Is it polite (1 Viewer)

^CoSMic DoRiS^^

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...to ask potential employers about their gender if you are unsure? Because I just put my foot in it mildly by addressing an application to a woman, only to get a reply back (I got to the interview stage, yay) with "Regards, Mr. XXX" at the bottom...kind of embarrassing since I'd headed up my cover letter with "Dear Madam". So anyway, is it ok to ask the gender of people with ambiguous ethnic names that you have no idea about? Or should you just guess like I did. I would have put "Dear Sir/Madam" but I thought that might be a bit impersonal considering the employer gave their name so they'd expect to be addressed as a person and not some faceless entity.

???
 

kate_is_me

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I would've just put Dear Mr/Ms XXX if you were worried about it being impersonal. I think most people would be fine with Dear Sir/Madam though.
 

^CoSMic DoRiS^^

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Yeah I thought afterwards that sir/madam was probably the way to go but idk I'd be a bit offended if someone addressed me like that when I'd already given them my name...I just couldn't tell from the name whether it was male or female because they didn't give a title and it could have been either, I'm not real good with working out foreign sounding names that way.
 

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^CoSMic DoRiS^^ said:
Yeah I thought afterwards that sir/madam was probably the way to go but idk I'd be a bit offended if someone addressed me like that when I'd already given them my name...I just couldn't tell from the name whether it was male or female because they didn't give a title and it could have been either, I'm not real good with working out foreign sounding names that way.
lawl, wat was the name.
 

withoutaface

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I've actually gotten a lot better results when I just address the letter to the employer's first name. Removes any risk of fucking it up and establishes an immediate interpersonal connection before you even come in for the interview.
 

RogueAcademic

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It's very common these days, in the interests of professionalism, to call and ask who to direct your cover letter or letter of application to, if the job ad doesn't already list the name of the person. And if you're still unsure as to the gender, it's fine to ask.

Ask nicely. For eg if they tell you the name and you haven't heard any clues (eg. "His name is.." or "Her name is.."), then ask "Is that 'Mr' or 'Ms'?". It's slightly more subtle and tactful than to blurt out "Is that a male or female name??".

"Dear Sir" or "Dear Madam" or worse still, "Dear Sir/Madam", these days, may imply you haven't done your research or cannot be bothered to find out, this is particularly important when you're applying for a post-graduation professional/executive position. It may not matter so much if you're just applying for a weekend job at MacDonalds.
 

shinji

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I wrote "dear to whom it may concern" when applying for the internship online. I applied through their website so i wasn't sure who it was.
 

Bobness

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shinji said:
I wrote "dear to whom it may concern" when applying for the internship online. I applied through their website so i wasn't sure who it was.
Actually to be precise, you should have only said 'to whom it may concern' or 'dear sir/madam'.

Although from the contents of this thread we can probably safely assume that being personal is better when applying for graduate/internship positions.
 

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