Rules for Customers (4 Viewers)

[live_without_it]

- dont pull the old "hey, i gave you a $50", when i know you gave me a $20.

how do i know? because there are no $50 notes in my cash drawer... so what happened to your magic $50?

dickhead.

fuck off and die!

- dont sit under the drive thru window, smoking and chatting to your friends. you will be told to move, because its both dangerous for you, the other cars trying to use the drive thru, and its damn annoying having your smoke and shitty conversation come into the store through the window.

- if, for some reason, im not at the counter and no one else is around to serve you... dont stand there silently. i dont know you're there if you dont make noise, politely cough, say excuse me, or something...

 

[hipsta_jess]

If you are so inclined as to ring up and complain about me, please wait until the bitch of a store manager is back from holidays. Otherwise, you will get the uber-nice store 2IC, and he is too nice to have to put up with your shit. Besides, he will probably stick up for me and make you feel like crud. Oh, wait, you *are* crud.

Believe it or not, but we actually don't care whether or not you ever shop here again. As part of the Coles Myer conglomerate, we really couldn't give a toss. We make plenty of money, and even John O'Reilly couldn't care less, because of the joy of market share. In fact, you not shopping here will make the experience much better for everyone. Please leave.

No, we do not control the price of cigarettes. The cigarette companies do. Please do not complain about the ever rising price of cigarettes (even though Winfield have gone down!!). If it concerns you that much, then quit.

Please do not come in and ask what size condoms you should buy for your BROTHER. Its just wrong.

Please do not stalk members of staff. If you continue, we will be forced to ban you from the store and report you to police. This especially applies if you are a 13 yr old skanky ho who won't leave one of my mates alone.

Please do not complain to me about other departments. See Nicole, shes the dairy/freezer manager. Bob, well hes grocery. Peta is produce, Paul is meat and Stacy is delicatessan. If you have an issue with any of these departments, go talk to them, because there is nothing I can do for you, and I may just laugh to your face.

If you get to frontend and decide you don't want your purchases, give them to me!!! That way, its much easier for us to dead-stock it, than go hunting around every nook and cranny in the store looking for your unwanted items. This particularly applies to meat and frozen goods.

You're not a pig. Don't act like it.

If it is late at night, and the three front end staff are cracking up, please do not ask us what the joke was. We won't tell you.

As everyone else says, Flybuys jokes weren't funny the first time, they weren't funny this time, and oh my god, guess what? They won't be funny next time either.

Please do not tell me you know how this store works. Put simply, you don't.

Please don't loiter around the entrance to back dock looking for assistance. Chances are, you will be hit with a flat-top loaded with a billion cartons of coke.

If I have finished my shift, and there are none of 'x' product in the freezer on display, and I want it, I will go into the freezer out the back and attempt to find some. For me. This does not mean I am willing for you. It especially does not mean you are welcome to do the same.

Please do not ask me for extra bags. Get the clue, we're cutting down on bag consumption!

If you're feral, please don't come through my register.

Please do not flirt with me to get $500 cash out at 8am. Why? Because the limit is $400, and no, I cannot magically increase it by $100 just coz of your flattery. Why else? Because this is the first time the register has been used today. All 50's are taken out over night, and therefore, even if I wanted to, I do not have $500 in my till to give you. Chances are, even in the middle of the day, I wouldn't have $500 in my till due to the requirement of doing clearances.

To say "Hi, Jess" when I'm working is one thing. Please do not do it on the street, it is just weird.

Please do not hand me your EFTPOS card to swipe. We're not meant to do it, and besides, don't be so freaking lazy!

Scream at me all you want. It just means that every other front ender will hate you for it and give you even more shit service the next time you come in.

 

[sikeveo]

i hate south african customers

 

[ToO LaZy ^*]

i hate south african customers

yeah whats with those people.
every single one of em are so bloody rude

 

[steelite]

yeah whats with those people.
every single one of em are so bloody rude

The rudest l find are the South Americans, then the Brits (who cant even swipe their cards and pick the right option). The South Africans are ok, though amazingly the Americans are pretty good, not much of a hassle though they somehow seem to think we are open 24/7 even though we have a sign at the entrance with all the opening hours listed. Thats what l cant stand about Manly, its full of tourists

 

[townie]

i dont mind swipping customers cards, and 90% seem incapable of doing it themselves so it speeds things up, i do however mind you giving me ur card only to take it back 15 seconds later just cause u couldnt be fucked holding it, espescially wen i end up asking for the card back when u fail to operator the machine properley

 

[ToO LaZy ^*]

The rudest l find are the South Americans, then the Brits (who cant even swipe their cards and pick the right option). The South Africans are ok, though amazingly the Americans are pretty good, not much of a hassle though they somehow seem to think we are open 24/7 even though we have a sign at the entrance with all the opening hours listed. Thats what l cant stand about Manly, its full of tourists

yeah too many tourists for my liking.
these are the type of people i encounter everyday at Manly...

