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Rules for Customers (3 Viewers)

klh

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i dont work (yet!) but im sure this could be added: (for shop like woolworths)
Kids dont shake the bottle of soft drink and open it!!!!!! It sprays. Note that this kid opened it and sprayed some over me.
 

tomorrows_angel

tomorrow is too soon...
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here's my additions (sorry if i've repeated any anyone else has said):

Woolies:- Don't come in and expect to buy all my change off me, i need it more than you do.
- don't complain to me when the supervisers are slack and take forever to get your cigs, you can go to the front counter and get them yourself!
- don't demand that i call the superviser cos your lightbulb scans through one cent more than it's sposed to, and i can't change stuff on the system anyway. It gets rounded down, don't be so freaking cheap.
- don't give me dirty looks when it's busy and i'm on my break: if i don't take it when they tell me, i won't get it at all, it's not my fault you all flock in here at once.
- don't stand around near our back entrance accosting the next staff member who comes through about stuff in the meat department... go ask the meat boys, you can see them!!! they're not going to cut you up into little pieces with a cleaver (unfortuantely).
- don't expect us to want to touch the things that your little kid/baby has been chewing on and drooling all over for the past hour.
- don't return meat 3 months after it has gone off and tell us it was off when you bought it. That's freaking revolting, and it stinks!
- don't yell at me for putting more than one thing in each bag.... seriously one box of tissues isn't going to cause the bag to break. Stop wasting plastic!
- don't stand there in front of me bitching about how you have to wait so long cos they're aresn't enough staff. YOU THINK WE DON"T FREAKING REALISE THAT?!?!?! tell the managers, they don't listen to us!

Myer:
- don't give me 50 items of kids clothes and then at the end tell me you want to take off the first, i have to cancel the whole freaking transaction! And don't complain to me about how it's customer unfriendly, WE KNOW!!!
- don't try and return things which have been worn, with no tags and no receipt, we won't take it back... ewww!
- don't think you'll get away with switching the tags for $120 esprit top with the $17 special, and don't act innocent when we say something and yell at us when we won't give it to you for that price.
- don't tell us what the law is about signage... we have enough arguments with idiots everyday saying they found something on a certain rack and expecting it for half price.
- don't put one thing through the registers and say you're going to get something else, you'll be back in a sec, then come back in half an hours time and wonder why we're pissed off, or get pissed off with us when we cancel your transaction (applies to woolies too).

ok, i think that's enough of a rant for today...
i'll prob think of more to add to this list.
 

Skeeta

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express maccas's ONLY sell Cheeseburgers (and junior burgers), Double Cheeseburgers, BigMacs, Nuggets and the new taste thingos

i used to get asked about 15 times an hour "can i have a mcChicken meal"

umm unless you want to walk 10 minutes to the next maccas.. NO YOU CANT! Its not on the MENU!
 

Generator

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Mentioned or not, oh well... Coles.

1. We are there to serve, yet we are not slaves. Treat me like shit, and I will smile/smirk and move along, whether you believe that I have been helpful or not.

2. The service can only be provided whenever the relevant staff member is on shift and when the stock is actually available. If for some reason the staff member, stock item or both are unavailable, try not whinge about us being there to provide a service as we do not care. We will take down your details so that the 'problem' can be dealt with as soon as possible, but that is about it...

3. If you turn up to a supermarket after regular trading hours, don't expect everything and everyone to be on call. Supermarkets (suburban stores, anyway) still seem to be geared towards the stay at home parents (and those without a job), however annoying that may be.
 

Sabbo

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Target

I have to say the majority of peole who come up to the sound desk are very nice but there are still 3 rules (i can think of at the moment):

The almighty one: Do not ask if we can locate items on the computer.

1) There is no computer in Soundbar
2) Even if i was to walk to the Manager's Office and log onto the system (which can take VERY long) it won't tell me WHERE the item is located. It could be out the back, in refunds, layby, or in some random spot on the shelves where it doesn't belong...in short...don't bother.

The second (as already mentioned before); don't talk on your mobile while I'm serving you

The third (assuming all stores have the same setup as mine): Don't queue on the BACK of the counter for purchases. The registers are located on one side of the counter for a reason...GREAT you're paying credit but I still need you to press OK to verify the transaction.
 
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iamsickofyear12

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Retail Bedding & Deliveries

1. Measure your room before you get there so we don't turn up and have you say 'oh well I thought it would fit there but I guess it'll have to go somewhere else"

2. When you say you are going to be home, be there so we don't turn up to deliver something and have to ring you to find out where you are.

3. Look at the height of the bed before you buy it so we don't turn up and have you say 'oh thats very high' - And especially don't expect the bed refunded or exchanged because of you're stupidity in not measuring. Fortunately the owner is nice and will mostly help you out, but if it was me I wouldn't be doing it.

