pushed him too far away?? (1 Viewer)

[bumchumchic]

ok. so there was this guy that i really liked. and to put it short. i was scared to like him in fear of getting hurt. i know he kinda liked me back. but was too insecure or scared? to believe it. i tried not to take things srzly coz hes the type to always muck around and say things that i dont know if he means.
so i decided that i shud try not like him. stay away, distance myself. it was hard to tho coz we became really good friends durin the year.. and i started liking him even more.

now im scared that ive pushed him to far away.,, i dont know if it worked, me trying to not like him, but things have jsut gone really wierd. i really want to talk to him, and tell him how i feel coz im not one to share my emotions. but for the last few days he hasnt been talkn to me.. i made him upset and i dont exactly know why, and i dont think i WILL kno why anytime soon, coz im too chikn to talk to him in person coz he brushed me off b4, and hes not responding to my letter..

tell me if what i did was wrong, pls someone. im so stupid. what kinda of person pushes away the one they like.. why do i hav to make things more complicated?.. sorry. just had to get this out...

 

[SweetSeasons]

ring him n tell him

 

[bumchumchic]

wow that reply was quick =) sank you..

i did the other day. but he hung up on me.. .

 

[SweetSeasons]

then forget him... no boy is worth your tears and the one that is wont make you cry.

he sounds like an ass if he wont give you the chance to explain your self

 

[Pace_T]

ok. so there was this guy that i really liked. and to put it short. i was scared to like him in fear of getting hurt. i know he kinda liked me back. but was too insecure or scared? to believe it. i tried not to take things srzly coz hes the type to always muck around and say things that i dont know if he means.
so i decided that i shud try not like him. stay away, distance myself. it was hard to tho coz we became really good friends durin the year.. and i started liking him even more.

now im scared that ive pushed him to far away.,, i dont know if it worked, me trying to not like him, but things have jsut gone really wierd. i really want to talk to him, and tell him how i feel coz im not one to share my emotions. but for the last few days he hasnt been talkn to me.. i made him upset and i dont exactly know why, and i dont think i WILL kno why anytime soon, coz im too chikn to talk to him in person coz he brushed me off b4, and hes not responding to my letter..

tell me if what i did was wrong, pls someone. im so stupid. what kinda of person pushes away the one they like.. why do i hav to make things more complicated?.. sorry. just had to get this out...

wow i was in a situation almost identical to that. except of course i played the role of the guy. well its not entirely over yet

 

[davin]

give couple days, try again, then accept. drawing out does no good

 

[Dreamerish*~]

wow that reply was quick =) sank you..

i did the other day. but he hung up on me.. .

What a sookpot.

Ask him what you did wrong the next time you see him in person. If he's not going to tell you, then forget about it. His temper resembles a 3-year-old too much for a relationship to work.

 

[wanton-wonton]

wow that reply was quick =) sank you..

i did the other day. but he hung up on me.. .

Sounds like he needs to grow up.

 

[Serius]

ok. so there was this guy that i really liked. and to put it short. i was scared to like him in fear of getting hurt. i know he kinda liked me back. but was too insecure or scared? to believe it. i tried not to take things srzly coz hes the type to always muck around and say things that i dont know if he means.
so i decided that i shud try not like him. stay away, distance myself. it was hard to tho coz we became really good friends durin the year.. and i started liking him even more.

now im scared that ive pushed him to far away.,, i dont know if it worked, me trying to not like him, but things have jsut gone really wierd. i really want to talk to him, and tell him how i feel coz im not one to share my emotions. but for the last few days he hasnt been talkn to me.. i made him upset and i dont exactly know why, and i dont think i WILL kno why anytime soon, coz im too chikn to talk to him in person coz he brushed me off b4, and hes not responding to my letter..

tell me if what i did was wrong, pls someone. im so stupid. what kinda of person pushes away the one they like.. why do i hav to make things more complicated?.. sorry. just had to get this out...

Wow. Yeah something similiar once happend to me, and i always wondered what the girl was thinking, so thanks for giving me that opertunity. But now iam a little older, and hopefully a little smarter and maybe i can help you to makesure you dont loose
a) a good friend you were pushing away
b) an opertunity at a meaningful relationship

so like, you were pushing him away and you wondered why he was upset at you and didnt walk to talk to you... well heres what i would be think.

washed hands. Thats right, hes washed his hands of you, he is thinking " she doesnt even talk to me, fuck it she isnt worth my time" and you pretty much brought that on yourself, and once he is thinking that sort of thing, there isnt much you can do, just hope he opens up and gives you another chance.

The only other way to save what you had with this boy is pure honnesty. Cry on his shoulder if you need to, completely explain everything and how it happened and why you chose to do what you did.

