Rules for Customers (4 Viewers)

[kloudsurfer]

Its June. We do not have any christmas trees. And even if we did, I wouldnt know, because clearly I am working at the other side of the store in FOOTWEAR!!!!!

We also do not sell fruit. This is BIG W not WOOLWORTHS!!!!!

 

[katietheskatie]

dude it's september

 

[*Minka*]

There will be Christmas Trees up soon - don't you worry.

My Birthday is September 30 and every year without fail, I see a Christmas Tree or display before my birthday in a store. They will be there very very soon.

 

[kloudsurfer]

Yeah it is now. Somone asked me that in June.

 

[xoxo]

i dont know if all of these have been said before but here we go:

1. Dont start swiping your credit card BEFORE i have finished scanning your stuff - it WILL NOT WORK and dont get pissed at me because it wont

2. Sometimes you may have to swipe your card more than once. If after the first time it doesnt swipe dont sigh/glare/sulk at me with your hands on your hips and complain that the machine doesnt work. chances are it will work the next one or two swipes - and it will not kill you to try

3. if i dont know the code for something and have to look at it on the roll telling me that it was 99c a kilo WILL NOT HELP ME AT ALL

4. If you have a green bag GIVE IT TO ME. i dont mind packing them but i DO get pissed off when i have already finished packing the plastic bag and you then expect me to repack it

5. I dont know whether the cigarettes are 1mg, 5mg or supermild - IT DOES NOT SAY IT ON THE PACKET!! all it will say is 'Winfild Gold 25" or whatever and dont be suprised when i say i dont know

6. No i do not know if the pink and green Huggies nappies will be on special in the next 6 weeks HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?? i work on the checkouts!!!

7. do NOT call me by my name. i dont know you and dont want to know you.

8. dont stare at my nametag for five minutes and then call me Katrina/Katherine/Kate/Kelly instead of KATARINA

10. Dont call me baby, gorgeous, love etc etc - especially if you are a girl

11. Dont stare at my boobs

12. We only have three checkouts, its a small store, it ISNT my fault that you all decided to shop at the same time.

13. Sometimes the supervisor may have to come from the back to help you do not complain to me if he is a bit slow

14. READ THE FUCKING SIGNS! if it says any two smiths chips packets for $4, dont question why a smiths packet and a thins packet doesnt come up as $4 for both as well

15. telling me that soemthing is 3 for $2 isnt going to get you anywhere - if its on the computer it will come up - if it isnt well tough luck

ok thats it for now

 

[chelzmalee]

If I ask you if you want cash out, and you say no, I will put your sale through onto the EFTpos machine, do not then begin to swipe your card and say "oh, actually I'll have $50 out" whilst you are putting in your PIN, it's too late fuckwit. Tell me when I ask.

DO NOT say "that's on special"- I don't care! If it is, it'll come up.

Don't mispronounce my name, or tell me your daughter is also named Chelsea, but it's spelled Chelsey/Chelsie/Chealsy... My name is spelled like the soccer team, like the place in England. So fuck off.

If I ask you how you are, don't say "up shit creek, no paddle". I don't give a shit, I'm paid to ask you.

Don't overuse my name. Eg "Hi Chelsea, how are you Chelsea, I'm good thanks Chelsea. That's the lot today Chelsea, have a good afternoon Chelsea"... It's creepy.

 

[scarybunny]

I don't mind when customers try to be funny or sociable. I hate it when they just grunt their order, ignore my questions and shove money in my face.

Or when I'm on pour up and they just grab their drink and leave, without even looking me in the eye or acknowledging my 'have a great day'.

I love nice customers. Just a note, if you're nice to your server, your drink will be better.

 

[oOFallenAngelOo]

Agreed - I like serving happy, nice customers! I work at the Concierge Desk at a 5 star hotel/casino.

Rules for the guests:

1. Do I look like a fucking receptionist/reservations chick? NO therefore NO I cannot check you in/out, nor can I make a booking or reserve a room for you, and no I do not know the different rates and room types because it's NOT MY JOB TO KNOW. Go to Reception.

2. I'm going to offer to take your bags whether you have 1 or 50 because that's my job... If you have a small bag and it's on wheels take it yourself - we're here to assist/help and if you need HELP/ASSISTANCE... if you have 50 how bout you give me a hand and stop standing there like a lazy f*cktard?

3. When the hotel is at 100% occupancy and I'm just starting my 4am shift and drunk dickwits are coming in after a big night out reeking of alcohol... NO available rooms means NO available rooms! We're here to make money (even if we charge you the highest rate coz you're so drunk you can hardly stand up) but we can't give you a room if we don't have any available!

