moving away (1 Viewer)

[artist91]

hey i'm from qld and thinking of applying to study at usyd next year. i think i've got a pretty good chance of getting in. but there's one problem....

i have a boyfriend.

and he's been my boyfriend for 15 months.

should i tell him i'm thinking of applying?

 

[jumb]

No. The recipe for a successful relationship is lies and secrets. He's too fragile to be able to accept this, so you should protect him by not saying anything.

 

[Riet]

I'd wait until you find out if you get in. There's no point unsettling him for no reason, and even if you do get in you'll still have a good while to think about it/discuss it with him.

 

[i-love-maynard]

Its like in Home and Away, except Matilda was moving to WA for uni lol!! Yeah, she left Ric and just went alone. He was pretty cut.

 

[Azure]

No. The recipe for a successful relationship is lies and secrets. He's too fragile to be able to accept this, so you should protect him by not saying anything.

LOL

 

[Bainesy]

No. The recipe for a successful relationship is lies and secrets. He's too fragile to be able to accept this, so you should protect him by not saying anything.

while this is true, the fact that you are wondering whether or not you should tell him is a clear sign that you should not tell him anything.

just think, if he is such a major part of your life then you shouldnt move away for any reason. but if he is a minor part of your life, it doesnt matter what he thinks, cause he doesnt hold any cards in the outcome of your life

 

[artist91]

well he is a massive part of my life atm this is true. but i'm not sure that i should base my whole future to suit him. we are only 17. i'm just worried that i'll regret my decision either way-
1) i'll move away, give myself great opportunites and experience for my future, but regret leaving him behind
or
2) i'll stay, settle for my second choice uni, keep the realtionship going, but regret not taking the step forward and moving

 

[Caitlin63]

What does your boyfriend want to do after school. Perhaps he is interested in working / going to uni in Sydney too. I think you should talk to him about it...

but that's just my 2 cents

 

[artist91]

yeah i thought about that. it would be a good idea but it can't work for us. he has a building apprenticeship up here in qld and he has 3 years left to do

 

[YO!]

yeah i thought about that. it would be a good idea but it can't work for us. he has a building apprenticeship up here in qld and he has 3 years left to do

Tell him to come to Sydney and I'll get him an apprenticeship here with my brother.

 

[Pace_T]

excuse me for my ignorance but whats so special about architecture design at usyd??

also dont listen to this advice:
"I'd wait until you find out if you get in. There's no point unsettling him for no reason, and even if you do get in you'll still have a good while to think about it/discuss it with him."

as rebekkie said, it would be much more crushing to find out that you applied behind is back and only waited until you got in to tell him. thats just sneaking around his back.

 

[Riet]

If you get in you don't have to go. There's nothing sneaking about it.

 

[Kirsty Xx]

let him come on bos and check out your sig. then he'll know where you stand.

 

[artist91]

excuse me for my ignorance but whats so special about architecture design at usyd??

quite a bit compared to qld. and it's not just the course i'm interested in sydney for anyway. it's alot of other things.

yeah i really don't want to tell him now and make him all upset and stressed. but then again if i tell him in november i don't think he'd be too thrilled lol.

 

[artist91]

let him come on bos and check out your sig. then he'll know where you stand.

lol there's something wrong with my sig??

 

[pritnep]

Well it does say your university aim in your signature.

Why are you scared of telling him? I think when you realistically think about what the answer to that is then all your questions will be answered.

My opinion is it's probably because your know/think that you telling him you'll be moving away next year will probably mean the end of your relationship or maybe not if he is willing to do LDR. Not telling if it is something you are seriously considering is kind of holding onto false hope, you never know he might be willing to come with you.

Good luck.

 

[Kirsty Xx]

lol there's something wrong with my sig??

University aim: USyd B.Arch.Des, UQ B.Arch

 

[artist91]

hmm it's a tough one. 16 weeks to think about it lol. i'll ease it into him slowly lol. do you think LDRs in between uni holidays would be impossible to keep? (i'd be returning to qld on the hols).

 

[Riet]

Why would you want to go through the hassle unless you think you're going to marry him or something? Sydney's a big city, you'll probably find someone else at uni and then be stuck between the two of them. It's all or nothing, really.

 

[artist91]

yeah i guess. whoo this is going to be fun lol. looks like i've got a bit of thinking to do. that's what I always think to myself "yeah it's been 15 months and we're having a good time but what's the chance that we're going to end up together forever." that's why i'm hesitant on basing decisions that effect my future around him. meh. thanks for your help