Ok, so I am a big reader, I read for hours a night, and often gets books as gifts.
So my Aunt buys me this book called Labyrinth and says "It's supposed to be the new Da Vinci code".
I immediately cringe as I hated the Da Vinci Code. Also, the authors name is Kate Mosse which is way too similar to Kate Moss.
I didn't touch it for 11 months (I can say this as an exact as she gave it to me on my birthday in October), but the other night I finished the book I was reading (Catch 22 for like the 9th time) and decided to give Labyrinth a go.
The first sentence is as follows:
"A single line of Blood trickles down the pale underside of her arm, a red seam on a white sleeve".
This immediately set off my gag reflex. Never the less, I persisted.
The second paragraph ends with:
"Then a drop of blood splashes onto her bare leg, exploding like a firework in the sky on Guy Fawkes night."
So I am only 7 lines into the book and I have already been inundated with bad imagery.
Forth paragraph:
"Strands of hair, the colour of soft brown sugar..."
I can't believe I'm still reading this crap...
Fifth Paragraph:
"The only touches of glamor are her delicate silver earrings, in the shape of stars, which glint like sequins".
It was here that I could take no more.
I mean, what the fuck? It was like she went to some weekend "How to Be an Author" course and the teacher was like "The secret to a fantastic novel is loads of similes and metaphors", then, by her own prerogative she made them overly specific and redundant.
This is as far as i could handle:
So my Aunt buys me this book called Labyrinth and says "It's supposed to be the new Da Vinci code".
I immediately cringe as I hated the Da Vinci Code. Also, the authors name is Kate Mosse which is way too similar to Kate Moss.
I didn't touch it for 11 months (I can say this as an exact as she gave it to me on my birthday in October), but the other night I finished the book I was reading (Catch 22 for like the 9th time) and decided to give Labyrinth a go.
The first sentence is as follows:
"A single line of Blood trickles down the pale underside of her arm, a red seam on a white sleeve".
This immediately set off my gag reflex. Never the less, I persisted.
The second paragraph ends with:
"Then a drop of blood splashes onto her bare leg, exploding like a firework in the sky on Guy Fawkes night."
So I am only 7 lines into the book and I have already been inundated with bad imagery.
Forth paragraph:
"Strands of hair, the colour of soft brown sugar..."
I can't believe I'm still reading this crap...
Fifth Paragraph:
"The only touches of glamor are her delicate silver earrings, in the shape of stars, which glint like sequins".
It was here that I could take no more.
I mean, what the fuck? It was like she went to some weekend "How to Be an Author" course and the teacher was like "The secret to a fantastic novel is loads of similes and metaphors", then, by her own prerogative she made them overly specific and redundant.
This is as far as i could handle:
