I need help (1 Viewer)

aanthnnyyy

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So here's the deal... I'm asian. And you all know what that means ... Conservative and Overprotective. You've all heard it before so I'm sorry if this is for the 50000th time but I don't know what to do...

So I went out this Friday night and returned home and everything.. But I have another party coming up next week for my Frds 18th and my mum just doesn't let me as two weeks in a row is just too often... It's always about how I will look like a bad child and shame my family (since my mum is a widow that doesn't help either)... I shouldn't go out at night it should be in the day... Don't be stupid and be social etc. i don't go out often, compared to what is considered 'normal' but I try to... I study hard and do very well in school and considerably I deserve to have time off and socialise but it's just so difficult... My friends always ask why didn't you come it was such a good time etc and I'm missing out on so much... I want to have fun but my mum is just so protective- always interrogating the times I get home, where I'm going, who with etc. I don't even get the chance to prove I can be independent... It's Just so difficult and I don't know what to do....
 
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Carrotsticks

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You're in HS, it's pretty common for the mother to be over protective in Asian families.

Don't worry, things often will get better once you get to university.

Just tough it out for now.
 
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Times like this you need to sit down and negotiate with her. I can understand why she is being protective, being a single parent and thinking that slowly her kid would leave her. You should say talk about what the outings actually mean to you. Like an 18th o a close friends not just mention party and not elaborate. Tell her times, date, place and who would be there. Don't be shifty and not giving her the deets. Your mum wants to be a part of your life more importantly.

I'm a girl and my parents would let me go after I inform them about the details, who, why,etc. However not significantly after dark because why? Well firstly why would I unless to satisfy a cool rep. Sometimes you just need a good reason
 

Queenroot

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I used to lie to my parents as that's the only way I could feel I could do things I wanted. I didn't want to lie, but I did want freedom which I probably wouldn't get if I asked them.

Now things are much better.
 

sharoooooo

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Dude, literally story of my life. I rarely go out too, and two weeks in a row is definitely 'too much socialising, not enough study'. I've just learnt to deal with it since theres really no chance to even negotiate or to prove that Im capable of surviving at a party at night time.
Just wait till after HSC, and possibly we (and all asians) will be granted some freedom
 

sinophile

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Social skills is a huge part of leadership. High marks can give you a high paying job but its people skills that makes you a leader.
 

UpperEastSider

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I just told my parents that I need some time off studying. Plus they always tell you that you need a balance between work and your social life.
And if that doesn't work, then you might have to wait. Once your in university there is so much more freedom.

I used to say that I'm going over to a friend's place to study and have dinner and we had to work on a group assignment.
 

JCharted

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I think you have to talk to your mom. I understand how she feels. She is just being protective because she's raising you all by herself. I think it's for your own good.
 

WrittenLoveLetters

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I used to lie to my parents as that's the only way I could feel I could do things I wanted. I didn't want to lie, but I did want freedom which I probably wouldn't get if I asked them.

Now things are much better.
This. I lie about going out to the local mall, but I really took a bus to the next suburb or to the city.
I also frequently lied about going out with my mates when I was out with my (secret) boyfriend.

Being Asian like you, this is what I have come to, I just spread my outings. I go out at most, twice a term (to the local mall, only after school 3PM - 5/6PM) and maybe once in the holidays.
 
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