• Congratulations to the Class of 2024 on your results!
    Let us know how you went here
    Got a question about your uni preferences? Ask us here

Posting my Module A essay (1 Viewer)

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Yeh i was just wondering, if i posted this practice essay on Comparative study of Text and Context "In the wild" (BR/BNW) that i'm just writing now on the 2002 HSC question, would anyone be willing to have a read, comment on it, like what mark you reckon it would get, suggest improvements? So yeh just reply if you think you can give it a read. Thanks
 
Last edited:

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Originally posted by hipsta_jess
sure...but its not there yet...
Yeh i thought i would just see if i got a couple of replies before i posted my work up :p
 

hipsta_jess

Up the mighty red V
Joined
May 30, 2003
Messages
5,981
Gender
Female
HSC
N/A
oh, by the way, i might not be too accurate (i dont do bnw/br), so i cant really say whether your facts and stuff are right, but ill 'mark' based on your writing skills and all that sorta stuff
 

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Thats cool
It'll be up shortly

Thanks in advance :apig:
 

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
ok, it's finished, but i think it might be a bit too long, its like 1180 words...ahh well. I guess i can just copy+paste it into a post, here we go:

HSC Question 2002

In comparing your TWO texts you will have to become aware of how the contexts of the texts have shaped their form and meaning. Of more interest, perhaps is the comparison of the values associated with each text.

To what extent has this point of view been your experience to your study of In the Wild?

The composer of any text is invariably influenced by outside factors, which significantly impact on the form and meaning of the text composed. Blade Runner, a film directed by Ridley Scott and Brave New World, a novel written by Aldous Huxley have been influenced by, and subsequently have drawn values from their differing contexts. Their use of form and technique often differs, but ultimately they reach a similar end; a perspective on the concept of In the Wild which aims to shape the response of the responder, who will also invariably interpret the meaning presented in the text according to their own context. Both these texts challenge the responders own values and ideas concerning our relationship with the natural world, and the nature of human existance through utilisation of the techniques offered through the form their text is presented in.

A dystopic science-fiction film, Blade Runner presents technology and large corporations domination over earth, and the natural world. Its depiction of the future is bleak, a stance reflected in the opening scene. Wide, panoramic shots reveal the full horror; a rust-coloured city, with thick smog choking the skyline, and tall smokestacks belching fire and grey smoke. The huge Tyrell corporation building looms dark and foreboding, the camera taking a lower angle to emphasise its size and power. The non-diegetic music is low, brooding and futuristic, contributing, along with these disturbing visuals and evocation of setting, to the sombre, desolate tone. Immediately, through effective use of techniques available through the film medium, Scott is depicting a setting devoid of links to the natural world technology has taken over. Such an idea has similarly, but through a different form been presented by Huxley, in the opening passage of his dystopic science fiction novel BNW, which depicts a production line for the creation of human life. Descriptive, depressive imagery is used Harsh, thin light to evoke a tone of barren sterility, while metaphors The light was frozen, dead, a ghost and connotations pale, corpse-covered rubber of death extend this evocation of a setting where technology overrides nature, warmth and natural life replaced by cold, sterile science, in long recession down the work tables. Huxley, like Scott, presents a value of nature and humans relationship with the natural world through a stark lack of it, portraying such settings negatively through technique, thereby shaping the response of the responder towards this value. The separate contexts of both Scott and Huxley were undoubtedly the inspiration for such meaning presented; In Huxleys time, the 1940s, Ford production line technology had recently been implemented, and hailed as the way of the future. This, combined with the discovery of gene therapy, eugenics, led Huxley to fear a future where technology is hailed over nature, going so far as to combine with eugenics, and create human life, defying lifes natural rhythms. Scott was influenced by the rise to prominence of environmental issues, and rise to power of transnational corporations Through these issues combined, Scott saw a rejection and destruction of the natural world in favour of technological advancement, urbanisation, and greed. From completely different contexts, both Scott and Huxley have drawn this common value: a relationship of appreciation and respect with the natural world. Using the completely different forms of film and prose fiction respectively, Scott and Huxley use different techniques to ultimately shape the response of the responder in favour of this value.

