Opposition to the Concept of Marriage. (1 Viewer)

[Bendeguz]

Opposition to the Concept of Marriage.

Recently a member here (faov) stated that “I don't believe in the entire concept of marriage for hetrosexuals, homosexuals, etc.”. I find this a very interesting concept, and I would like to know two things:

I. Do any other BoS members sympathise?

II. If so, then why?

Please note that I do not wish to judge or attack, I am only curious to why there is support for this value that goes against the mainstream of human society. What is the reasoning, the logic behind it? I once encountered a person who was opposed to the concept of marriage for they believed it was a tool of the ‘Religious Classes’ to control and oppress the proletariat. Are your opinions akin to those of this radical Marxist, or have you you'r own ideaolgy?

So if you could be so kind, enlighten me.

 

[faov]

I am so flattered you would quote me!!!

Thank you!!

*hugs*

btw. I will respond to this topic more appropriately tomorrow, I'm way too tired now.

 

[Jachie]

Who are you George Bendeguz?

 

[Sweety pie12]

marriage is overrated thats why
in todays society marriage ends in divorce more then half the time
with that sort of odds why set yourself up for heart break?
dont get me wrong im not against marriage this is a simple statement

 

[ur_inner_child]

I'm all for the seperation between the church and the state. Leave marriages to the churches. That way, anti-gays wouldn't spew out the definition of marriage too, despite the fact that marriage was never always about hetereosexual love. It once was hetereosexual finances.

Marriage is just a title. There are a good amount of couples that have maintained their finances and family without ever committing to it as a marriage. However, religious people can have the marriages all they want, and I respect their ideals about it, including abstinence until marriage. I just don't respect anyone that doesn't have the decency to do the vice versa and respect those who choose not to.

Having said this, and as much as I stick to it by principle, in practice, I'd ideally see a good relationship (presuming you are in the right circumstances) to aim for marriage. And then sticking it out for the (very) long run for the children. I am also a true believer of fidelity.

 

[Bendeguz]

Alright, first of all: why am I like a character of Seinfeld?

in todays society marriage ends in divorce more then half the time
with that sort of odds why set yourself up for heart break?

If you wish to avoid heartbreak, why enter a relationship at all? And who’s fault is it that according to you at least fifty percent of unions end up as failures? Would those people have greater success if they did not tie a metaphoric knot conjoining their futures?

I'm all for the seperation between the church and the state. Leave marriages to the churches.

Does marriage have to be religious? Is there something wrong with a legal marriage under the eyes of The State?

Marriage is just a title.

Is it really? Look throughout history at the human race; as far as I know, in all areas of human society - wether they be the avenues of Rome with the Latins or botany bay with the Aboriginals - there has been the concept of marriage. In many forms, in many ideals, it has existed. Could this possibly mean that marriage, the legal and spiritual union between two human beings, is a fundamental part of being human?

 

[umop 3pisdn]

Marriage is a power construct common to most (but not all) societies in human history just as male dominance was common to most (but not all) societies in human history. In modernised nations male dominance has decreased and so has the importance of marriage.

 

[Ennaybur]

faov is a troll account. disregard everything he says.

although come to think of it marriage makes no sense. staying with one person all ur life goes against all our natural sexual urges.

yeah but so's bendy

hai zimmerman :wave:

 

[umop 3pisdn]

bendy-guz

our Hungarian gypsy friend with zero relationship prospects

 

[Bendeguz]

Aside from the gypsy part, correct.

“…although come to think of it marriage makes no sense. staying with one person all ur life goes against all our natural sexual urges.”

Don’t get started on ‘natural’. If humans where ‘natural’ vegetarians wouldn’t exist and we would still be swinging in the trees. The point of civilisation is to overcome the instinctual animal urges, and to embrace the social construct which we call ‘humanity’, and to make use of the sentience which evolution has provided us in order to maximise our potential for survival. Or at least that is my view.

