Holding Back (1 Viewer)

[Stray]

Are any of you afraid of being in love because it gives the other person too much power over you? That being in love gives them the power to utterly destroy you?

 

[tlodg]

I don't think people these days have trouble falling in "love"

they're more afraid of rejection but that's not the same thing as being afraid of being in love

if u care about how much power the person could potentially exert on you, then is it really love?

 

[UnIqUe_PrInCeSs]

it's not called love when he/she has power over you

 

[tlodg]

UnIqUe..you being here...makes me feel warm again.

 

[UnIqUe_PrInCeSs]

UnIqUe..you being here...makes me feel warm again.

aw, so sweet latvia

 

[tlodg]

aw, so sweet latvia

hey you can come play my "Random Sentences Game" if you're really bored
but I don't think u r right now since you're pretty much lurking at this hour (not posting that much)

 

[jumb]

Are any of you afraid of being in love because it gives the other person too much power over you? That being in love gives them the power to utterly destroy you?

If you really were "in love" then that person wouldn't want to destroy you. This hypothetical is in reality an impossible case.

 

[Davisss]

if your worried about them "destroying you" then there must be a reason that you dont "trust" them in some way.... then in that case why would you want to "root" or "love" (or whatever you wanna call it) this person for if you have that sence of un-certanty?

 

[WWJD_2005]

If you really were "in love" then that person wouldn't want to destroy you. This hypothetical is in reality an impossible case.

So you can only be in love where it's mutual in your opinion? Anyway I think to get out of confusion we can just say the person is really probably sasking "are you afraid of having deep affections for a person?"

if your worried about them "destroying you" then there must be a reason that you dont "trust" them in some way.... then in that case why would you want to "root" or "love" (or whatever you wanna call it) this person for if you have that sence of un-certanty?

If you're trusting anyone so completely after a few weeks of knowing each other or even months of dating you are setting yourself up to be crushed. But sometimes it can't be avoided I guess:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

 

[Davisss]

If you're trusting anyone so completely after a few weeks of knowing each other or even months of dating you are setting yourself up to be crushed. But sometimes it can't be avoided I guess:

maybe thats why they call it a crush?

 

[jumb]

So you can only be in love where it's mutual in your opinion?

Spot on. If the other person doesn't love you it's a crush.

 

[WWJD_2005]

So you can only be in love where it's mutual in your opinion?

So then love is just a mutual crush?

 

[iamsickofyear12]

Are any of you afraid of being in love because it gives the other person too much power over you? That being in love gives them the power to utterly destroy you?

Yes

 

[jumb]

Nah, it turns into love when it's mutual.

Love > mutual crush

 

[em_516]

if it's mutual, then you don't get 'crushed'

 

[Serius]

I disagree, what about love from afar? unrequited love? love for a dead relative?[that sounded wrong but you know what i mean]

being in love is mutual love.

as for the original question

Are any of you afraid of being in love because it gives the other person too much power over you? That being in love gives them the power to utterly destroy you?

No not afraid, i just dont have any desire to love, atleast right now in this stage of my life. I am pretty open with alot of things, but then the core of who i am is defended pretty well. For a long time i didnt really beleive in love...i still dont really beleive in the whole romantic mystical special side of it, too me it just seems like some sort of crazy hormone release that looks like it lasts about 3 years then goes. I am trying to think of a time in the last few years when i had feelings or even just a crush on someone and iam coming up with nothing. Its not a lack of available people, if i wanted i could be in a relationship with one of several decent girls right now, but it wouldnt be fair because unless i learned to love them, and feelings about them grew then the best they would be getting would be feelings of fondness and friendship but no real relationship type of emotions and if they ever wanted to break it up i would just be like " yeah ok, if thats what you want to do" and not even give it a second thought or think about it later or anything.

 

[WWJD_2005]

For a long time i didnt really beleive in love...i still dont really beleive in the whole romantic mystical special side of it, too me it just seems like some sort of crazy hormone release that looks like it lasts about 3 years then goes.

That is what is 'mystical/special' about it imo. It's like saying "What's so special about an orgasm? It's just endorphins being released and rapidly firing muscle contractions" or "What's so special about that painting? It's essentially just lightwaves entering your brain and your brain making some sort of sense of it".

 

[jumb]

My stance on love is the same. The word doesnt even mean anything it gets used too much.

 

[WWJD_2005]

It's largely ineffable imo and I'd also say the boundaries between what we call love/lust/crush/romance etc are probably rather precarious and merely depend on context and a matter of degree.

 

[jumb]

It's largely ineffable imo and I'd also say the boundaries between what we call love/lust/crush/romance etc are probably rather precarious and merely depend on context and a matter of degree.

That's a fair statement.

It's a personal thing, I only want to tell a girl I love her if I do, or if I'm messing with her emotions to get in her pants.