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Rebecca1234

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i agree that loving someone and being in love with someone is totally different. i also agree that a relationship needs some distance, spending everyday together will only cause for u both to get sick of each other and furthermore will be led to fights and almost breaking up!! ... jus chill ... i have a Q sorry to break the tjhread question but do u believe that love jus comes as a feeling or u have to be with someone for a certain time to experience of fall for them. Cheers
 

alby

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Rebecca1234 said:
i agree that loving someone and being in love with someone is totally different. i also agree that a relationship needs some distance, spending everyday together will only cause for u both to get sick of each other and furthermore will be led to fights and almost breaking up!! ... jus chill ... i have a Q sorry to break the tjhread question but do u believe that love jus comes as a feeling or u have to be with someone for a certain time to experience of fall for them. Cheers
its a feeling, but it takes time to develop a real feeling of 'love'
 

azzie

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But how do you know when that feeling is a "real" feeling of love??

Tackle the hard issues here people!
 

RiCkiE

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azzie said:
I don't know why, but the idea of ALWAYS wanting to be with someone is kinda scary. I mean, wouldn't you want your own space? Wouldn't you get sick of that person eventually?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but anyone can feel free to chip in
Maybe when you're in love you love everything about the person - even their faults. And even if you spent the rest of your life with the person it wouldn't drive you crazy. But not to such extremes like you can't spend one second without the person; that's just wierd.
 

P_Dilemma

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Actually, it's quite easy.
.
.
.
...because love doesn't really exist.

-P_D
 

AsyLum

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azzie said:
Okay well I've been asking this one for a few days now, but I thought I might as well post it here to see what replies I get.

How do you know something is love rather than simply lust, infatuation or familiarity?
The closest i've gotten to love is the feeling you get when you can just free yourself of inhibitions and of all the things that restrain you, and just expose your darkest, deepest self to another person with the full knowledge they won't fuck you up.

Don't think i've felt 'true' love yet, and i'm under no pretense that it'll be like that in the movies.
 

azzie

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Well I'm dating a guy who wouldn't say he was "in love" with me if his life depended on it!

I wonder about that, are there some guys out there who wouldn't use the term "love" at all?

I mean, I don't know if I believe in love, but I guess I'd use it eventually, if I was convinced.
 

AsyLum

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azzie said:
Well I'm dating a guy who wouldn't say he was "in love" with me if his life depended on it!

I wonder about that, are there some guys out there who wouldn't use the term "love" at all?

I mean, I don't know if I believe in love, but I guess I'd use it eventually, if I was convinced.
I was naive and kinda felt obliged to return the "I love you" thing when in fact I felt or knew that I wasn't in love with my ex. Even now, I don't think I could say I was 'in love' with someone until well into a relationship, I think most things start with an attraction, then a like/courting period, then you have the relationship to find out whether or not they're someone you can stand over an extended period. For most people, I think the feelings develop around this time, rather than the cliche movie experience where you suddenly fall into each other's gazes and sparks start in your heart. I think some may call it cynical but its the realistic look at these things and I agree, you don't tend to invest your emotions into things as much as if you thought otherwise.

For a few, there are exceptions to every rule of course, but thats just my understanding.
 

Skeeta

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azzie said:
Well I'm dating a guy who wouldn't say he was "in love" with me if his life depended on it!

I wonder about that, are there some guys out there who wouldn't use the term "love" at all?

I mean, I don't know if I believe in love, but I guess I'd use it eventually, if I was convinced.
"in love" with you.. or anyone?

my best mate insisted that love was a higher sort of thing. Love was when you've been married for 25 years and still have the same feelings for each other. So yes... some people either dont believe in it, or feel differently about it.

That being said, this very boy admitted to me last week that he was in love, and had been for a while.

So opinions change. Dont take it to heart.
 

RiCkiE

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P_Dilemma said:
Actually, it's quite easy.
.
.
.
...because love doesn't really exist.

-P_D
What does -P_D represent? :confused:

And i know quite a few people who can't say the L-word...including me. But you have to remember just because they don't say it doesn't mean they don't feel it.
 

quik.

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P_D would probably represent the initials of his nick.
 

RiCkiE

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quik. said:
P_D would probably represent the initials of his nick.
ohhh right. I thought it was one of those faces like O_O or something lol. Well spotted...
 

Lions_Fist

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azzie said:
Well I'm dating a guy who wouldn't say he was "in love" with me if his life depended on it!

I wonder about that, are there some guys out there who wouldn't use the term "love" at all?

I mean, I don't know if I believe in love, but I guess I'd use it eventually, if I was convinced.
It really depends whether you see a difference in 'feeling loving feelings' and 'in love' with someone.

I do see a big difference. I've done the whole "i <3 you" crap, but I don't really think in most relationships that it is ever considered to actually mean to be 'in love' with someone. I have loving feelings for most of my friends, but that again doesn't mean I'm 'in love' with them.

Truth be told, most people just don't find saying "I really like spending time with you and I think you're a great person, and I really enjoy dating you." as romantic when alone with another person, as saying "I love you".

As for the 25 year marriage thing... well that's just wierd. There are couples out there that have been together that long, and only really stay married because they are of that era where getting a divorse just isn't right in their own minds.

Love isn't something that suddenly someone can say "Ohh wow! I'm in love with person X!". It's a gradual build-up of a series of emotions that continues to develop and be nurtured as the love grows. Ohh and for all you people out there that are still in that whole "But what about love at first sight?" phase, that's just crap. It's where two people have some feelings for each other and then develop more for each other as they get to know them better. You aren't born loving someone until one day when you finally meet them.
 

quik.

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I wouldn't say 'I love you' to someone simply because what you really feel is a tad more awkward to express.

Sort of a cop out in my opinion.

My first girlfriend said she loved me, and I didn't say it back. She kept pressuring me to, like it was expected. When I did say it, the whole thing was pretty empty and sort of a turn off, and I ended up breaking up with her shortly afterward.

I don't think it's too hard to explain to someone that you don't yet feel that way, however you think they're and amazing person.

Unless, of course, you are trying to simply 'hook in son'...
 

Lions_Fist

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quik. said:
I wouldn't say 'I love you' to someone simply because what you really feel is a tad more awkward to express.

Sort of a cop out in my opinion.

My first girlfriend said she loved me, and I didn't say it back. She kept pressuring me to, like it was expected. When I did say it, the whole thing was pretty empty and sort of a turn off, and I ended up breaking up with her shortly afterward.

I don't think it's too hard to explain to someone that you don't yet feel that way, however you think they're and amazing person.

Unless, of course, you are trying to simply 'hook in son'...
I think it kind of highlights the problematic issues with overusing the word 'love' these days. The fact that everyone uses it so much, it feels so inadequate to actually describe any feelings...

Probably seen more when couples have always done the "i love you" crap over and over, and then you actually try to describe to them how much you actually feel for them.

"I love you!"
"Yes I know, you've told me that every day for the last 2 years."
"No no... but I LOVE you!!`1~!~11!!~one~!~!!!~11`1!"
 

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