Returning back to comprehensive school from selective school. (1 Viewer)

[srsly_br0]

I joined a selective school this year from a comprehensive school.

And I hate it.

I'm finding it quite difficult to adjust in this school- my social life was perfectly fine back at my old school (basically I'm saying I'm not antisocial).
I may have made new friends and reconnected with existing friends who had been in the school already, but there are people in this school who do not make it worth staying.

I've heard of people here who have returned to their old school because they hated their new one so much- I feel like I'm one of those. I need some advice. Thank you.

 

[SpiralFlex]

Could you outline what aspects of this school you hate?

 

[Blue Suede]

if it's getting you down and impacting your mental health, then move back.

But if your marks are improving and you're learning a lot, it could be worth staying.

Really comes down to what your priorities are.

 

[srsly_br0]

Could you outline what aspects of this school you hate?

There are only a few that are getting to me, but I think I'm starting to feel that these annoyances grow on me the more I think about them.
- Most notably, really douchebag-y people. I mean, they're not being douchebags to the fellow new guys, I feel it's specifically to me only, and I have no idea why. Examples include making fun of my name and purposely using up my resources just to piss me off (I think). I am also aware of a couple of people sharing rumours about me. And I have no idea why. There are more but these pretty much get to me a lot of the time, even though you may think they are trivial matters.
- Another aspect includes losing my existing friends here because of my "anti-socialness". But I don't wish to expand on this any more, sorry :/

There are more but I think this will do

if it's getting you down and impacting your mental health, then move back.

But if your marks are improving and you're learning a lot, it could be worth staying.

Really comes down to what your priorities are.

Could you please elaborate on 'mental health'? I don't quite understand that.
I certainly have learned a lot here so far, my marks have been pretty good from the very few assessments that I have had, but there is still that underlying feeling of not wanting to go to school because of this. I even over exaggerated being sick a few days ago just because I didn't want to be at the school. I felt like I reached a new low.

 

[Blue Suede]

Could you please elaborate on 'mental health'? I don't quite understand that.
I certainly have learned a lot here so far, my marks have been pretty good from the very few assessments that I have had, but there is still that underlying feeling of not wanting to go to school because of this. I even over exaggerated being sick a few days ago just because I didn't want to be at the school. I felt like I reached a new low.

that is not good mental health.

 

[LoveHateSchool]

Hmm it sounds like a difficult situation at play here with pros and cons.

I'd say my overarching advice is that you will likely do better at a school you feel happy and supported at, even if it is a comprehensive over a selective. However, I think you will really need an introspective look at what is causing you such bad mental feelings atm, if it it is just the new school or something more intrinsic within you.

It always takes time to adjust to new places, and can feel really draining and overwhelming even though you may not pin your emotions on it at the time.

Think carefully about it, you've got to balance academic priority with life priorities here.

 

[TheEntrepreneur]

stick with it, they will eventually get bored and if they don't fight back, mess with them mentally

 

[Capo]

Maybe some of them are just joking around. I'm in the same situation as you and there always will be those douchebag-y people no matter where you go to. Just make new friends, don't overthink these things and don't let it get to you !

 

[OMGITzJustin]

nah man, dont bother sticking with it trust me, move back now. I moved back too, and I know a reeeealy good mate who moved back to my school as well (he returned after leaving in year 10, from year 7) and I came back for year 12 after leaving for year 11.
took my school for granted and didnt realise how much I actually enjoyed it, and what I had untill I left it all...

 

[WeaselPowa]

Damn you sound like your in the lows ): . In my opinion, I would say move back to your comprehensive school. Enjoy life! And as for the academic bit, as long as you do well for the HSC, your fine ^^

 

[Michelle Lin]

I know most people aren't a fan of 'dobbing' bullies in but most schools will boast about a 'zero tolerance policy' on their brochures and in their orientation day speeches. You can use that. Bring out the big card of 'duty of care' if they aren't doing a satisfactory job with dealing with your bullies. What do you want to do after highschool - if you need a high atar consider staying at the selective school but if you need an average mark or low then get out of there.

Trust me, skipping a couple days to avoid bullying may turn into serious depression then both your mental health and your academic marks fall dramatically. A friend of mine is in the process of going through 'mediation sessions' with the school vice, counsellor and her bully to sort shit out. The worst outcome? The bully continues, you report them again and then they get suspended. They'll avoid you after. You live on without them.

Also, feel free to talk to your school counsellor, kids helpline, etc. They can give professional advice regarding taking care of your mental health.

 

[tattoo2200]

Leave you school if you feel uncomfortable and go back to your old one. The old one may provide you with a better social atmosphere and thus you aren't as stressed and you would perform better. No worries those guys are dickheads may i ask what school you go?

 

[JohnMaximus]

Gotta say, I can see why they're targeting you.

You care too much. (Change school because someone pronounced your name wrong?)

It makes you susceptible to bullying. They go for you because you're weak, they're childish meaningless attacks actually affect you. Brush it off, no-one has hit you. I understand psychological bullying is as bad as physical bullying but you can just close your ears to it, ignore it and stick with the people who are nice to you, if you ignore them long enough, they'll leave you alone, maybe they'll be your friends one day. Take the attitude that you want to be friends with everyone, or you want everyone to be friendly to you.

Remember not to say something stupid, "I don't care what you say, I'm ignoring you", that's a response.


Seriously, your parents are paying 20k a year for you to have an enriching education/childhood/whatever and you're wasting your time thinking about some bullying, which if you think about, is probably tame.

 

[jadiskris]

I actually had a chance to go to a selective school twice but decided to let it go on both accounts because I was scared of such situations happening to me. Rather than worrying about my academic achievements first I knew that no matter which top selective school I went to if I was feeling down and unsatisfied with the environment I wouldn't be able to perform at the best of my ability. As a result I stayed back at my old comprehensive school and I'm doing fine both socially and academically right now.

My advice would be if the situation doesn't improve you might want to consider going back.
However I will recommend this if you're in the middle school phrase, if you are already in year eleven or something I think it'll be better to just suck it up for another year.

 

[unforlornedhope]

If the people and environment are really affecting you, go back to your old school. In the end is your well being that matters and that's what makes you perform well academically.

I knew a few people who went to comprehensive schools and still get an ATAR of 99+.

Also, I knew this friend's friend who moved to a selective school in year 11 and 12 in order to get a high ATAR, but she didn't enjoy the environment and people. She ended up getting an ATAR lower than the people whom she out do back in the comprehensive school she attended.

 

[nerdasdasd]

You don't need to go to a selective for a high atar, so go back to somewhere more enjoyable

 

[unforlornedhope]

You don't need to go to a selective for a high atar, so go back to somewhere more enjoyable

+1

 

[planino]

Keep in regular contact with your real friends so that you know that at least some people are there for you If you haven't already, maybe you can talk to them about this ordeal. Otherwise yeah, depending on your priorities, you can choose to change schools if you wish.

You may want a high ATAR, but it's not worth risking your mental wellbeing as a low-ish ATAR will likely only temporarily impact you (fuck societal expectations) but you sacrifice your mental, you may not recover from it.

 

[planino]

*mental state