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Jizz in the Eye? (2 Viewers)

Revelrous

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if you swallow then sneeze a short time later wont it all come out of your nose?


oh and semen is good for bathing your contacts
the sperms push away the little dust particles = clean contacts
you might get some in your eye then though
 

Starstruck

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if you swallow then sneeze a short time later wont it all come out of your nose?


oh and semen is good for bathing your contacts
the sperms push away the little dust particles = clean contacts
you might get some in your eye then though

Are you being serious about the contact thing? :rofl2:
 

Darnie

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true story fellas, i was having a whack a couple of weeks ago and blew really hard and it squirted up onto my eyelid (cause i had my eye closed obviously)
but then i opened my eye and it burned to the shithouse. it was red all day and then a couple of days later i got conjunctivitis (pink eye)
 

cassieagill

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lol an angry pirate, you jizz in the chicks eye so she grabs it in pain and then you kick her in the shin so she lifts it up and hops around :D
 

ascentyx

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The angry dragon: While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl’s nostrils, resembles a dragon’s snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one.
 

Silent_Sniper

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The angry dragon: While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl’s nostrils, resembles a dragon’s snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one.
Lmao + rep
 

addikaye03

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The angry dragon: While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl’s nostrils, resembles a dragon’s snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one.
hahaha that reminds me of something i hard the other day actually. Has anyone else ever heard of a donkey punch?

Donkey Punch: When your fucking a girl from behind and shes about to climax, and you punch her in the back of the head, apparently they (girls) has some kinda of weird spasm, if timed just right. Haven't tried it but there ya go...
 

williamc

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lol at angry dragon.

Spiderman: Just as you are about to cum you pull out and cum in your hands you then in a spiderman (spider-webbing) type fashion throw it in her face
 

williamc

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Bucking Bronco

Term used to describe an odd doggy style method. The male leans down over the female during sex then strongly grips the breasts then says into the ear of the female something that would cause her to frantically try to get away (i have aids, your sister was better, where did this rash on my dick come from?, your a lot better than that cold girl i met in the morgue, etc..)
 

williamc

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Abe Lincoln

when you jizz on your partner, (or unconcious friends) face and then proceed to shave off yours or their pubic hair and apply it to their semen covered area, thus resembling a beard. to add to the "abe lincoln" effect, then take a large dump on their head to reveal the form of a top hat

Alligator Fuckhouse

A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!

Angry Dragon

While a girl is sucking you off, right as you are about to cum, you grab hold of her head and pull her mouth as far onto your cock as possible. She proceeds to gag from the cock unexpectedly being rammed down her throat, but since your cock is blocking her air passage, her cough (and your cum) exit through her nose. The cum dripping out of both of the girl’s nostrils, resembles a dragon’s snout - and after pulling a stunt like this, you can be sure she's going to be an angry one.

Angry Penguin

A female is performing oral sex on a male. Just when he is about to "get there" she gets up and walks away, leaving him alone, aroused, with pants around his ankles. The male waddles after the female like a Angry Penguin.

Angry Pirate

when a woman is giving a man head, he pulls out, and nuts in her eye. Upon doing this, she will let out some sort of grunt of disapproval, and at this point he kicks her in the shin. This poor girl, being pissed and hurt, will hobble after your laughing ass.

Birmingham Booty Call

Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone

Blumpkin


The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump.

Boston Pancake


When a lover defecates on another lovers chest. Then pats down the feces with his buttox to make it into a flat surface. Then the man ejaculates on the feces which acts as the syrup.

Bucking Bronco

Term used to describe an odd doggy style method. The male leans down over the female during sex then strongly grips the breasts then says into the ear of the female something that would cause her to frantically try to get away (i have aids, your sister was better, where did this rash on my dick come from?, your a lot better than that cold girl i met in the morgue, etc..)

Danny Glover


To give a 'Danny Glover' is when you shove your hand up a female partners ass, thus creating a fecal 'glove'. Then you proceed to slap her in the face multiple times, giving her a brown face to the effect of the black actor. Usually done post-coitus.

Hot Lips Houlahan

Before you have sex with a woman, put Tabasco sauce on the OUTSIDE of the condom, her pussy lips will be on fire in no time. If you want to cool the burn, pull out and hose it down.

Hot Lunch

the act of shitting in cling film stretched over someones open mouth then fucking the mouth and at the point of ejaculation bursting through the cling film giving the recipient a mouthful of shit and spunk

Lemonade Stand

When a man is standing up and receiving oral pleasure from a bitch he does not like--or maybe he likes, but is cool with it--and he simply pulls his penis out and begins peeing all over her head. Following the act he must ask the woman for 25 cents.

Rusty Trombone

To get rimmed whilst receiving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.

Space Docking

The act of defecating directly into one's vagina. Like a space ship attempting to dock to a space station, "space docking" involves very accurate control and near-perfect alignment of the two orifices.

Strawberry Shortcake (aka Jelly Doughnut)


The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake.

Tony Danza

When you are giving it to a chick from behind, you yell out "Who's the boss?" She'll get confused, turn her head around, at this moment, you punch her in the face and then scream TONY DANZA!!!
 

crimewave9

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williamc
there is something wrong with you i swear.
also the Angry penguin made me laugh on the floor lol

Angry Penguin

A female is performing oral sex on a male. Just when he is about to "get there" she gets up and walks away, leaving him alone, aroused, with pants around his ankles. The male waddles after the female like a Angry Penguin.
:rofl2:

where would you get these haha
 

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