how do you deal with breakups (1 Viewer)

[pikto]

i was going out with this girl for 10 months and in the last few weeks before she broke up with me i was having a few emotional problems, but she didnt even give me a reasonable chance to explain and she did it over the phone. now she wont even talk to me, i have asked her friends for advice but now she thinks i am 'stalking' them. some of them that i have been asking advice from i am good friends with also. the main thing that really gets me upset is that now i dont have someone to cuddle whenever i want, and i really loved her and she is just being so unreasonable and nasty, which is somthing that i am not used to from her.
so what should i do?, i am so lost - this has never happened before...

 

[Shuter]

Realise you made a mistake, you forgot 95% of girls are bitches.

Realise she's a bitch, hate her for it, get revenge (popular methods include: public humiliation, spreading harsh rumours, spiking her water, or similar), then forget about her and find someone better.

 

[Ziff]

Yeah I'm with Shuter here. Your big mistake was becoming too attached in a teenage relationship and expecting to rely in her when you actually have problems. Generally, unless she's first and foremost a friend, there is no way she'll want to listen to your problems. As the song goes, they just want to "have fun".

Your other mistake was not dumping her before she dumped you. It comes down to intuition, it's something you'll learn along the way.

Don't worry, it happens to the best of us because at some point in time we become naive and weak, just for a moment - that's when they pounce.

So the overarching lesson is to embrace cynicism. By the way, the message applies to both males and females, if they're not friends first and foremost then don't bother being deep - just go for gold - so to speak

 

[mathock]

just forget her, completely... once they fuck ya over, just erase them from your your thoughts, because it will eat ate you forever and a day...

keep the memories, the good times are great, but the bad times need to be forgotten ASAP...

theres also the possibility that once you have shown you can deal with it and do not depend on her, she might want you back... you might have frightened her off by placing too much pressure on her, unintentionally i know, but the pressure might have been there nonetheless

best of luck dude, wrong time to be having relationship problems

 

[Ziff]

just forget her, completely... once they fuck ya over, just erase them from your your thoughts, because it will eat ate you forever and a day...

keep the memories, the good times are great, but the bad times need to be forgotten ASAP...

theres also the possibility that once you have shown you can deal with it and do not depend on her, she might want you back... you might have frightened her off by placing too much pressure on her, unintentionally i know, but the pressure might have been there nonetheless

best of luck dude, wrong time to be having relationship problems

No, no. You don't want her back. That's playing the Ex card, something which is essentially a sign of desparation (at least immediately). An ex is fine after about 2-5 years though, then it's like "oh yeah, you're a bit different now but still hot, let's go at it hammer and tongs".

Teenage relationships can't handle pressure. Unless there's a strong foundation underneith. That of course creates problems of it's own, hence why it's best to have friends and then floozies

P.S. the only time I reccommend taking back an ex is if you want to completely burn your bridges. That is, take her back, do random sexual acts, then dump her - dump her hard.

 

[mathock]

No, no. You don't want her back.

haha i didnt say u want her back, but its a hell of a lot better feeling to know that the chick that dumped you likes you again... ur now the one in control... silly mind games...

i think ill take your advice, friends and floozies

 

[Emily.]

looks like widdle ziffys been burnt before! personal experience??

 

[Dominic]

When change is imposed on me I create more change, lots of it. Regardless of who broke it off, after a break-up I try to change a lot of things to move into the 'next chapter' - I guess I'm more comfortable amidst a state of constant change if I have to deal with change imposed on me.

So I move furniture, have a purge clean and toss out any junk I've accumulated in the last however long. Catch up with some friends or relatives I haven't seen in a while. Buy some new clothes, try a different brand of imported beer, change change change.... focus on forward movement and new things.

It's distracting / time consuming / time to think (in a productive sense) / and takes the focus off her and puts it back on you and where you are headed next in your life.

Shaging a few other girls never hurts either, nor does getting really pissed and making a public discrace of yourself. It's all therapudic.

Just face the full brunt of the reality that it's over and doesn't matter what crap you want to say to her or what feeling you want to share with her... etc (the bargining stage of grief... after denial) - slap slap wake-up and face the reality and move on. Life is too short to live it without emotional intelligence - being a slave to your emotios is is no life bro!

 

[Ziff]

looks like widdle ziffys been burnt before! personal experience??

God no, I'm not an idiot. I've never been dumped

 

[Emily.]

God no, I'm not an idiot. I've never been dumped

proves the ladder theory true AGAIN

 

[Candypants]

Realise you made a mistake, you forgot 95% of girls are bitches.

Haha.

Breakups can be tough, but just focus on getting over her. There's no point pining away to get her back or figure out why... you're not gonna get an answer.

So stay away from her and her friends. She'll hate you more if you keep bugging her. And there could only be one reason for her breaking up with you: she just wasn't feelin' you or the relationship anymore. Simple as that.

And my opinion is worth something, for I am one of those incredibly bitchy ex-girlfriends who does not want to see or hear about my ex - so much as hear his name - for at least 6 months after we break up.

We're all young, after all. No-one's getting married here. So deal with it and move on.

 

[Vulta]

coming from a similar situation i can offer you only two pieces of advice. thie first is stop contact with her. i know it sounds stupid but the thing is i had an ex on my back for close to three months after we broke up. we both we hooked up on each other but did not want to be together and it ruined any relationships i was trying to form. for bout 3 months now i have not talked to her, but i sumtimes see her at pub or wateva and yeah i still remember the good times, i miss her. but i know we dont work together so i remember the good times and leave it at that.
secondly get a hobby, do something that you can do whenever you feel like it so if u cant sleep one night or sumthing then u get it all outta ur system. myself i go to the gym till it hurts, but hey im fit. wateva works 4 u

 

[Ranger Stacie]

alcohol! and also avoid her till your over it, and dont messgae/call her when you are pissed.

 

[Nick]

alcohol! and also avoid her till your over it, and dont messgae/call her when you are pissed.

you really think alcohol is a good way to deal with emotional pain?

 

[Ranger Stacie]

not neccesarily alcohol, but going out and having a good time and getting your mind off it is

 

[thorrnydevil]

Stuff all this metrosexual crap. Kidnap her, roll her up in carpet and let her sleep with the fishes.

 

[pikto]

done, im going to carpet court in the morning....

 

[Vulta]

i defintly agree no msging or calling wen ur drunk or ur asking for big big trouble

 

[KeypadSDM]

you really think alcohol is a good way to deal with emotional pain?

No. But it's a great way to get her back in bed with you again.

 

[django_]

i defintly agree no msging or calling wen ur drunk or ur asking for big big trouble

ha thats funny..i member my ex ages ago dumped me on our 5mth anniversary...which sucked cuz the last time i saw him he hardly spoke to me and was with another chick..but yeh anyways so this night he was completely drunk and full msging me and shit..but i didnt msg him back...then he emails me abusing the shit out of me, for many various things i did not do...

so he was the dumper, then msgs and contacts me?!

anyways, pikto, sorry buddy but...well it took me a year to get over a 5mth relationship - it wanst till i met someone better that my pining for my ex ended...all i can say advice wise is to just get out, have fun with friends, enjoy yourself. get a journal to help get out feelings u dont necessarily want to tell anyone... (make sure u burn it afterwards - dont want to go back reading everything and getting depressed..trust me) and WHATEVER you DO! trrry and keep away from her! the more u see her the worse it will get

unless of course u know u still have a chance of getting back with her...hope this helps :S