Another value presented by Huxley is a value of the full human experience of life. He believes human life is not complete without positive AND negative emotions, and he conveys this by depicting a society which completely avoids pain, fear and anger through use of the drug Soma. Nature is shown to represent variety, change, and unpredictability, therefore representing the full life experience that Huxley values. Nature, therefore, is a source of fear for World State citizens, such as Lenina. In Chapter 6, Lenina and Bernard are crossing the English channel and she was appalled by the rushing emptiness of the night, the black, foam-flecked water heaving below them. The juxtaposition of rushing emptiness and the descriptive imagery of water heaving creates an image of chaos, and this combined with evocation of the colour black creates a tone of fear and uncertainty. Lenina cannot cope with such negative emotion, and seeks comfort in materialism Lets turn the radio on, quick! Through depicting such a natural scene as negative from the devalued viewpoint of Lenina, Huxley is conveying his value of the full experience of emotions. In contrast Scott, through differing form, technique, and with differing contextual influence, presents a value of respect for human life, through the concept of Replicants, life created by Tyrell corporation, used off-world for slave labour. Replicants are created for corporation benefit, then discarded after 4 years, or in some cases, brutally killed. This represents a disrespectful overthrow of natures role of the creation of life, and death, for the purpose of corporation greed. In one scene Zora, a replicant, is being chased by the protagonist Deckard, who wishes to retire her. The camera angle is a medium shot, from the point of view of a neutral face in the crowd as Zora frantically pushes past people, highlighting both the apathy of people to her impending death, and creating a tone of frantic desperation. She is shot in the back multiple times, shown crashing through glass in slow motion, with non-diegetic music slow and poignant visual and aural techniques combining to draw out the slow, painful mode of death, shaping the response of the responder to one of sympathy, and ultimately depicting Tyrells creation and subsequent termination of life as irresponsible, and disrespectful, therefore conveying his own value of respect for human life. While Huxleys contextual influence for his value of the full life experience was based on the hedonism and materialism of post-WW1 society, Scotts value of respect for human life was influenced by his observance of the rise in the 1980s of very powerful transnational corporations, the development of a culture of greed, and increasing technological advancement; he saw the three combining in a morally fragmenting world, culminating into nature-defying creation of life for monetary gain. These contexts, and use of different form and technique contrast, resulting in differing values that are nonetheless linked in their valuing of the natural world.

Both composers have been strongly influenced by the contextual issues prevalent at their time, and this influence has undeniably shaped the values and meaning presented, with both similar and different values conveyed which, in the end, are united through the Composers comparable stance on the value of the natural world, and humanitys relationship with it and its rhythms. The forms of Film and Prose fiction differ greatly in terms of the techniques available to the composer in order to shape meaning and the response of the responder, but both Huxley and Scott have undeniably utilised such techniques effectively to present texts which ultimately achieve their purpose; to convey a strong value of humanities relationship with the natural world, and to shape the response of a responder, no matter what the responders own context may be.
 
Last edited:

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Arrhhh, sorry, the post took my indentations away
but you can still see where a paragraph ends

EDIT - Ok I put a line between each paragraph to break it up a bit, make it easier to read ya know.
 
Last edited:

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Originally posted by Azn fairies
im happy to maark it as well.... i might post mine up as well
thanks, and good idea, i'd also be happy to provide my opinion on your work

Originally posted by Newbie
your diction is very good
why thankyou
 

Newbie

is a roflcopter
Joined
May 17, 2003
Messages
3,670
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
im jealous :p
what does non-diegetic mean?
 

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Originally posted by Newbie
im jealous :p
what does non-diegetic mean?
Diegetic sound is sound that you would normally hear in the process of what is happening on screen, eg sounds of rain if it is raining on screen
So non-diegetic is sound which does not naturally belong in the context of what is happening on screen - such as music (as long as the music isnt a direct part of what is happening on screen)
 

timmii

sporadic attendee
Joined
Nov 9, 2002
Messages
928
It's very good, so bear in mind these are really minor, nitpicky criticisms just to make you think in the "how do i make it even better" kinda way :p

Try breaking your stance/information into smaller points. Those were 2 enormous blocks of text and under time pressure, messy handwriting and lots of little books you need to be able to paragraph a bit more and its sometimes easier to come to a clear conclusion and emphasise your point if you have *obvious* sign posts as to what your main points are.

Think about it this way, if you were given that topic and had 5 mins to write out a essay skeleton, what are the points you will write down? Those points should then represent paragraphs. let the reader clearly feel the structure and development of the argument. Think about the thousands of essays being marked, make it easy for the marker to follow what you're trying to say!