4. Do not complain about inconsistenices in the stain of the furniture. It's wood, it doesn't stain consistenty. If you want a solid colour, buy something plastic or painted.

5. When you say you are going to pick something up, pick it up when you said you would cause it's there waiting for you and if you don't come get it it's in the way.

6. Don't expect us to take your old bed away if you didn't tell us beforehand. We don't have unlimited space in the warehouse.

7. If you live in a 3rd story unit with no lift, or have a staircase that it is impossible to get a bed up, tell us beforehand. - Once I had to lift this bed on top of the truck and then over the balcony to get it in the bedroom cause it wouldn't fit up the stairs. Obviously there are some occupational health and safety issues with this, and I am never meant to do it again.

8. Waterbeds are heavy, don't expect to be able to move them even if you could move the other ones you have.

9. New stuff smells. Don't ring up and complain that your new bed smells.

10. Turn on the fucking air conditioning, or open up a window or something. How do you expect us to work when its a thousand degrees in your house.
 
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- no, you can't come in and sit your ass down in the cinema when i haven't finished cleaning it yet. wait outside with everyone else, you lazy fuck. and don't poke your head in the door every thirty seconds asking if you can come in yet.
- don't call me by the name on my nametag. it's creepy. i don't know you, and most of the time i'm wearing someone else's nametag because i forgot my own one anyway.
- we don't have frozen coke? big fucking deal. your waistline is grateful, really it is.
- don't stand in the queue for half an hour, then get to the front and not know what you want.
- and especially don't wait for half an hour, then dump a bunch of silver change on the counter and ask 'what can i get for 45 cents?'
- no, really, they're all the movies we're showing. actually, we have three more secret cinemas playing all kinds of movies, we just don't want you to know about it.
- don't bitch at me at paying seven dollars for a ticket. go to the city and pay 13 dollars, then come back and complain. in the mean time, shut the fuck up you cheapskate.
- don't order 30 dollars worth of food, pay for it and then stand there with an expectant look on your face like you want me to carry it for you. you can have a tray, make multiple trips, whatever.
- when i'm asking you what flavour choc top you want, i mean THE FUCKING ICE CREAM ON THE INSIDE, NOT THE FLAVOUR OF THE CHOCOLATE ON THE TOP! ohmygosh that's my pet hate. do you really think we have boysenberry flavoured chocolate on the top of vanilla ice cream or something? and don't get pissy because we don't have your favourite obscure rum and raisin gasoline toothpaste ripple or whatever the fuck you want. it's not baskin robbins!

.. i have some job issues. don't mind me.
 

iamsickofyear12

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katietheskatie said:
- no, you can't come in and sit your ass down in the cinema when i haven't finished cleaning it yet. wait outside with everyone else, you lazy fuck. and don't poke your head in the door every thirty seconds asking if you can come in yet.
- don't call me by the name on my nametag. it's creepy. i don't know you, and most of the time i'm wearing someone else's nametag because i forgot my own one anyway.
- we don't have frozen coke? big fucking deal. your waistline is grateful, really it is.
- don't stand in the queue for half an hour, then get to the front and not know what you want.
- and especially don't wait for half an hour, then dump a bunch of silver change on the counter and ask 'what can i get for 45 cents?'
- no, really, they're all the movies we're showing. actually, we have three more secret cinemas playing all kinds of movies, we just don't want you to know about it.
- don't bitch at me at paying seven dollars for a ticket. go to the city and pay 13 dollars, then come back and complain. in the mean time, shut the fuck up you cheapskate.
- don't order 30 dollars worth of food, pay for it and then stand there with an expectant look on your face like you want me to carry it for you. you can have a tray, make multiple trips, whatever.
- when i'm asking you what flavour choc top you want, i mean THE FUCKING ICE CREAM ON THE INSIDE, NOT THE FLAVOUR OF THE CHOCOLATE ON THE TOP! ohmygosh that's my pet hate. do you really think we have boysenberry flavoured chocolate on the top of vanilla ice cream or something? and don't get pissy because we don't have your favourite obscure rum and raisin gasoline toothpaste ripple or whatever the fuck you want. it's not baskin robbins!

.. i have some job issues. don't mind me.
And for you...
- Don't say I can't take in a pizza cause it smells, so does popcorn.
- Don't tell me to stop sliding up and down the rails.
- Don't have a big sign saying 'cheese popcorn' when you don't actually have any.
 

soha

a splendid one to behold
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unpack the items out of the basket when you come through to the chekouts
dont just dump it there..and watch me struggle to take things out and pack them nicely

try and keep things together..cold together
laundry things together
fruits and vegies together
nothing shits me more when everything is just chucked on the belt..piled up..and you expect me to go through it all trying to pack your bags so things stay together

when i scan your items and put them in a bag and give them to you..just get the fuck over it and take the bag..dont say "oh i dont need a bag"..and empty it out and give me a bag that i just chuck out neway...


dont throw a pizza base at our head when the express line is too long and storm out complaining you have been waiting half an hour when in actual fact its been 5 minutes
its not our fault
we are not understaffed
there is just alot of customers.
 
