

There's a difference. Murder is explicitally forbidden in ten ten commandments. Rules that are held dear for all Christian religions, even those that allow members to lie to others.

like i said in the other thread i totally dont like it, and am for all against it and would do anything to support someone to change but in the end i wouldnt force my opinion or will onto anyone i believe that everyone in this worlds entitled to their own spiritual and in this case sexual opinion

This case? You're not entitled to an opinion so easily in this case. Not when trusted organisations such as the WHO and various medical and psychological associations have specified that there's no disease and repression is wrong.

i believe you can change, with plenty of therapy of course and talking to an adult you trust like perhaps your parents?

Talk to your parents? That's one of the dumbest things I've seen from you. You're suggesting this girl talks to a woman who she's already mentioned would hate her for it? Others have mentioned that people have been kicked out because they spoke to their parents.
Seeking help is a good idea, however. But for a different reason. Seek help to discover if you're really a a lesbian. A psychologist/psychiatrist can really help you clear your mind and find the answer. Then if the answer is yes, s/he can keep your confidence in tact and assist you in dealing with such a development.

but i mean you wouldnt do that so me preaching is pointless and will only get me flamed. so do whatever you like

Seeking help was a good idea. Your reasons were wrong, but the idea was good. Seeking help from parents was pretty foolish.

 

[Casmira]

well i go to my parents for anything, maybe we all resolve help from different places doesnt make it right or wrong
perhaps it is wrong in her case to see her parents cause they'd freak out and lock her room, but i wouldnt know that her common sense and instinct would tell her the right person to see

 

[azzie]

most people cant talk to their rents. theres few kids who are open and honest about stuff with their parents coz either the parents are really cool or the kid is really obediant.
for the rest of us, theres kids help line, life line, your mates or adults you trust.

on the subject of being able to change your sexual identity, thats like saying i can beat myself over the head with a stick and make myself think the world is flat and that people have blue skin but if you know deep down its not true it doesnt matter that you're drilling it into yourself every single day. you're still lying to yourself an consequently making yourself unhappy. theres no point to it.

 

[ihavenothing]

You should tell her that there is no stigma attached to being gay, its not exactly new, her mother is going to have to compromise her religious beliefs. Take her to Mardi Gras next Saturday and show her how she can have a good time and not feel so worried, at best she can like both but it really is none of her mothers business.

 

[chloe169]

i believe you can change, with plenty of therapy of course and talking to an adult you trust like perhaps your parents? but i mean you wouldnt do that so me preaching is pointless and will only get me flamed. so do whatever you like

casmira, if you went to heaps and heaps of therapy and spoke to everyone under the sun and tried really really hard to turn gay... do you think it would be possible?

thats what its like to be gay. you cant force gay ppl to suddenly like the opposite sex the same way that you cant force straight people to suddenly like the same sex.

no difference. just put yourself in their shoes for one second and actually think with your head/heart and not out of your old testament.

 

[withoutaface]

No, I think Casmira's absolutely right. You sinners need to be saved from the gay monster before he consumes you completely.

 

[Casmira]

i probably do have a very narrow minded view of it, and i have no idea what to retort with; im as sceptical as the bible, imo its full of a few holes i want answered like how can god a perfect beign have initially no understanding of humans then let jesus show him, shouldnt he be able too see it always? (sorry im not trying to derail just one of the many things that question me about the bible)

i suppose you guys are right: youre born with sexuality preference (or its something that can't be reversed at least)

 

[azzie]

ok casmira you're either drunk or you havent read the most well known parts of the bible. god created man with free will. man sinned and turned away from god. bad stuff comes from sin, not necessarily your own but because it exists in the world.
jesus came to show people the new way- because the jewish church was corrupt and dysfunctional. he came to show people the way that religion should be and the way god wanted people to live. to spread the new message of love and acceptance which the jewish church wasnt spreading at the time.

 

[nwatts]

ok casmira you're either drunk or you havent read the most well known parts of the bible. god created man with free will. man sinned and turned away from god. bad stuff comes from sin, not necessarily your own but because it exists in the world.
jesus came to show people the new way- because the jewish church was corrupt and dysfunctional. he came to show people the way that religion should be and the way god wanted people to live. to spread the new message of love and acceptance which the jewish church wasnt spreading at the time.

Yes. But Paul's letters are quite clear that the practice of homosexuality is wrong. The homosexual argument within the church will often come down to the reliability of Paul's letters - whether they're specific advice to the churches he wrote to, or whether they're the basis for morals which Christians should be bound by.