Than again we can look at marriage customs of many Arabic, North African and Central Asian cultures. Oh, and Mormons. Possibly polygamy might be an attempt at combining of what I call ‘humanity’ and what you call ‘natural sexual urges’?

 

[SweetSeasons]

I dunno.. I used to think.. I dunno that it was just a peice of paper and that I didn't need a bit of paper to say I would be commited to someone for the rest of my life.. but now I'f met my bf.. I kinda feel like.. I want that ring and bit of paper to remember the commitment I want to make to him... if we ever get married.. which I hope we do

 

[SweetSeasons]

natural urges has also led to wide spread things such as genital herpies, aids, heart break, wars and so forth..

just because you are married does not mean you'll get fidellity...

 

[SweetSeasons]

I think commited long lasting relationships are much more rewarding then spreding the seed... human race doesn't even need to have sex to reproduce any more.. it's not the stone age..

 

[Ennaybur]

we live so long these days. Also, it is more financially benificial, but perhaps emotionally restricting harmful in the long run to expect monogamy for over 40 years?

 

[SweetSeasons]

it's.. about the romance of it all maybe..

I could see me growing old with my current bf and being extreamly happy, wether I married him or not.

I used to say.. I don't see the point in getting married a piece of paper doesn't tell me how commited I am to someone, but if the person i thought I was going to be with forever any way asked me to marry them, and felt the need for us to get married I would.

Right now.. I couldn't think of anything that proved my commitment to my bf more then to take his last name, have children with him ect.. yeah this is years away for me and him I think.. but I deff want it to happen, I deff want to marry him..

 

[SweetSeasons]

are you opposed to marriage or to the concept of monogomy.. I know more couples that have been faithfull well into their 50's then I do couples that haven't.

I don't think the fact that your married or not has any effect on wether someone is gonna cheat on you 20 or 30 years down the tack.

also, there are things about a person you can find attractive that go beyond the physical. Like humor, kindness, undertsanding, trust. Loves not about physical..

Yeah people cheat on their partners, it's because they fall out of love with their partners.. it has nothing to do with being married or not..

 

[SweetSeasons]

I dont think it's in our nature to cheat.

 

[SweetSeasons]

and even if it is, and someone does cheat on their parnter 20 year down the track.. if there is still love their I believe the relationship can be repaird..

 

[SweetSeasons]

nope.. I don't ever see us loosing interest.. there are so many things you can do to spice it up a bit.

I don't think we'll ever cheat. we care about each other too much.. n I think we always will

 

[Calculon]

Marriage is just a title. There are a good amount of couples that have maintained their finances and family without ever committing to it as a marriage. However, religious people can have the marriages all they want, and I respect their ideals about it, including abstinence until marriage. I just don't respect anyone that doesn't have the decency to do the vice versa and respect those who choose not to.

I definately agree with this sort of criticism, essentially that it's just a piece of paper etc and is probably worthless - You can have the same relationship without it.

Having said this, and as much as I stick to it by principle, in practice, I'd ideally see a good relationship (presuming you are in the right circumstances) to aim for marriage. And then sticking it out for the (very) long run for the children. I am also a true believer of fidelity.

Again in agreement, I feel that marriage or at least some sort of marriage like state will bring the most happiness to my life in the long-term (lol crazy?)

although come to think of it marriage makes no sense. staying with one person all ur life goes against all our natural sexual urges.

We have other urges than sexual ones (such as looking after offspring etc) that can biologically explain monogomy (at least for certain periods of time) imo.

There is no reason to supress this particular urge.

For some people there is. A lot of people are prone to jealousy, a lot of people prefer the feeling of knowing that person is 'theirs' etc etc etc these are natural tendencies too and because of them there does come reason to supress the urge.

but would u really want to be with the same person for like 50 years.

No one I've met so far, but then that's why I'll just continue having relationships until I do?

marriage makes sense as a partnership, why does it have to be so closely related to sex?

Because if you're going to stay good friends then for a lot of people bringing in another merely complicates it and makes it hard. For some it might not be difficult at all.