Official: Joke Thread (2 Viewers)

[Sheikh_Taj]

Post some funny jokes down, please only put ones that are funny.

Rules: Put down jokes, which made YOU laugh when you heard them.
Racist/religious jokes ARE aloud. (But nothing offensive, just light racist/religious humour)

 

[ohexploitable]

I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves!

 

[Chemical Ali]

islam

 

[Sheikh_Taj]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle god kept.

The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.

The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money into the air and what god wants, god takes."[/FONT]

(This type of racist is ok)

 

[ohexploitable]

Why does a white bear dissolve in water?

Because they're polar!

 

[Sheikh_Taj]

^ lol
Someones likes nerd jokes.
Did they make you rofl?

 

[CardCheat]

how many babies does it take to paint a house

 

[CardCheat]

how many babies does it take to paint a house

nothing, because she's already been told twice.

 

[CardCheat]

nothing, because she's already been told twice.

oh fuck i mixed up the jockes lol

 

[CardCheat]

nothing, because she's already been told twice.

ok ok:

thomas edison, a veloceraptor and a nuclear physicst walk into a nuclear reactor

 

[CardCheat]

ok ok:

thomas edison, a veloceraptor and a nuclear physicst walk into a nuclear reactor

anyway funny story i sometimes write suicide notes and leave them in public places

 

[CardCheat]

what happens when a black man jumps into a swimming pool

 

[ohexploitable]

A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

 

[CardCheat]

what happens when a black man jumps into a swimming pool

he becoms white, because he was so dirty all his life and had never washed before

 

[CardCheat]

A constant function and e^x are walking on Broadway. Then suddenly the constant function sees a differential operator approaching and runs away. So e^x follows him and asks why the hurry. "Well, you see, there's this differential operator coming this way, and when we meet, he'll differentiate me and nothing will be left of me...!" "Ah," says e^x, "he won't bother ME, I'm e to the x!" and he walks on. Of course he meets the differential operator after a short distance.

e^x: "Hi, I'm e^x"

diff.op.: "Hi, I'm d/dy"

errrrrr get your unfunny jockes out of this thead you noob

 

[CardCheat]

ok, megan fox and k8ty perry are walking down the street

and shane squires is too pussy to talk to either

(this one is not a joke)

 

[siddharthlaha]

Hickory dickory dick,
Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
and the rest got away with minor injuries.

 

[CardCheat]

Hickory dickory dick,
Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
and the rest got away with minor injuries.

^lame indian.^

 

[Sheikh_Taj]

he becoms white, because he was so dirty all his life and had never washed before

LOL thats epic.
No offence black dudes

 

[CardCheat]

fat chicks with confidence