It's clear you have a good understanding and knowledge of the texts and contexts, but I think that you really need to clarify what the actual values the various composers are trying to perpetuate.

What about the natural world and humanity do Huxley and Scott value? How do you know this/why do they feel this? (remember the context of the unit - always relate back to the wild whether it is explicitly noted in the question or not!)

Your quotes storytell or describe, rather find something that cuts to the essence of what each is trying to show. FOr instance in BR, think about how the replicants are more human than the humans - not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. What is Scott implying? For BNW - what does Mustapha Mond feel has been sacrificed, what are the justifications. If "the savage" is the medium by which Huxley argues his view, what does he feel is important (think of what John wants - love, shakespeare, religion etc...what do these signify???). Whats the significance of a "savage" being the conduit between the World State and our own existence and set of values?
 

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
thanks a lot timii, thats a very helpful reply

Try breaking your stance/information into smaller points.
Yeh i thought about this, and my main motivation for not breaking the body up into 4 paragreaphs, instead of 2 was that i was trying to hold together a semblance of synthesised structure, and yeh i didnt really end up synthesising very much within the 2 paragraphs (except at the end of them, really), so do you reckon i may as well dump the half-assed synthesis idea and just go with all out, 4 separate pghs? Do you reckon they want synthesis for module A?

Your quotes storytell or describe, rather find something that cuts to the essence of what each is trying to show.
agreed. that needs a bit of work i think

If you were marking this essay, what mark do you reckon it would get?
I'm looking for around 18/20 for the actual exam

thanks timmii!
 
Last edited:

timmii

sporadic attendee
Joined
Nov 9, 2002
Messages
928
it's my pleasure :)

Unfortunately I have no way of being able to tell how it was marked, so i don't want to guess and throw you off. I think its really got the makings of a good essay, you clearly know your stuff, you just need to make it more concise and powerfully stated so as to more explicitly show the marker - yes i know this stuff, but i also know what the question is asking...:)

AS for the synthesis - synthesis does not mean enormous blocks of text, it means integrating your ideas so that they flow and a logical argument is developed. It is ok to have several paragraphs, it is better that way! From memory i did this essay with a few separate paras on what BR values/how shown then a few paras on what BNW values/how shown. Then a couple of paras on comparing the different values and relating it to the different contexts and media and then a conclusion. My paras were quite short i think, but it made it easier to follow what i was trying to say when i start stressing about it being *the* exam ;)
 

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
Unfortunately I have no way of being able to tell how it was marked, so i don't want to guess and throw you off
no worries
AS for the synthesis - synthesis does not mean enormous blocks of text, it means integrating your ideas so that they flow and a logical argument is developed.
yeh, i get what you're saying, thanks again!

out of curiosity, how did you go, marks wise, for the exam? Do they tell you what mark you got for each essay, or an overall mark?
 

timmii

sporadic attendee
Joined
Nov 9, 2002
Messages
928
They don't tell you your marks for each essay or even for each english paper! Hehe i remember being briefly annoyed because ironically, i'm pretty sure i lost my marks on AOS! :p I got 91 for the exam(s) and 93 as my HSC mark because luckily i was ranked first and had my assessment marks lift me up! :p
 

FadeToBlack

lonely sunday friend
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
435
Location
jesus
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
93....thats excellent
I could only dream

Another question - Say i made the improvements to my essay suggested by you, and memorised it, do you think it would have enough meat, textual detail, and flexibility to provide a good response to (most) questions they could ask?
Because at the moment i'm thinking that the question could focus on the main characters ie Deckard and John the Savage... Now if a question like that came up i could probably manage Deckard ok, but i know little of John - and this would be a problem

So if i learn and memorise a key scene or two for both Deckard and John, along with their significance, importance in the conveyance of values bla bla bla, (which im gonna do anyway) would this, paired with my knowledge of everything i put into my essay, provide the basis for a good response to any question they may ask?
 
Last edited:

timmii

sporadic attendee
Joined
Nov 9, 2002
Messages
928
I didn't realise I'd actually typed an essay on this, but here's one i did. Let me know if you have any questions about what i wrote etc. I think i did this pretty early on in the peace so it's one of the dodgier ones i was writing, but should be useful still :p

Enjoy! :)
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top