4. When the Spring Races are on don't even think you can get a room without booking like a year in advance... the chances of your success are about as likely as me becoming an highly regarded mathematician (i.e. never EVER going to happen)

5. Again, on my 4am shifts... I am extremely tired and have probably had about 3 hours sleep - I am not going to find it amusing when you stupid drunks try and a) put your arm around me and ask if you can flirt with me; b) try and hug/kiss/whatever me or c) propose to me or ask if I'll be yours for the night... I am NOT in the mood. Tip me and you might get so much as a smile. Other than that just let me delivere my newspapers in peace.

6. The doors lock after 12am for security reasons and for YOUR BENEFIT - don't press the doorbell 50 times at the connecting doors to the casino side of the complex, and wait for me to walk all the way over there before you read the sign telling you to use your key!

7. Yes you must wear a swimming costume of some sort in the jacuzzi. Please, for your sake, for the guests' sakes and for mine!

8. Please do not fall asleep, NAKED on the chair in the hallway coz you locked yourself out of the room when you drunkenly mistook the front door for the bathroom door... it is not a pleasant sight for me to start my day when delivering the newspapers at 4:30am... ESPECIALLY if you are a male in his late 40s!!! (But if you do, please do me a favour like the last guy and make sure your legs are CROSSED when you pass out!)

9. When we have 95 departures and probably about 80% of these rooms need help with their 100 odd bags each, and need their cars brought up, and they're all family and had a wedding reception the night before and there's only myself and a guy on his 2nd shift because the roster was f*cked up, NOW IS NOT THE TIME to enquire about the 100 different tours you want to go on because I will tell you where you can go stick the tour brochures that you don't bother to read anyway!

10. We can't do EVERYTHING... we can try our best but if I can't get the phone number to some overseas music channel and you don't know what channel it is, just because you want to hear your 'favourite' song... too f*cking bad. Wait a while, most of those shows tell you their numbers because they want you to call - they get commission for it. Have a bit of patience I have more important things to do. Like polish my trollies (lol).

11. Indians... learn the meaning of 'travelling light' which does NOT mean 5 bags per person each weighing about 40 kilos each (!!!!!!!) Also we are not your slaves, don't treat us like we are while shouting in our faces and bobbing your head in every different direction.

12. Americans... learn to f*cking READ. And stop asking how far away everything is... if it's further than 10 minutes away it's too far. And btw Aussies tip better and tipping is not even a major part of our culture (as it is in yours!)

12. Chinese... PLEASE do not spit on the stairs at the entrance. Or anywhere for that matter. It is so f*cking disgusting.

13. Yes I'm a girl and I'm doing this job for 2 reasons - because I want to, and because I can (and thirdly... it's damn good pay!) Sure it's nice when you guys refuse in a very gentlemen-like way to let 'a girl' carry your bags... but it's my job, it's hard enough for girls to get these jobs simply for that reason! (Trust me, my boss told me that one). And ladies, I CAN do my job so don't tell me that you'll need a 'guy' to lift your oh-so-heavy make-up cases because I wouldn't be in this job if I couldn't do it.

14. Do not rock up with 14 BIG BAGS between the two of you on a day where everyone arrives at once and I'm the only one on and then not help me. In fact, don't bring 14 bags at all! You don't need them for a 2 night stay!

15. When you book a taxi or limo BE THERE ON TIME... the drivers crack the shits at us when YOU'RE not there on time, and then YOU crack the shits at US because you took so long they just left.

To the Staff

1. Reception - we are not your slaves. Don't make us run around like chooks with our heads cut off doing all your little tasks you cbf doing yourself when we've got our OWN jobs to do. Do what you're being paid to do, I'm not getting paid to do your job.

2. VIP services - in the time it takes you to tell us about the tours/limo bookings/car hire that YOUR VIP guest wishes to book, and the miscommunication and misunderstandings about what EXACTLY they want, and then the time it takes to correct and re-correct any errors in the process, and THEN for me to call you back and confirm that everything is booked and find out they want to cancel their skydiving tour and they don't want an audi convertible anymore because they've decided a holden statesman is sufficient.. you could have called up the companies and had everything sorted and finalised yourself and when the guests call you for information/cancellations, you don't have to call us to ask us and then call them back because you can speak Japanese and I can't. Oh and I don't f*cking care about those 2 bags sitting at the door for your big spending VIP casino player because he was too lazy to take them up to his room when I've got all my normal guests arriving at once (including the 14-bag couple!) whom I am not going to drop for the sake of 2 bags.

3. Guest Services - You do shit all during the day anyway apart from stand there and look pretty (and most of you can't even do that) so how bout you help us out a little and STOP PALMING OFF the few guest queries you receive to our desk! We have enough to do already!

I'm sure there's plenty more I can add to this extensive list however my brain's turned to mush in this lazy study vacation week off uni and I can't think of anymore at this stage.

