i mean technically its just subjective. personally i work everyday all day and while i DO get my toll for that - eg get seriously ill or dizzy (i still study despite it lmao), my motivation just keeps me going cos its the final run. its a plain stupid idea to sit around all holidays - its just indicative that one isn't mature enough to understand the importance of studying in this time of ur life, and whether it 'matters' or not, its developing discipline. the past is the past too, if i was to use my previous experiences (utter shit) of year 11, i would be more depressed then i was from then for multiplex reasons and not just study. its a lesson of strength rather than something to mourn over and lay around while ur ranks and chances of becoming a future prestige falls away beneath ur eyes. ig thats my own opinion tho - im rough on myself and dont really deal with crap so eh
TLDR - imo if u want it u get it. Excuses get trampled, and the journey the final steps that u spent 13 years to proceed to are made. consequences are natrual and deal with it cos its natrually the huamn experince. use ur past experinces and the pain of them to fuel you with more motivation as to y u wanna get up and study. everyone suffers ur not alone - ive had much more than my fair share too but all i do is use that pain and let it burn into motivation. trust me it works.
not saying you shouldn't study at all during holidays but there is a reasonable amount of leisure you can take during these holidays (talking specifically about the summer holidays during year 12) with it being beneficial as opposed to beign unproductive and setting you up for failure.
also icl you can't preach grinding hard in the holidays while saying you get "seriously ill or dizzy" while working "everyday all day" because is that really how you want to be living your life? is prestige that worth it, because once you to uni or whatever there is always a new goal to strive towards, which is graduation for a lot of people. then there is your career etc. there is no prestige in working yourself to the bone bc it becomes debilitating either physically due to the health issues or mentally because you are not a well rounded and ssocially adjusted adult or human if you work all th time.
but you are right to some extent, there is satisfaction and pride in setting and achieving goals. but ultimately in the long term if you are grinding in one area of your life, you end up neglecting other important areas of your life such as your health, in which case, how will you enjoy success if you are seriously ill?
are you a disciplined person, or are you disciplined in only one area of your life? do you invest time in knowing how to sustain yourself as an adult with a job, family etc. if you spend every single day working/studying? do you know how to cook, drive, make friends, find jobs, manage uni life and a job, build fulfilling relationships, clean etc all at the same time? you don't need to have it all figured out but ultimately if you're 18 and unable to sustain yourself as an adult in the workforce or in uni you willobjectively not have a good life and the prestige wont matter.
is it strength to push through illness and depression? or is it dysfunctional? what if it keeps getting worse to the point where you can't ignore it anymore.
you are seriously setting yourself up to crash out in your 20's. this is not a sustainable way of living and i can speak to that because i was exactly like how you were at a much younger age. by the end of 2024, i was unsatisfied with every single aspect of my life despite having almost perfect grades and being on track for a high atar. i was sick beyond beyond belief and had to be medicated over the span of these holidays lol. yeah i did study as well but it was 2-3 hours of study as opposed to the 12 that i would grind out on a typical holiday. btw studying that much was very much counterproductive, i could have done all that in half the time while still taking breaks.
also ps i have not heard of anyone, even in top schools, studying for the sheer amount of hours you do. many ppl ik with 99+ atars study for about 6 hours (simulating school) in the holidays and that too not every single day. SO MANY of the ppl in top schools have gone overseas for vacation for a week. i don't understand what you are possibly doing for that many hours bc if you're efficient you can finish off your study in a few hours and do other stuff. there is no way you NEED to do 12 hours per day. i just don't understand