Poms: friendly, well mannered, and maybe even charming (well they gotta have something, coz they sure aint got the looks heh heh)
but 70% of the time, they ask for a pack of Marlbouro Lights when ive completed the transaction.

Amercians: seem to complain about everything, comparing our prices to the prices back at home. think they are top shit and deserve a personal shopper (ie, one of our staff) to carry things for them. 75% of the time, i hear the word "please" when they ask for something

Asians: quiet but efficient. they always have their money out ready for tendering. you would think theyre not really well mannered at first, but when you finish the transaction, youre bombarded with thank yous and byes. oh...and they ALWAYS want their receipt.

Europeans: like to hold up the line by taking forever to get their money/cards out and when i finish with the transaction, they change their mind about something. the guys are always half naked

Aussies: probably the easiest people to deal with. well mannered. hardly any fuss, easy in-and-out, decisive people. 2 thumbs up.

oldies: most interupt me while im serving a customer to find out what are the friggin specials and what are good wines under $10. - take forever to leave the store and hog up the counter with all their belongings.

 

[steelite]

yeah too many tourists for my liking.
these are the type of people i encounter everyday at Manly...

Asians: quiet but efficient. they always have their money out ready for tendering. you would think theyre not really well mannered at first, but when you finish the transaction, youre bombarded with thank yous and byes. oh...and they ALWAYS want their receipt.

Aussies: probably the easiest people to deal with. well mannered. hardly any fuss, easy in-and-out, decisive people. 2 thumbs up.

oldies: most interupt me while im serving a customer to find out what are the friggin specials and what are good wines under $10. - take forever to leave the store and hog up the counter with all their belongings.

Dont agree on asians, some are extremely arrogant and always like staring at the screen like l'm somehow going to double scan it on purpose (if l do its by accident). Though they always love using large notes and the ones who come from cafes or restaurants always come with those bags you put money in with a wad of $50s in the morning piss me off.

On Aussies, on the soccer mums, ever since there were reports and letters etc about how supermarkets double scan, there now like Asians always checking the docket to make sure theres nothing suss while holding up the lines by just standing there.

oldies- Now these guys think their top shit, l could go on and on about them but the one which pisses we off are the ones who want home delivery which wastes too much time for very little gain, l could of processed at least 4 people in the time it takes to put through a home delivery. I remember once, this woman in her 60s gave her green bags which was filled with a couple of wines from Liqourland next door and demands l place 15 items in the single green bag while leaving the wine in there making it extremely difficult, in the end l just put it in a plastic bag, l cbb to try and and stuff everything in there.

 

[glycerine]

dear deli customers,

DEAR GOD YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 5 MINUTES ALREADY. YOU CAN SEE I HAVE A HUGE QUEUE OF CUSTOMERS AFTER YOU. EITHER MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND OR HAVE THE DECENCY TO LET ME SERVE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE SIMPLE DECISIONS.

seriously all day it was like "errrrr spanish salami or danish?" "premium or traditional?"

on top of that i hate you people who come and say "200 grams of ham". considering that between the shaved and sliced hams we have about 12 varieties, it's not helpful. THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING.

also when you want a bbq chicken, stop making me get the one in the front!!! there are plenty of perfectly good ones right in front of me that don't involve me burning my arms.

love,

erin

oh. ps when you are one of the people who had 5 mins to decide then ummed and ahhed and kept adding more to your order as my queue lengthened and lengthened, don't you DARE go and complain to the duty manager about how rude i was by not asking you the intimate details of your day. I DON'T FUCKING HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT.

 

[MiuMiu]

then the Brits (who cant even swipe their cards and pick the right option).

Thats cos in the UK they have chip cards, they don't swipe them. And they don't choose the account either, its automatic.

Debit cards a rarely used in stores either, its usually only credit cards accepted, ATM cards are just ATM cards.