Contrary to the tone of my post I actually really love my job... just don't like idiot/'posh'/f*ckwit guests (or staff) that we in the hospitality industry too often come across and have to serve with a smile! Treat me with the same respect I treat you!

 

[mrzeidan1]

Work in a seafood restaurant

1. Don't ask for chicken burgers
2. Don't ask for fried rice
3. We do not sell oil
4. Don't say take-away, and then eat on our tables anyway.
5. If the sauce was free, there would not be a sign saying SAUCE 20c EACH on top of the basket of sauce

 

[dieburndie]

1. The prices, complete with printed product description, are not wrong. Please don't tell me that they are, and ask to see a manager when I tell you they aren't.

2. It's not a given that coles sells any particular variety of clothes. There is a valuable lesson here - do not buy clothes at coles.

3. Please don't throw canned food at me.

4. I don't know what vitamins will make you "right as rain" after "a night on the piss", mr gross 50 year old guy.

5. I'm sorry I couldn't get your chicken kebabs in the bag quick enough, you filthy redneck father and daughter assholes. That was no reason to yell at me for half an hour and throw the kebabs at me, then complain to multiple managers. I'd never worked in deli before (and won't ever again, that department is fucked)

6. If you aren't nice to me, I won't waste my time looking for whatever you want out the back, I will just do a lap and tell you it wasn't there.

7. Don't ask me for milk when I'm working in fresh produce.

8. Shut up, stop being so fucking shit all the time. The song you are singing sucks.

9. Asian convenience store guy, please don't buy all the coke that's on special. Then I have to deal with angry customers wanting coke.

10. Old whistling guy- stop whistling.

11. MOST IMPORTANT- Learn to fucking parent. If you don't know how to raise children, stay away. Do not scream at or beat your children in the store, or let them touch me. I hate your kids. They aren't so special to everyone else.

 

[scarybunny]

I think a lot of people tend to forget that they too once had jobs at the bottom of the ladder, and how they bitched about people who treated them like shit.

So when they get to a point where they can boss someone around, they throw their weight around. Treating people nicely means they'll go to greater lengths to do a job well, whether they're employees or people handling customer service. People need to learn that just because they can order someone around, it doesn't mean they should be a total dickface.

Do unto others, everyone.

 

[Wallyhead]

6. If you aren't nice to me, I won't waste my time looking for whatever you want out the back, I will just do a lap and tell you it wasn't there.

Damn straight. It is also a good time to go to the toilet!

There is a rule... No Layby on Clearence Items. I dont care if you rang up yesterday and "someone told me i could" It is the rule, i have told you this four times now, there is a rather large yellow sign at the layby counter and it isnt going to change because "I have driven XXXX to get here". Yes i will get you the manager and yes they will tell you exactly the same thing, dont act suprised when they do.

Dont complain when we have sold out of a catalogue item. Dont say "what is the point of advertising them if you havent got them". When the catalogue came out, we did have them. People saw this advertisement and bought them. If something is half price, dont come in on the last day of the sale and expect it to still be here, other people have already come in and bought them.

If you are wanting a large item from out the back, like a BBQ or Bike, make up your mind before i get it out for you. Quite often these things are very heavy and stacked where it is almost impossible to get out, if i am going to the effort to get it out for you, make sure it is what you want.

If you have asked me to look out the back for something, then please wait for me. If i say "I might be a couple of minutes" then i might be a couple of minutes. I am doing you a favour by going and looking out the back, dont just leave because i have been a couple of minutes. Usually if i am taking a while it is because i have found what you want but cant get it out easily. If i couldnt find it, i would have been out and told you so earlier.

 

[scarybunny]

After we've closed the doors, we're closed. Yes, there are a couple of customers in here, but once their drinks are made they're out. Don't try to sneak in, we kind of know you're there. Don't tap on the glass either.

We have no wheatgrass today. Yes, those are trays of wheatgrass up there. No, we're not cutting it just so you can have a shot. That grass still needs to grow. Go lick a lawnmower, it tastes the same.

Please speak up, I can't hear anything over the blenders.

 

[townie]

Please dont come in on sunday and expect us to have all of the past 6 days specials, they were on for 6 days b4 u came in so people bought them, no, it isnt false advertising i'm sure at LEAST one of the 1000 of stores in NSW have stock, just not us, so FUCK OFF YOU OLD WRINKLY BITCH (and u OWB if u really cared so much u would have complained to the Dept. of Fair Trading by now, and clearly u havent, so GO AND DIE BITCH FUCK YOU DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

 

[glycerine]

5. I'm sorry I couldn't get your chicken kebabs in the bag quick enough, you filthy redneck father and daughter assholes. That was no reason to yell at me for half an hour and throw the kebabs at me, then complain to multiple managers. I'd never worked in deli before (and won't ever again, that department is fucked)

omg, I had that happen to me (kebabs and all). seriously tho, that's assault, if people throw stuff at you you can refuse to serve them; tell them to talk to the duty manager or whoever if they have an issue with it.
soooooglad I'm no longer at coles.

