im in a relationship atm and is *curious* (1 Viewer)

[miikey1986]

well i have been going out with this girl for 3 1/2 months now.

im just wondering do guys always pay for everything? like we see each other maybe 1 to 3 times max a week and i pay for everything, like movies, food , going out etc.. im in uni atm and i work part time and i know she has HSC and doesnt earn income and all.

im not worried about why i pay and this as i am not stingy

but im just curious for other's ppls relationships and experiences as this is my first relationship with a girl

if guys always pay for everything? or whats the deal? pay for self ?

like u know i cant 100% be sure she likes me u kno , as we havent been going out for that long , like is she going out with me for my money??

coz u kno wouldnt u feel some guilt at all? the guy paying for everything everytime

thanks for the help guys and girls much appreciated

 

[ur_inner_child]

should be 50/50

well, every relationship i shout for my bub every now and then

actually its been 30/70 recently cuz it was my 18th recently.

should be fair other times

 

[miikey1986]

hrmm

but how should i ask her like??

coz she hasnt got a job so she cant really pay so yeah dont know how to approach this

like what bout u for instance? how do u get ur income

 

[ur_inner_child]

i get my income cuz i work part time. my bf works full time is often much Much MUCH more loaded... but if she doesnt work, I guess you can't expect much?

Then again, don't expect to baby feed her.... a few nice gestures are always cute.

 

[miikey1986]

true that

so i mean jsut wondering

like how long u been goin out with ur bf?

like wat bout the first few dates weeks or months

was it 50/50 all the way? or he payed for the first few weeks

and how did it change to 50/50?

 

[0o0]

well if you know she doesnt have a job, there isnt really much you can say or do.

i wouldnt worry about it, its usually normal for the guy to foot the bill (especially when she doesnt have a job), but does she ask you to buy her lots of things like shoes, clothes etc? or is it just basic dinner/movies kinda thing?

 

[ur_inner_child]

i've been going out with my bf for almost 2 years.

he didnt want it to be 50/50 when we first started going out. i guess mainly cuz he wanted to impress, but i often refused...

depends on when. around his birthday, i'd be shouting lunch etc for him. just special occasions, you wanna spoil them lol.

i think it became more obvious that it was 50/50 later in the relationship though

 

[miikey1986]

0o0

well nah she doesnt ask for anything like clothes or shoes

but yeah just dinner,movies and anything whilst we go out

but like we dont eat fast food like i spend around mayb 200 at least a week so yeah

and thats true i cant expect much i guess thats what happens when u date some1 in highschool at hsc


ur_inner_child


thanks for the info was helpful maybe when she gets a job or sumthin it'll just be a thing taht changes automatically and yeah same for me the first few weeks or dates obviously the guy wants to impress the girl but how can u change that lol

 

[miikey1986]

not being stingy or anythin

just coz i have my own expenses like transport,food,rent

i pay for eveerything

 

[0o0]

$200 a week? shit, thats quite a substantial ammount for a uni student. (even for a guy with a fulltime job i bet, lol)

you could i guess tone it down a little and explain to your girlfriend that you are unable to spend so much every week seeing you have other essential expences of your own, most girls will understand and wont hold it against you.

 

[gna]

starts off guy paying for everything, then slowly it evens out and even at some point the girl will b paying for most things, then evens out again and so forth

 

[miikey1986]

yeah i know its alot

im in alot of debt hehe i owe my friends alot

well i eat fast food but she doesnt so its weird like me and mates always fast food

hrmm good idea i should prob talk to her bout it or just see her less yea? once a week
but the thing is i really like her and i wanna see her more often but usually if that happens we got nothing to do so we always go out and end up spending money

 

[Korn]

well i have been going out with this girl for 3 1/2 months now.

im just wondering do guys always pay for everything? like we see each other maybe 1 to 3 times max a week and i pay for everything, like movies, food , going out etc.. im in uni atm and i work part time and i know she has HSC and doesnt earn income and all.

im not worried about why i pay and this as i am not stingy

but im just curious for other's ppls relationships and experiences as this is my first relationship with a girl

if guys always pay for everything? or whats the deal? pay for self ?

like u know i cant 100% be sure she likes me u kno , as we havent been going out for that long , like is she going out with me for my money??

coz u kno wouldnt u feel some guilt at all? the guy paying for everything everytime

thanks for the help guys and girls much appreciated

Should be 50/50, but needs ti account for the varied wages and ability to pay.
Say one of you earn $80k a year the other earns $20k a year. Is it fair that the person earing $20k a year is forking out a higher proportion of their income?

 

[miikey1986]

i get about 350 after tax

working part time 3-4 days a week and 3 days full time uni

so yeah

 

[Orange Juice]

if you have money spend it if not dont...
moneys made to be spent... that is all

 

[my sharona]

But to me, spliting costs seems somewhat insulting. I mean, its not like you're business partners. Then again, I can be frigidly traditional.

I'd say if you have arranged to split things 50/50, then do that.
But if you're not sure, then I think you should pay for everything. Until she says something.

 

[Serius]

think of it as your paying her for her time, you want her to come out with you, so pay for her. when the relationship is a little more stable then it can go 50/50 because you both want to see each other the same amount and so pay the same amount.

so you probably want to see her more and arrange the outings all the time? then you probably should pay. especially cause she aint earning anything but u can always do things on the cheap, hiring a video is a good idea, or how about just hanging out, talking or whatever. spending time with someone doesnt have to be expensive. if she wants a meal, instead of eating out cook her something. she will prolly appreciate the gesture and think you are sweet for cooking her s omething... if not she is a stuck up bitch

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

if she hasnt got a job, then dont expect much, but like you said you have your own expenses too. so maybe just try cheaper alternatives for a while? like, make her a picnic and take her somewhere pretty to hang out. im sure she would appreciate the effort you went to just as much if not more than she appreciates you paying for her all the time. you dont need to make expensive outings to impress her - if you do then shes probably not worth it.

 

[neeja]

i put all the girls i wish to date through a test to see if they arent pretentious and care about money and stuff. this way i can find out if they like me for me (and not my money) BEFORE i date them.

so far its worked wonders. admittedly this is a new invention of mine and it is patented so like you cant use it without paying me and stuff

yeah and stuff

that said, its whoever gets to the wallet first (usually me since im like a quickdraw and stuff)

 

[Frigid]

but like we dont eat fast food like i spend around mayb 200 at least a week so yeah

she's milking you pretty hard.

maybe you should just go out less and arrange some less costly venues