 

[Skeeta]

its not fun to take your order - of 17 drinks, then realise you have no money on you and dawdle to the atm about 15 metres away, when the shop is FULL - and you ask me to make the drinks so they are ready when u get back

i cant do this.. we have order screens, and if you dont pay, the food/drink doesnt appear on them - and no-one makes ur drink

and when u get back i'm not gonna magically remember your order, its been cleared

bah!

 

[steelite]

Thats cos in the UK they have chip cards, they don't swipe them. And they don't choose the account either, its automatic.

Debit cards a rarely used in stores either, its usually only credit cards accepted, ATM cards are just ATM cards.

Pfft, how hard is it to learn to swipe your card after a while, most of the people who actually ask me to swipe the card have in Aus for a couple of weeks or l've seen a couple of times at least.

 

[Serius]

Dear customers who have young children

LEAVE YOUR FUCKING KIDS AT HOME!

do you think Woolworths is a daycare centre? we are a place of business not a place to bring your little fucktard of a kid. Its a shopping centre, its not exactly the best environment for youngns.

The most common problem: Dumbass kids run through the store, cry to mummy if i tell them to stop running, and then i get abused by some dumbfuck soccer mum for "telling off her kids" [ all i usually say is "common kids, dont run you will hurt yourself" sometimes they run, and fall and hurt themselves . even worse is if they run into a display, or knock over some jam jars...motherfucker do you know how hard jam and glass togther is to clean up? then the mothers start yellling about lawsuits and shit....no you dumbfuck, you werent superviising your kids[we shouldnt be in the store anyways] YOU are at fault, not me for not seeing them and telling them to stop running. This is why i always tell the kids to stop running, even if i get abused 9/10 times, knowing i prevented an accident where the kid could get cut up by glass or seriously injured is worth it.

second most common problem: stupid kids screaming and throwing tantrums in the middle of the store. Kids usually crying or making rediculous amounts of noise for no reason. Blank stares from the mother asif to say " i am not making the noise, its the child" NO YOU DUMBASS, YOU ARE RESPOSIBLE FOR YOUR KID! Godamn, i swear sterilisation should be manditory for some people. Now i understand kids sometimes make a hell of alot of noise, i mostly like kids and its natural for them to carry on, but the parent shouldnt be bringing them in here!

do you think a screaming kid is good for business? no its not, and its defintely not good for workers compo when i get another migraine.

this however pales in comparision to what some little bastard did a few weeks ago. She was crying and screaming over some bullshit like a toy, dadm being the good father he is didnt by it for her. Mum for some reason thought it was a good idea to bring baby girl in with them whilst they shop for like 2 hours[ so the kid is ofcourse bored and irritated]
Now as some of you may or may not know, at Woolies we usually put out boxes on the floor in the isles around 7pm[thats another thing, a good parent makes their tyke go to bed at a decent time] so this kid loses it and runs up to al lthe boxes and plastic wrapped bottles in drinks isle and WRIPS OFF THE BOTTLE LIDS! ox she more like unscrewed them....there fizz and shit going everywhere, sticky mess all over the floors and like over a dozen randomly selected bottles spread evenly throughout the isle are lieing on their sides missing their fucking lids.

I Wish right there that the mother had been shot, seriously... I am not drinks guy so i just tried to control my anger, told security to tell them "if they bring in their kid again/ fail to supervise their children, they will be banned from the store" and signed out and left.

The worst problem: this is that little kids often have accidents, i dont blame them i blame the parents

To customers: If your kid comes into our store and SHITS, PISSES OR VOMMITS anywhere you will made to clean up the mess with your tongue, and then ejected from the store. DOCS will be called to collect your kid, i doubt you will see him/her again.

Last shift i am strolling happily down the front of the store to get my trolly full of rubbish and do my favourite part of the job: feeding the crusher[it even has a name: usher the crusher, funny eh? didnt think so]
so i walk past isl7, look down it[as you do if you work here] and see what looks like a big fucking mess all over the place:

a woman is perfectly frozen, covered in vommit from her hands to her chest whilst 7yr old girl with vommit covered face looks like she has just been put down on the ground. The isle is lengthwise covered in splattered vommit, making it impossible for customers to pass through this isle. The cherry on the cake? the woman is clutching one of the fruit and vedge bags filled about halfway with a homogenus yellow liquid. Congrats princess, you caught the last of the bucketfull of vommit.
I tell her dont worry, just stand there i will get mop bucket, towels etc. While i am gone she fucking flees the store with her vommit-doll in tow. Secuirity luckily picks up the slack and blocks off the isle which i then have to spend a long long time mopping up. Customers periodically walk past[via the small vommit-free path i have so kindly mopped for them] either looking like they are going to spew, making comradire comments[e.g "your game mate" " i pitty you, poor woolies lacky"] or they just plain loose their shit, cackling and pointing at me.
For the next 3 hours as i walk through the store, customers will just start laughing for no reason[prob cause u reminded them of the incident just by being there] or making comments of pitty, including a group of about 14 canadian exchange students who just came to the uni...fucking great. Half those girls i will be in the same classes with. My plans werent to be known as "the vommit guy" for my whole degree.