I have annoying customers at the bar, but the weird thing is even when I'm tired and stressed out nothing makes me REALLY angry like it did at coles. maybe I haven't been there long enough (but I always hated coles, hmmm). also cos if someone's pissing you off you can more or less ignore them and serve other people first

 

[Nashie]

1. If you have just won a fucking plasma, a beer fridge full of beer and some recliners (grand final competition), don't bitch to me about the recliners, I can't do anything you need to speak to my boss, she is not here right now and if you had said it straight up when you first came in instead of making up some bullshit story you would have been able to talk to her! I did not ruin your grnad final and the dickhead bitch whore you have tagging along should not complain about the service when I have just left customers hanging who would be buy stuff to listed to your bitching!!!! Be happy with the plasma and the chairs you got!!!! Arrrrgggghhhhhhh....

2. I am a person, yes I look young but that is no reason to doubt everything I say you stupid person (at this stage I was the 2IC)

3. When I say it will be 6-8 weeks it will be 6-8 weeks

4. If you will not buy without know exactly how long it will take don't waste my time, it all depends on when the suppliers makes your item and the transport comapnies! I have no control over this stuff

5. If you are between 13-15 don't act so suprised when I come sprinting over screaming at the top of my lungs for you and your homies to get out because I have seen you jumping on a 5 and a half thousand dollar leather lounge! and don't jump on all the lounges on the way out! Go home to your pregant 12 year old girlfriends and caravan!

6. If I am on the phone don't bother asking me questions as I am busy and will not hear you

7. electrical is under the big neon sign that says "electrical"...

8. If you are a stuck up public servent (I work in canberra) don't winge and chuck a tantrum when the finance companies won't give you money

9. If you and your girlfriend are making out on our lounge suites I will ask you to leave

10. the massage chairs say 18 and over, it is on a sign in big bold underlined letters and numbers!!! It means 18

11. If I say "about 30 seconds more on those massage chairs folks" it means get the fuck out, your lucky I didn't kick you out the door straight away because you look like whore and make sounds like them and swear a lot in front of people who won't buy with that sort of language being thrown around

The end for now...

 

[*Minka*]

The store closes at 6pm. That means 6pm. Do NOT expect to come through my register at 6:15pm and demand price checks and yell at me about how it is A PRIVLIEDGE to serve you. Fuck off.

 

[jamiedumas]

At the movies

If you decide you have to vomit after stuffing your fat ass with all kinds of crap, then please visit the bathroom. Do not vomit into your soft-drink cup and leave it on the seat, me or one of the other ushers has to clean that shit. If your good intentioned and decide to visit the toilet to do what you need to do, do not get half-way and then decide to vomit in the trashcan closest to you or on the carpet, it fuking reaks and all the money I get paid isnt enough to catch whatever diseases your fat ass is carrying when I clean up after you. If your that fat, stupid, lazy and sick stay home and rent the DVD. Youll save money too!

 

[jamiedumas]

Despite what you punk-ass "fully sick" certain members of the community might think Im one of the few staff members who isnt afraid of confronting you so dont think you can try and get yourself into my cinema for free. You will be read the Riot Act and the security/cops will be called. Also (as what happened the other week) dont bring weapons cause security and the cops will kick ur ass.

 

[Lori.]

At the movies

If you decide you have to vomit after stuffing your fat ass with all kinds of crap, then please visit the bathroom. Do not vomit into your soft-drink cup and leave it on the seat, me or one of the other ushers has to clean that shit. If your good intentioned and decide to visit the toilet to do what you need to do, do not get half-way and then decide to vomit in the trashcan closest to you or on the carpet, it fuking reaks and all the money I get paid isnt enough to catch whatever diseases your fat ass is carrying when I clean up after you. If your that fat, stupid, lazy and sick stay home and rent the DVD. Youll save money too!

omg i once picked up a vomit cup it was sick!
Then this other time this guy came out of the cinema and he asked if we could give him a cup or some other container, so we told him that it all goes into stocktake and we could only give him a lollybag or a box (as in packaging box), anyways it took us like 5 minutes to find him a small box when he told us that its for his kid to puke into. So he stood there for 5 minutes waiting on a box instead of just taking his fucking kid (who was still in the cinema) out to the fucking loos!

Everytime i have to clean up vomit, i let out a not so quiet comment questioning why parents feel the need to stuff their children with 5 litres of coke and a kilo of maccas and why they think it would actually stay down...