Is smacking a child ever acceptable? (1 Viewer)

[David Spade]

how do you judge what is hard and why is it neccessary if it isnt hard

maybe when you do something i should punch you in the face, not hard though

 

[Scorch]

The OP of this thread is a total fail at pretentious, structuralist wank.

 

[John McCain]

The OP of this thread is a total fail at pretentious, structuralist wank.

Structuralist criticism formed at most 1/4 of the post.

That structures in society and discipline practices are used to enforce respect for hierarchy's of power is something that is explicitly acknowledged by many of their traditional practitioners. This practice is obviously going to be controversial with those who believe in liberal values, I've read a bit on this, but obviously I could express and develop these ideas further, which is the point of having a discussion.

If you have any actual criticism.

 

[alisondance]

again i say that with children it is not the force of the smack that teaches the lessen rather the context it is given in. if you can find another way to teach the same lessons without smacking go for it, though i dont think smacking is an issue unless it takes an abusive form ie not warranted, excessive force or use.

 

[David Spade]

again i ask will you not learn the same way if i punch you in the back of the head

 

[Scorch]

Structuralist criticism formed at most 1/4 of the post.

That structures in society and discipline practices are used to enforce respect for hierarchy's of power is something that is explicitly acknowledged by many of their traditional practitioners. This practice is obviously going to be controversial with those who believe in liberal values, I've read a bit on this, but obviously I could express and develop these ideas further, which is the point of having a discussion.

If you have any actual criticism.

My criticism is a detachment from the realities of parenting and society. My parents, in smacking me when I acted like a dick, were not harshly forcing me to confine to the power-relations of society: they were telling me not to act like a dick. We do have to draw a line between beating and smacking, and I am referring to the latter.

It builds an innate sense of consequence and of responsibility. Relations, ethics and decorum in society are not genetic things. They are entirely learned, of course.

To read into this act of reinforcement an intricate display of power-relations and their demonstration is to impose what is not there. It teaches kids, who do not fully understand concepts such as money, economics and the real world, that there are consequences if they decide to throw their parents plates on the floor or draw over the walls; they won't fully understand them beyond the fact that they'll get a clip over the ears, but it's important that there are consequences.

Children raised without consequences tend not to be particularly healthy ones.

 

[John McCain]

I disagree with everything.

Any action that comes with enforced 'consequence', is only allowed because of a power imbalance. Only those with power are able to apply consequence over those who have none. It's always a power struggle. That this perhaps isn't consciously acknowledged by it's participants doesn't make it any less real.

It would be unusual to find a parent that doesn't have as an explicit goal, to instill in their children a respect for authority, at least their own, and typically also the authority of law and power.

I think you're only looking at it from a superficial level, you acknowledge that they're teaching a respect for 'consequence' in later life, but from whom and where does this consequence exist in the adult world? This is what parents are teaching. Respect for those who can inflict consequence. Those with power.

Children raised without consequences tend not to be particularly healthy ones.

Which is why no one has argued for such a thing.

 

[Iron]

thrash the bastards

 

[XPac2]

i think to an extent, yer its ok as long as ur not bashing ur kid around with a sock filled with 50 cent pieces. I know when i did something wrong pop (rip) would give me a clip around the ears, but never anything bad.

 

[Antiel]

Hey could one of you pro-smacking cunts address this argument? Oh that's right. You can't. Go fuck yourselves you child molesting scum.



AND FURTHER:

Just because you learned from smacking doesn't mean everyone else will, for fuck's sake everyone on the planet is different from you. I might *learn* from getting shot in the knee every time I make someone feel uncomfortable, it doesn't mean it's an acceptable outcome

However, if you got smacked and learned your lesson, that might be acceptible AND it causes no lasting damage to you. A child will associate smacking to whatever they do wrong. However, if you yell at them for doing something wrong, not only will a young child probably not understand what you are saying, If they do associate yelling with bad behaviour, what would happen in a loud environment? If they watched a sport or went to a party they may also associate that with something imaginary they did wrong? or would they simply be mentally scarred for the rest of their lives???

 

[David Spade]

cool story hansel

 

[alisondance]

im interested in the varied opinions. what other techniques would you use to prevent physically smacking a child? just wondering what alternatives there are purely out of curiosity, this is not a mocking tone or anything im not saying they are better or worse then smacking just after other ideas?

 

[David Spade]

i would hold a pillow over their head until they went limp

 

[alisondance]

i would hold a pillow over their head until they went limp

any other ideas? i mean ones that replace smacking and physical violence altogether?

 

[David Spade]

electro shock therapy

 

[alisondance]

electro shock therapy

haha ill try that out then

so what is your stance on smacking im curious now?

 

[*TRUE*]

Hey could one of you pro-smacking cunts address this argument? Oh that's right. You can't. Go fuck yourselves you child molesting scum.



AND FURTHER:

Just because you learned from smacking doesn't mean everyone else will, for fuck's sake everyone on the planet is different from you. I might *learn* from getting shot in the knee every time I make someone feel uncomfortable, it doesn't mean it's an acceptable outcome

Yeah sure, I can.
A child WILL understand that a parent is unhappy with their action if the parent yells at him. POINT IS a strong willed child WON'T CARE. He needs a reason to stop doing what he is doing. A deterrent, if you like.
Timeout is a useless way of teaching a VERY YOUNG child not to engage in a certain action, because he hasn't the cognitive ability to link things like that together - their decision making is a quick process and their discipline ought to be at their own level. Quick.
It's excellent for tantruming toddlers though. Smacking tantruming toddlers is usually fruitless and often just a revolting release of anger on the part of the parent.

 

[drunkmonkey9]

Seriously all these 18/19 year olds who don't have kids should not be telling people with children how to parent their kids. Even if they are always rite and no one else can tell them so because the world revolves around them. If the kids really are getting abused someone who is a professional in the field will fix it, not you (your not a hero! :O ). End of story.

 

[Cyrus the Great]

We smack animals for disciplinary purposes, so what about children? When a parent smacks their children its in the child's best interests

 

[oasfree]

Smacking is reasonable only up to certain age. Often it should end at 5 years old when kids start to develop a sense of justice and fairness. At that point smacking (or violence) would not be very effective and will start to generate resentment.

Obviously rewarding positive behaviours is the best way but you would still need some punishment when all else fail. It should be a the last resort. After kids turn 5-6, different form of punishment like taking away privileges would be better. They don't always work. Some people emply heavy mental or psychological abuse as punishment. In this case it's actually worse than physical punishment.

Why is the current generation has little respect? It's the lack of punishment. I don't condone physical punishment. But it's an effective way to deal with kids at very young age where they don't understand justice and moral teaching. Obviously the good kids would not receive much punishment.

BTW, don't you ever consider how kids punish their parents? It's a nightmare when they keep wailing until you give them what they want. They test you in public. They throw tantrums. They shame you in front of others. They make all sorts of trouble if you don't play with them. I have to say that the amount of punishment my kids do to me is many times whatever I have done to them. Can I complain or punish them for the amount of torture they do to me? Ofcourse not. Therefore it's fair to give them a few smacks over the years!!!