THE WORST STORY SO FAR
this happend nearl6 months ago. The thought still disturbs me to this day.
i was saving this one. I walk along and think i can smell something funny. I check isle 2[kids toys, nappies and babyware] and walk upon the most horrific scene i have ever seen in my whole 2 years of employment: a baby boy is seated on the top part of the trolly wearing nothing but a nappy and facing momma. His lower body is completely covered in shit. His bare legs are dripping diareah[sp?] there is a puddle of liquid shit on the floor, the trolly, several boxes of nappies on the lower shelf...all sprayed with a most of shit. Baby it seems had sat there with explosive diareah and let loose on my store a biological bomb of the cruelest kind of warfare.

Do you know what the mother said? " Uh oh! looks like baby split his nappy!"

i refused to clean that up on grounds of OH and S and i left the store both completely revolted, and also slightly amused at the poor chap who had to clean it up.

Sometimes i really REALLY hate working in the customer service industry

 

[Skeeta]

bahahaha haha oh gosh

geez i wish i could sig that.. lol far out you made my day!

 

[steph@nie]

on the disgusting customers thing, we've had dirty nappies left on the display changetables in nursery, kids vomiting in the middle of aisles (sometimes on the carpet which makes it even worse) and once we had a lady who was caught changing her pad in menswear.

 

[Ranger Stacie]

and once we had a lady who was caught changing her pad in menswear.

what the fuck. where is the self respect

 

[Casmira]

Stop Sighing When I Am In Hte Middle Of Another Customer, Fucks Sake That Happend Like 10 Times Too Me Today @#$#@$#@

 

[MzbLaZeIT]

lol@ reading all ur posts
life is sooo hard when u work in retail!
its ok, not everyone hates u!
geeeez lol life aint that bad guys, learn to live with it!
i hate stupid sales assistants!

 

[Nashie]

Again for Harvey Norman Furniture/Bedding (its different now I am full time)

1) Yes this fluro green shirt advertising a credit card is bright, you don;t need to tell me that it is

2) If I am busy do not get impatient about being served on whatever discount thing you are buying and don't expect me to drop a customer who is buying a lounge suite to help you

3) I have the right to refuse service

4) Please do not tell me that you can see the resembelance between me and the boss

5) Don't ask for a cup of coffee/tea if you see that we are having one as it is pretty pathetic, go to a cafe and ask

6) If I went to school with you for 3 years and you and your bf come in to buy a bed for him don't get all embarassed little miss princess if he clearly outlines his budget, it is helpful and realistic

7) When I am doing finance i am not being rude when I ask your wage, bills etc

8) If you ring us up to ask questions or to complain please lock the kids in a soundproof box as I will need to repeat everything

9) If after buying a bunk and being unable to put it together, do not tell the boss he is calling you an idiot for not being able to do it, you are an idiot and you should read the insrtuctions, when I go to your house in the housing commission area do not be shityy when I park the car in clear view of where I will be and clearly make sure it is locked with all items of any worth out of view.. even the police worry about their mags in this street (I truthfully had my hand in my pocket the whole time so I could grab my mobile to dial 000) Also, to continue this point.. please clean up your house if we are going to be there.. I dont want to see clothes piled up in the corridors and I really hate to see what kind lifestyle my tax dollars provides for

10) If you are a 35 or so year old woman who wears mini (i mean tiny) skirts and exceptionally tight clothes, please do not try to feel up your much younger boyfriend when I am there as I will add money to the price I went away to get to cover the alcohol to get that sight out of my mind

11) note also to above customer, just becuase you are a slutty whore does not mean you need to dress your (i'm guessing about 11 year old) daughter in the same fashion it is sick

12) If you ring before we open or after we close I will not be able to help with other department issues

13) Don't try to explain that you will only be really quick at 4:15 on a sunday afternooon (we close at 4) and also don't expect any sympathy from me if you don't recognise me as going to school with you

14) If you do recognise me as being someone oyu went to school with and someone you screwed over with money for schoolies, do not expect me to let you in after closing to buy a battery or something tiny.. I will not be upset of losing oyur friendship

15) If it says not suitable for anyone under 18... don't put your 4 year old daughter in it

16) I am sorry if you have been asked if you need any help by every single staff member inadvertanly.. but at least we have service, if you don't ike it go elsewhere

17) If you travel to every bedding store within a 150km radius of your home to get the best deal... you are a complete fucking idiot and i will be thinking this while I serve you!