I always feel that if you understand another person fully, you can never hate them. People might wonder "Why did that bully beat up on me" Well if you understand his childhood you can sort of see the emtional damage whatever i digress

explain yourself to him if you can, if he stil ldoesnt want to talk your best ebt is to leave him be, and hope that years down the track you can bump into him and ask for coffee

 

[Casmira]

ok. so there was this guy that i really liked. and to put it short. i was scared to like him in fear of getting hurt. i know he kinda liked me back. but was too insecure or scared? to believe it. i tried not to take things srzly coz hes the type to always muck around and say things that i dont know if he means.
so i decided that i shud try not like him. stay away, distance myself. it was hard to tho coz we became really good friends durin the year.. and i started liking him even more.

now im scared that ive pushed him to far away.,, i dont know if it worked, me trying to not like him, but things have jsut gone really wierd. i really want to talk to him, and tell him how i feel coz im not one to share my emotions. but for the last few days he hasnt been talkn to me.. i made him upset and i dont exactly know why, and i dont think i WILL kno why anytime soon, coz im too chikn to talk to him in person coz he brushed me off b4, and hes not responding to my letter..

tell me if what i did was wrong, pls someone. im so stupid. what kinda of person pushes away the one they like.. why do i hav to make things more complicated?.. sorry. just had to get this out...

wow you know that can be set so different from the perspective of a guy, he can take it totally different .. as hard as it sounds you must be totally open and tell him

you know if girls have same mentality as you do that'd explain this one girl i know of ...

 

[davin]

i've noticed that i'm the only guy in this thread that hasn't had this happen to em once. dang.

but yeah, full honesty best policy

 

[Serius]

ok iam gonna explain this to you so you girls can see it how us guys would see it

so like you fully snubbed him and made yourself distant from him
his thoughts are going to be well, he knows you arent friends [what kind of a friend doesnt even talk to you] he knows you dont like him [even though you do, he doesnt know this and from your actions like ignoring him he is going to think this]

so basically he is thinking " i dont give a fuck about her anymore" because you arent friends and you dont like him

so once that has happened, mentally his hands are clean, he has no reason to talk to you cause you arent a friend, he knows what you are like so he doesnt want to be friends even if u have a change of heart, he knows you are insecure so a relationship isnt going to happen

i know once i have reached this point, thats it you are pretty much not in my life anymore, its not a hate thing, i doubt he hates you he just doesnt care about you, he is idifferent about you. Like i have done this before, i am sure most of us have had to let go of someone atleast once in their lives, wether ex-partners or whaetever and thats just how it works.

and i might add, once i reach that point there isnt anything you can do to make me care anymore, my hands have been cleared of you so writing letters[although i will read them] calling me[ i will talk but dont expect me to be too enthusiastic] talking to me in public[once again, not ignoring exactly but not into the convo]

i dunno what else, painting me a picture maybe? that might work but i am hoping this guy is alot more forgiving than me, because if he isnt he pretty much doesnt want to have anything to do with you anymore if he can help it, sure he still has to see you at school or whatever but he doesnt have to talk to you, and after school you will never see him in your life again because he wont give a shit enough to keep in contact...

so like, if you can break through that shell maybe you can reach him but in my experience there are only 2 things that will break through

complete honnesty and an explanation of why you acted the way you did, followed by an opertunity at a relationship[unlikely but make sure he knows you still like him, and the offer is still on the table]

or some sort of overwhelming show that you still care, you havent ignored me, like a painting, a flower, some sort of sign you know what i mean?

anyways i wish you the best, but incase it doesnt work out please next time, dont play stupid games with boys, cause we are more likely to just drop the bat and walk off home.

 

[santaslayer]

I'd have to agree with Serius. You're the one that alienating yourself. Don't expect him to know how you're mind works.

 

[bumchumchic]

hey guys
i just want to say thank you, esp you serius, for taking the time to reply =)
this is my first post, n didnt think i'd get anything back
thank you for the 'other perspectives', i reallly needed it
really really just want to say thanx. i <3 you all for it
i think im going to talk to him tonight...
i hope i dont freak. and can let it all out..
thankyou again xo

 

[Cykologi_gal]

First of all, there's no respect or security in this relationship. If he respects you, then he would tell you what's wrong and he wouldn't be so closed up about it. If you felt secure, then you would've trusted him in the first place...Did you actually avoid him for a while??? Anyway, now, don't write another letter or message asking him what's wrong, but ask to see him in person again. Any relationship needs that kind of courage. Don't be afraid that he'll refuse - maybe you can change your tone, your expression of words etc etc...When you're together, tell him the truth (why you were distant), it might hurt him, but for whatever reason he's not talking to you, he needs and has the right to know the truth. Then he might tell you that he mightn't have been playing around and that's why he's hurt...If it's an entirely different matter that ahs caused him to close up, then still ask to see him and try to work things out. Communication is the key to every relationship. He's very weak right now for whatever reason and trust me, deep down, he actually needs you to be there for him. It's the "guys don't show emotions" reason that's keeping him quiet. Keep calm and work through your problems one step at a time. Good luck.

 

[datAsianGuy]

youll be right mate.... like what everyones been sayin. just stick with it...not getting obbsessed or stalking or clingy... but just patiently waiting for him to finnaly realise what hes missing out on...

 

[Gavvvvvin]

i made him upset and i dont exactly know why,

so i decided that i shud try not like him. stay away, distance myself.

i know he kinda liked me back.

You sorta answered your own question.

 

[minushuman]

i really want to talk to him, and tell him how i feel coz im not one to share my emotions.

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