Christians should not hate homosexuals. That is indisputable. As az said, God gave people free will, and his people should hold the respect to let people excersise their God-given right. Whether or not they can agree with their behaviour is another matter.

Casmira: you really don't know what you're talking about.

 

[minushuman]

Send that rugmuncher to me, I have a lucrative video prospect for her... she likes asian girls right?

 

[ElendilPeredhil]

Yes. But Paul's letters are quite clear that the practice of homosexuality is wrong. The homosexual argument within the church will often come down to the reliability of Paul's letters - whether they're specific advice to the churches he wrote to, or whether they're the basis for morals which Christians should be bound by.

Christians should not hate homosexuals. That is indisputable. As az said, God gave people free will, and his people should hold the respect to let people excersise their God-given right. Whether or not they can agree with their behaviour is another matter.

Casmira: you really don't know what you're talking about.

Actually, for me, the argument is: Why are we listening to Paul? Anyone here done extension history? The source is biased. Maybe Paul was just a little bigot. Maybe Paul just got rejected for a younger man.
Jesus didn’t say it was wrong. God knows all, he’d know about the gay issue that was coming, so why didn’t Jesus just casually slip it into one of his sermons “Blessed are those who are not fudge packers”,

 

[dora_18]

woah, delayed response! the post previous to that one was >4months ago

 

[nwatts]

Actually, for me, the argument is: Why are we listening to Paul? Anyone here done extension history? The source is biased. Maybe Paul was just a little bigot. Maybe Paul just got rejected for a younger man.
Jesus didn’t say it was wrong. God knows all, he’d know about the gay issue that was coming, so why didn’t Jesus just casually slip it into one of his sermons “Blessed are those who are not fudge packers”,

That's not an argument.

A Christian will accept the Bible was essentially written by God, through man. Take that however you will, but it means that you can't discount a writing based on the writer. Whether or not these writings are applicable in certain circumstances: another case.

 

[ElendilPeredhil]

woah, delayed response! the post previous to that one was >4months ago

Lol. I didn't notice that.

 

[purplefruitloop]

My friend, lets call her Jane, recently told me she thought she might be a lesbian. She had liked other girls in school and hadnt even seen guys as attractive. shes had fantasies about girls but not about guys. Shes not about to come out cuz shes still very confused. Her mother is really religous and finds gays/lesbians wrong and bad. My friend doesnt want to hurt her mother and she also doesnt want "religous counselling" or watever. Shes sure her dad would accept her the wy she is and her brother too. But shes scared of what people might think of her. How can i help her. I havent been through this before so im not sure whats right or wrong. Any advice?

i know how she feels, i too come from a scrict religious family. i came out last year as a lesbian and i told mum.
she's was in denial and still is.
she seems to try and convert me into 'heterosexual land' when i know inside that i LOVE FEMALES!
many of me mates are fine with it.
she just has to be sure about her sexualty first and perhaps talk to someone who has had the same experience or is going through it.
theres a few resources online she may want to look up in terms of dealing with sexuality and coming out.

just tell her to hang on. indeed it is a hard process but i am sure she will pull through.

 

[dora_18]

My friends girlfriend comes from a very strict religious family..like prayer daily and church weekly with rosary beads and everything. She said that she will never tell her mum that shes gay becuase it would literally emotionally tear her apart.....and shes kick her out of home etc etc

I think its sad that she can never really come out to her family and admit the person that she is, and i also think that its awful when parents would rather adhere to religious beliefs than accept their children the way they are....and the whole "never admitting it" thing- i sometimes wonder how thats going to work down the track when in 10years she still hasnt had a bf or has no intention on having one..let alone getting married etc...

 

[ElendilPeredhil]

I see no need to 'come out' to my family- by which I mean I will never sit down with them and say, "Mum, Dad, I'm gay."
My parents are cynical atheists, my dad would tease the crap out of me and my mum would be a bit...'eww' but they'd get over it.
I guess they'll figure it out one day when i bring a girl home to meet them.

 

[Oddy Nocki]

Because everyone assume everyone else is straight.

NO.

Noone cares.


What people do with themselves is there own business the same way if I want to fuck a dead girl it's none of your's.

 

[ElendilPeredhil]

Exactly! It's not that big a deal to most poeple. Who cares who you want to sleep with!