18) DO NOT turn up at 3:55 on a sunday and expect me to go and load up your furniture into a rusty trailer when I have already told you that the wharehouse is not open on sundays

19) if you are the real "40 year old virgin" (closer to 45 i reakon) don't tell your mother how she sleeps when you coming to buy her a bed, i will get grossed out

20) I can hang the phone up if you treat me like shit

21) Don't make a joke about something being on the long boat from china... the last customer who made the joke had stuff that was on a boat that sank.... mysteriously

22) If you turn up wanting something right then and now, please chose from the options I give you that are in stock, not the ones that I repeatedly tell you are already sold and unavailiable

23) If the lamp is already marked down by close to 85%... do not ask for a further discount if you buy two

24) I am here to serve but I am not perfect, do not be rude if I go back to the computer to see if I can do a better price for you on something and ask me to "send back someone who will not need to keep on running backwards and fowards" I may be the junior but all of the other staff will have to come back to a computer to check stuff from time to time...

25) If your the neighbour that almost ran me over the day before do not expect me to make light of the awkward silence when you come into the store

26) The same rule applies to you as to supermarket customers in that if you cant see a price/it doesnt have one stuck to it doesn't make it free and don't expect me to go and ask the boss if it is

27) I apologise for the store being messy at times, unfortunately we gert new stock in and it has packaging and we need to unpackage that stock before you can try the stock

28) If you try to put a clearance sticker from one itme onto another, I will know, I put the stickers there and I will refuse to do it for that price

29) If the rug you are looking at has one loose bit on it, do not expect 80% off...

30) I don't care if you go elsewhere, it's your loss more than likely

31) Don't compare the lounge we have that retails for $2699 to one fantastic has in their catelogue at $1599 and when I say you can get it at that price anyway despite the far superior quality don't ask for more of a discount

32) Do not expect me to remember you from 3 months ago straight away

33) Sometimes floorstock is not for sale, deal with it

34) Don't bitch to me about our prices compared to the "cheap and nastiest" (aka crap) (please excuse the technical industry speak)

35) I happen to enjoy my job and don't bag it out

36) If your bother in law's best friend's neighbour's aunty's cousin by marriage used to work in another store don't expect a discount

37) Don't haggle about the price on something and then ask me to carry it out to your brand new top of the range merc/bmw

38) I am deeply sorry that we do not have what you are looking for, move on

39) Don't be critical of my suggestions of what matches your vauge explanation of what you want

40) Please don't sleep on the furniture

41) Don't let your kids touch the $7000 lounge suite

42) If you have white paint all over the back of your shirt, please do not sit on our most expensive lounges

43) I am sorry if I am blunt with you over the fact that our beds are of superior quality to some of the ones in other stores for half the price, don't waste my time bitching about it, go there and buy it

44) Don't argue with me about the fact that you saw a lounge suite the was "identical" to the one we have for a third of the price, go buy it, we will see you in three months when it is unuseable when your wife makes you pay for the decent quality one

45) Don't sing the harvey norman jingle to me

46) Don't tell me that we are just new to town when we have been here 8 years

47) If you have bought a bed, used it and then demanded we take it back because it was entirely our fault that you chose it and also have sent a viscous letter to the manufacturer bad mouthing all of the staff do not expect to ever be able to buy anything again in our store

48) If you are 15 year old guy sitting on a lounge swearing loudly and trying to it on one of the staff, don't act innocent when the boss asks you to leave, he just saved your lives quite possibly from that staff members husband

49) Please don't tell me how the harvey norman business works... I have been involved in it for over 10 years and I know for a fact that the people who run the stores are not corporate drones of a massive US company

50) Please keep all children (and some adults) on leashes

*beathes out*

 

[CieL]

50) Please keep all children (and some adults) on leashes

HEAR HEAR!

I was serving a customer today... had everything she wanted... then suddenly without saying anything she runs off... and I'm like wtf waste of food!!

Comes back about 5mins later and she's like, "sorrry my son ran off"

And once she handed us the money, her son ran off again..