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iamsickofyear12 said:
And for you...
- Don't say I can't take in a pizza cause it smells, so does popcorn.
- Don't have a big sign saying 'cheese popcorn' when you don't actually have any.
1. we just say that because we want you to buy our stuff. you can't take mcdonalds into a restaurant, right?
2. serves you right for wanting cheese popcorn. anyone actually wanting to buy cheese flavoured popcorn should have their ticket confiscated, be castrated and then publicly beaten up outside the front doors.
 

Invalid

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Hooker...

dont touch my arse before you hand me the $50...
dont tell me oops it split, when you withdraw.. the abortion costs more than $50
 

townie

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1. suprising as it is, woolworths doesnt give us the power to magically enter in prices for products, without us getting into a lot of trouble, wait for my supervisor to come over.
2. just because the item doesnt scan, dont crack the joke (haha, it must be free)
3. dont break open a six pack when theres ALREADY SINGLE BOTTLES RIGHT NEXT TO THE SIX PACK
4. I dont set the prices, dont complain about them
5. most of the time, if u dont see anybody else, yes, I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE LIQUOR DEPARTMENT.
6. No, u cant take ur grog over 2 the supermarket.
7. Dont try get a refund for the full price wen u paid for it with a 10% discount
8. Dont tell me my EFTPOS machine isnt working when ur trying 2 scan ur card upside down and back to front
 

Atticus.

how do i get out of this
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RULE NUMBER ONE
FOR ALL JOBS!

**********
no i do not want to hear your life story and how you have been coming to bermagui since you were 9 and now you 67 and no i definatly do not care that you are here for you sons wedding and i dont care that his name is brad and hes a top fisherman and i dont really give a fuck that you think john howard is a good primeminister

in general unless i know you i am not your friend. i dont care to hear what happened to you on the weekend ESPECIALLY when there are sevenhundred and sixt four people behind you waiting to be served.

EDIT: if you presume to tell me all this, yes i will cut out your tongue with a spoon so it hurts more then proceed to deep fry it, put it with some chips, vomit blood on them and then give it to you. $8.90 Thankyou
 
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waterfowl

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Subway (not for my benefit, but for those poor people who have to work there):
1. Read the damn signs "Pay Here" does not mean "Order Here", and vice versa!
2. Don't talk on your mobile whilst ordering; the person serving you has to ask a question ever 2 seconds, I think your friend can wait just two minutes!

Myer:
1. Don't put all your crappy discount clothes on the counter in a massive heap, and just stand there watching me sort it all out
2. Don't you DARE say "oh that one is 75% off", I KNOW!!! If you keep your cheap little eyes on the screen, you will see that I have marked it down...look at the register, it isn't exactly a super computer!
3. If you put your clothes down, telling me they are all from the 75% racks, all that tells me is that your cheap...only in very rare cases will I not know if they are 75% off
4. Read the signs! If it says "20% off a great range of..." that means a "range of...", not 20% off everything from this brand, or 20% off everything on this rack!
5. I don't care if you think FlyBuys are a waste of time, a simple question "Do you collect FlyBuys?" requires a simple answer - "Yes" or "No" - not "no I don't, it's a waste of time, you never get anything out of it"
6. Don't ask your friends if they collect FlyBuys, I asked you!
7. If you think a price is wrong...don't wait until after you have signed the EFTPOS slip, handed over the cash, or keyed in your pin to tell me
8. Don't expect me to just believe what you say, I have to know myself if something is marked down
9. Do you see a computer anywhere near the counter? No? Well then don't ask me to check if we have a certain Toy on our computer, when we clearly don't have one....again, look at our registers - they're archaic - do you really think we have a computer that tells us where all our stuff is, in our department?
10. If you ask me to go out the back and check if we have something, don't get all pissed off that it takes me a while - if you want me to try and find something for you, it's going to take me some time to try finding it for you!
And most importantly:
11. Don't be rude! If you're rude to me, I won't be nice to you, and will help you in the slowest and most hesitant fashion
12. Don't bea pig! If you take clothes off the rack and try them on, put them back on the hanger (at least!) and back where you found them - we already have plenty to do already without having to pick up the pile of clothes you've tried on!

Myer Phone Customers:
1. Don't give me your whole story about why you are ringing me and want me to help you! Just tell me what the hell it is you want (politely of course), and I will do it for you...don't waste my time.
 
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Panda Bear

arab chicks? :|
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ha.

today was funny :D

this old asian man came in to ask "can you get me XYZ printer cartridge under there please?" -- kinda rudely.

