I study hard, but perhaps I didnt study smart? There days when I studied for 15 hours.. But many of those hours were probably contributed to me just reading notes and highlighting. My downfall, perhaps was me not doing practice papers or preparing essays. My parents never really cared about my marks/uai, When I told them.. It was more just... "Ok", And seeings I always had homework to do, or I always had my nose in a book or writing summaries etc...My dad would always be the first person to say "What are you really doing? Are you pretending?.. Highschool can't seriously be giving you that much homework?....If your bored you can always go behind my T.V and pick up all the dvds and videos that have fallen behind it"..(Yew, thats motivation for you)! I Know myself that I studied really hard for the HSC, And I ended up with a pretty mediocre result...But I'm content. I think another issue I had was tha I was too busy hating a subject, and thus lost interest in studying for it..and understanding it; I only liked 2 subjects out of the 6 that I did- I hated Legal studies with a passion, I didn't like the teachers attitude and I would sit in class and doodle and because it was my spare unit (so I thought) I never tried in it, I didnt study as hard for it for the trials and hsc, I came 5th in the class anyways and ended up with a decent result.. But after getting them back, I thought If i had've sat down, lost my attitude problem-Things could've been better. And to rub in to all my luck I had the same teacher for religion, So naturally I did the same in this class, I came 8/42 in the grade and had a decent result, but like legal.. If I sat down to realise how childish I was like, things mightve been different. English.. I hate the teacher with a passion.. The subject I love. I had soooooooooooooooooo much hate for this teacher, This was out of my hand.. we couldn't find a level to settle on, I came 2nd last in the class (out of 12), And so after the english exams..I wasn't too happy with my performance, So I thought........Eh, Maybe she was right, I wasn't "Advanced english material". I got my marks back and my exam mark was higher than my assesment mark, Oh boy.. did that hurt? HELL YES. And lastly, PDHPE.. I didn't understand the subject, it didnt interest me, it bored me..it was too bludgey for my liking.. however, I came 3rd and got a super shit mark for it in the end (as did the rest of the class) and inconclusion we had a theory that we all sucked at health. So instead of legal, pdhpe and sor2 I had always wanted to do: modern history (school said: "we aren't opening the class up for one student), History ext. (we aren't opening the class up for one student), Latin (latin? isn't that a dead language?..you can't do that for the hsc! oh and we wouldnt open it up for one student even if we had a teacher "how about distance ed?".."No") English ext 1 (Was I going to bother to apply after the teacher was so quizzical over my choice to do advanced?). But Ive realised I can't spend all my time going "I could've done better if I'd tried harder" or blaming subject selection or teacher hatredness for my poor performance during the year. Truth is, I tried so fucking hard, and ended up with a relatively shit result, so I should cop it on the chin and move on.
(I have no idea why I quoted airness)