Regarding relationships (1 Viewer)

[Davo1111]

Biggest mistake teens will ever make.
...
Dont help or advise her of anything relating to a personal or relationship problems. Its a nice-guy trap, destined for you to be placed in the lets-just-be-friends category. Then she'll call you when she needs consoling, while f*cking some other guy and probably telling you all about it.

fair point, but once they ask you one thing (before you even respond)- you're already 80-90% on the way to the friends zone.

 

[Optimus Prime]

it also depends on how you treat the girl. Not all girls want sex. Guys should also learn that while you're interested in a girl its best to look for other qualities other then the physical ones. Girls don't like to feel used/like a tart.

lies. all girls love being treated like whores. It's in their nature.

 

[AkaiHanabi]

lies. all girls love being treated like whores. It's in their nature.

And all men love to be treated like pussywhipped bitches. It's in their nature.

 

[scarybunny]

Nah pretty sure that's the go to excuse for pretty much every whinging, clingy dude out there. Being a nice guy does not have to equal being a pushover.

Ladder theory also sounds (from what I've read in this thread) like a joke.

I dunno, man, it's pretty accurate for some things. It's a good "why doesn't she like me" explanation most of the time.

 

[Shoubadoo]

Let me ask you something. Be honest. Ever used someone some kiss ass guy as your emotional tampon?


​

No. I don't surround myself with kiss-ass guys.

I have friends to tell my big emotional problems to. Some guy friends included. Guys who I know have zilch interest in me.

The whole "that's something you need to talk to one of your girlfriends about; I'm not good at that and have no interest in getting better" thing you'd say to a girl so she wouldn't use you as her 'emotional tampon,' would turn me off any sort of relationship, whether it be friend or boyfriend, with a guy, and many girls I know would feel the same way, unless they were looking for a screw, in which case no emotional chit-chat is involved.

You can have a girl tell you her emotional shit, and end up going out with her, without her using you as an emotional tampon. Sheesh. That's all part of relationships- you can tell your partner all your troublesome shit and still get laid.


That whole ladder theory is so highschool and so dodge, I must say.

 

[SurferNerd]

You need to whip out "Double your Dating" By David DeAngelo or an old classic would be the '48 Laws of Power' by Robert Green.

Or check out my other thread. In absolute summary, girls don't want a 'nice guy'. They want a masculine man. A man in control. Some one self-assured, confident, someone they have to 'work' to get control of. Girls look for power, this will be denyed but its true. If you have money, a very prestigious occupation, a strong social circle or very good looks then these are things which intrinsically attract women. If your a pussywhipped bitch from the beginning, the woman will only ever toy with you. You provide no chase or sexual interest.

Best advice, if your going to root a chick it needs to be within a short period of meeting them, with minimalist conversation. After the sex is done, then you can 'maybe' pursue a relationship.

 

[null-result]

ah this. this again.

my story (spans over 4 years):
became best friends with my best friend's (2M) girlfriend (1F)
i started going out with (1F)s best female friend (3F)
(1F)-(2M) break up
(1F) hangs out a lot with me
(3F) gets jealous
i cut back on seeing (1F) even though we dont really do anything
(1F) goes out with one of my best friends (4M)
i break up with (3F)
i see (1F) a lot
(4M) gets jealous
(1F)-(4M) break up
(1F) now just hangs around with me a lot.

and the bottom line
(1F) refuses to go with me because it will be 'too weird'.

ladder theory lives on.

 

[wrong_turn]

Nah pretty sure that's the go to excuse for pretty much every whinging, clingy dude out there. Being a nice guy does not have to equal being a pushover.

Ladder theory also sounds (from what I've read in this thread) like a joke.

being a nice guy doesnt mean being a pushover. but then your not exactly completey a nice guy anymore. your a nice guy who can sometimes be a jerk. note that i did not mention any other combination. those guys who are only a nice guy to the girl find that they will be that guy who gets their balls cut off for most of the duration.

and though my post was somewhat on the side of whinge whinge, well from my experience of being a nice guy. it does not work. again that previous post was my 2 cents. take what you will from it.

and ladder theory is piece of crap.

 

[Serius]

Its your fault for acting like a door mat and being used. Theres a way to do it properly, you can give advice, but dont give into unreasonable demands. Talk about their problems with them as you would any other male friend, but dont bend over backwards for them, if they start demanding shit then they are seeing how far they can push you and if you are a doormat. If you act like one, dont be surprised when they use you to wipe their feet

Sometimes love grows out of the seeds of friendship, but if you are befriending her with the intent of scoring you are being deceitful...

What you described is exactly how girls relate to their friends, they talk about their problems, they NEED to talk, and usually some of the biggest problems will revolve around their significant other.

The psychology of males and females can be very different, this things that they tend to do that are totally different to us, either because of society or because of different chemicals in our brains[usually a combination] for example when girls bitch about their problems, often they dont want you to give advice and solve their problems [dump him!] they just want someone to listen and say stuff like "i know! you are right! what a jerk!" and be a shoulder to cry on.

When guys talk about problems its not usually because we need to get it out but because we are looking for advice or for a sounding board to work out some stuff with.

If you want her, dont try and be her friend it wont work, but if you want to be her friend then some of that stuff is bound to happen.

 

[wrong_turn]

or even if you do get into a relationship. you're still not in a relationship but in a very very close friendship with side benefits.

its important to make that distinction from the start of when your pursuing the girl. haha im a hypocrite. its not as easy as it sounds i guess, though important

 

[Azamakumar]

Its your fault for acting like a door mat and being used. Theres a way to do it properly, you can give advice, but dont give into unreasonable demands. Talk about their problems with them as you would any other male friend, but dont bend over backwards for them, if they start demanding shit then they are seeing how far they can push you and if you are a doormat. If you act like one, dont be surprised when they use you to wipe their feet

Sometimes love grows out of the seeds of friendship, but if you are befriending her with the intent of scoring you are being deceitful...

What you described is exactly how girls relate to their friends, they talk about their problems, they NEED to talk, and usually some of the biggest problems will revolve around their significant other.

The psychology of males and females can be very different, this things that they tend to do that are totally different to us, either because of society or because of different chemicals in our brains[usually a combination] for example when girls bitch about their problems, often they dont want you to give advice and solve their problems [dump him!] they just want someone to listen and say stuff like "i know! you are right! what a jerk!" and be a shoulder to cry on.

When guys talk about problems its not usually because we need to get it out but because we are looking for advice or for a sounding board to work out some stuff with.

If you want her, dont try and be her friend it wont work, but if you want to be her friend then some of that stuff is bound to happen.

Thanks Dr Phil, any more advice in your bag?

 

[stazi]

O Rly?

Well I would like to no one guy that ever got laid by being a girls doormat.

I had a best female friend, and who I'd listen to bitch about stuff who I ended up dating. So ha. Actually two such cases. Well one was dating, the other making out. So ha.

 

[dcalla]

I had a best female friend, and who I'd listen to bitch about stuff who I ended up dating. So ha. Actually two such cases. Well one was dating, the other making out. So ha.

Thanks smart ass, then your not completely ugly.

I had that happen to me twice - never ended up to be a successful relationship, probably due to immaturity.

Grow the fuck up with you "so ha" shit btw.

 

[stazi]

Thanks smart ass, then your not completely ugly.

I had that happen to me twice - never ended up to be a successful relationship, probably due to immaturity.

Grow the fuck up with you "so ha" shit btw.

ha.

 

[skynet89]

ha!