Printer cartridges used to be kept at where i work, i.e. the help desk. but now they've been moved to a more secure location where you have to go and look for them yourself.

anyway, me and 2 other team members were standing around him.

my reply to his first question was "no, their not here you will have go under InkWorks to get them"

he goes: "No, they are under there"

and then all 3 of us go: "NO they are under Inkworks"

he goes: "oh, they were here" and walks off...

bahahahahahaa... i was bursting to joy...

one of the rules:

1. don't tell us what to do and where the fuck things are. we tell you wehre to go and where the fuck things are. you don't work here. we do. fuck off.
 

_muse_

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heres my rule about the new wish gift cards...

- yes, you have a wish card. that really does make you so cool you have to stand there flaunting it like its some kind of diamond ring your trying to show your ex boyfriend.

- REMEMBER HOW MUCH IS ON YOUR GOD DAMN CARD!! I dont HAVE to go over and ring up the stupid number and check how much is on your card, so dont demand me to do it or i wont. Just because you say there was $50 on it, doesnt mean there still is after youve already bout $25 worth of stuff on it... dont yell at me when it declines.

- when u are asked for the pin number and i show u wat it is. Dont act all dumb like you've never put a pin number in before. Its a 4-digit number. Its right in front of you. Its not that difficult.

- when theres no money left on it, dont start with the "oh HAHAHA can i keep that? im sure my 1 month old baby would love to play with that in 6 years time HAHAHAHA oh you are TOO KIND!!". i dont give a shit what you do with it. For all i know u could take it home and somehow get off on it.

- NO you CANNOT deposit more money onto the card once it has been used. Dont come to my register, demand to deposit more money onto it, and then abuse me when i tell you you cant do it. Its not a fucking cuecard. Its a gift voucher in the form of a card for fucks sake.



OK im done - again
 

iamsickofyear12

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katietheskatie said:
1. we just say that because we want you to buy our stuff. you can't take mcdonalds into a restaurant, right?
2. serves you right for wanting cheese popcorn. anyone actually wanting to buy cheese flavoured popcorn should have their ticket confiscated, be castrated and then publicly beaten up outside the front doors.
I repeatedly ate Hungry Jacks in Mcdonalds and no one said anything.

Once I went to a movie, and about 10 people around me and myself had all differents kinds of food, kebabs, oporto, maccas, it was quite funny.
 

kirabolton

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- If your filthy enough to smoke don't just think you can walk up and we'll serve you straight away, especially when there is a queue full of people who have been waiting much longer than you.
- If you say you haven't been given your change and we count up the register but it's not over there is NOTHING we can do about it, the manager will tell you exactly the same thing.
- If we miss a reduced to clear sticker on something and it scans for it's normal price don't try and tell me you get it for free, you could have TOLD me it had a sticker on it.
- When you want a refund i'll give you one but i don't want to listen to a huge story about why you want it, i have better things to do.
- If your too old that you can't hear or see or walk don't expect me to be pleased when you hold up the queue for 15 minutes because i have to constantly repeat what i say.
- If you buy some grapes which are already in a plastic bag don't act all annoyed when i ask if you need a bag, logic tells me that you don't but if you want to keep wasting plastic, fine, just don't treat me like an idiot.
- JUST because i work at a supermarket doesn't mean i'm a high school drop out.
- Don't expect me to be happy when you waste my lunch break asking me stupid questions, i'm obviously on my break piss off.
- If you don't want an item tell me so i can put it back ESPECIALLY when it's something that needs to go back to the fridge or freezer.
- If you don't put the bar thing between orders on the converyer belt and i accidently scan some of your order in someone else's don't get pissy at me, if you had reached a little to the left you could have made sure i knew!
- Don't just stroll up to the counter 10 minutes after we were supposed to close and act like it's your right to be there, we want to go HOME!
- I HATE people who want a refund on something because it's like 2 cents more expensive than they thought.
- I HATE people who put all their items down then run off to do the other half of their shopping.
- Do not call me darling, sweetie, honey, baby, anything like that because one day i'll crack and punch you in the face.
- I do not control the volatile price of ciggis, so what if they go up 5 cents overnight? And furthermore i don't CARE!
- Don't tell me 50 billion different types of ciggis you need and expect me to remember them all.
- Don't act all annoyed when i ask you if you need a bag, i say it to everybody, i'm not picking on you, if you need one fine, put your small little purchase in a bag and piss off.
- Yes, we ARE a crappy supermarket and never have any big bags, i'm sorry for the inconvinience, if you bought some of those nice big cheaps environmental bags you wouldn't have a problem!
- If i'm counting up a register the person is obviously going home, that along with the trolley blocking the road, the closed sign means this register isn't open. And i'm sorry if it's busy go somewhere else if you don't like it, this person has been here for hours and doesn't care if you need to buy something quickly.
 

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