marriage or experimentation? (1 Viewer)

[MaryJane]

Yeah, but in the process of teaching you what you dont want, its showing you (or at least narrowing down) what you do want.

Its a two-way street.

And to the first point, it seems like they are taking this pov to a degree (especially Ozgirl.. she says she wants to 'marry' her s/o, and then mentions the 'future', making them one-in-the-same in my opinion). I think you can have a future with people, but not marriage futures. I went into my first relationship knowing I was going to have a long-term relationship with him (we were together 2.5 years). Now, with my current s/o, I can see us having a future which might possibly amount to marriage material, but if it doesn't, I know that I have some future with him. There is a difference, but the posters on this thread dont seem to see it this way. Marriage=future.

 

[ogmzergrush]

Yeah, but in the process of teaching you what you dont want, its showing you (or at least narrowing down) what you do want.

Its a two-way street.

Oh, that's ok then. Just the way your first post there sounded I wasn't sure if you agreed, it sounded a bit like you didn't but I probably just took the narrow interpretation by accident

I think you can have a future with people, but not marriage futures.

True, but it depends on the individual. Personally I don't see the point in spending an extended period getting to know someone and growing close to them, only to turn around and do the same thing with someone else. Of course that's completely opinion based and I'd expect a lot of people not to agree with it.

I guess it just varies from person to person based on what you want to get out of a relationship, and life at large. I don't really think there's any wrong way to go about this, providing that the person themselves is happy with it, just that some ways make sense to some people and others don't

 

[MaryJane]

Completely, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and what you said about not wanting to put energy into something you wont reap benefit out of is exactly the underlying psychological drives in all people in relationships. I just figure that sometimes that's not clear until you find that you would be happier with someone else. And I dont think its v. fair to just dismiss someone because you're not going to marry them... I wouldnt like to be dumpedby a guy who says "I'm only 16, but really this isnt going to work- I cant see myself marrying you"!

This was a nice, intellectually stimulating conversation! Ta!

 

[2sense]

It mostly depends on what kind of culture you were brought up in.

 

[OZGIRL86]

Yeah, but in the process of teaching you what you dont want, its showing you (or at least narrowing down) what you do want.

Its a two-way street.

And to the first point, it seems like they are taking this pov to a degree (especially Ozgirl.. she says she wants to 'marry' her s/o, and then mentions the 'future', making them one-in-the-same in my opinion). I think you can have a future with people, but not marriage futures. I went into my first relationship knowing I was going to have a long-term relationship with him (we were together 2.5 years). Now, with my current s/o, I can see us having a future which might possibly amount to marriage material, but if it doesn't, I know that I have some future with him. There is a difference, but the posters on this thread dont seem to see it this way. Marriage=future.

Maryjane I don't have a s/o at the moment.
When I say "having a future together" that dosn't neccessarily mean getting married. Having a future together can also mean a long term relationship.

 

[MaryJane]

I agree. I also want to be in a relationship with someone who I can see myself marrying or spending the rest of my life with and they can see me as the same. If we can't see ourselves having a future together whats the point.

To me, and to others who I know on here, think this is what you meant. You didnt define what you meant by future, and only referred to marriage, so really, from my perspective, I put two and two together....

Anyway, thats great. I'm glad you're not signing your life away... yet!