Share Memorable Comebacks a Student has Given to a Teacher or Vice-versa (2 Viewers)

[piethepker]

Teacher: Boys, I can help you, I'm a history teacher
Student: Your a substitute!

everyone loled pretty hard, but we got a 10 min talk from the principal about respect for subs next lesson

 

[reallydontcare]

werst thred 2k14

 

[financialwar]

in bio class

teacher:men store fat around the belly, women around the thigh.

student:wish it was on on the breast.

 

[Cleavage]

> be me in y11 phys, mad dog as usual
> have not unattractive casual teacher
> have best mate called jake without gf (i have changed his name)

Me: hi miss, are you single?
Teacher: thats incredibly inappropriate, and none of your business
Me: are you sure? Im sure your business and my mate Jake's are compatible

> sit through a 3 minute, 1on1 lecture outside the classroom where a young casual tries to assert her authority
> i cannot stop laughing, job done #ultimatewingman

Not really a comeback, but something i thought i should sharef

 

[EspeciallyNotWeird]

Teacher: *shuts student's laptop because they were playing games*
Student: *puts head down for 1 minute* *opens laptop again*
Teacher: hey! Who told you to open your laptop! Close it!
Student: *closes laptop and immediately takes out phone*
Teacher: what?! Who told you to get your phone??!!
Student: you told me to not go on my laptop not my phone
Teacher: OH EXCUSE ME! See me after class
Student: *starts crying*
._. So rebel

Oh the laptops..
teacher: what are you guys doing?
group of students: work
teacher: I'm sure that explains why there is a group surrounding the laptop and laughing. Let me see what you're doing
*student completely slams laptop*
so suspicious

Teacher: Boys, I can help you, I'm a history teacher
Student: Your a substitute!

everyone loled pretty hard, but we got a 10 min talk from the principal about respect for subs next lesson

This is the other way around:
teacher: as you know I'm not a maths teacher so if you are stuck, ask the person next to you, if they don't know, ask other tables. If that doesn't solve it then we're doomed

werst thred 2k14

 

[dirty_ink]

*In Year 10

Teacher: Girls, I think this laptop is broken.
Students: It's not touch screen, sir.

 

[Crisium]

in bio class

teacher:men store fat around the belly, women around the thigh.

student:wish it was on on the breast.

That's funny, what ever happened to being home-schooled?

 

[EspeciallyNotWeird]

This was one of the most memorable moments from year 10 geo/history

So one student asked if its possible to just get a day off with the teacher's permission since hes awesome. Our teacher made a little joke saying:
'if you all dont come to class tomorrow ill just have to mark you absent and you all get to go home'
We knew he was joking but we couldnt resist.

So the next day 3rd period we all hid in the school hall for 40 minutes... out teacher was frantically looking for us. When he found us we had quite a good laugh...
the memories...

I remember this time when we had a temporary teacher who we never took seriously. For a lesson we had to meet him at another classroom to watch a documentary with the other class. Instead we went to our normal class, turned off all the lights and sat on the floor. From where I was, I could see his head going pass the classroom a few times looking for us. 30mins later he opens the classroom door and finally realises we were there the whole time

 

[aanthnnyyy]

Student: can I go to the toilet
Teacher: WHAT FOR!?
Student: (TO OPEN THE CHAMBERS OR SECRETS?!?? *exaggerates*)


grind 31

 

[mreditor16]

Teacher - Why are you smiling? What game are you playing on your netbook?
Student - Microsoft Word

 

[EspeciallyNotWeird]

teacher: "Don't tell me this isn't a white board marker"
student: "No, what are you doing? You drew on the smart board!"
teacher: "Keep this between our class, don't tell [main teacher]"

hahaha we ended up telling the other teacher

 

[tofusenpai]

Teacher:Could you please turn around even though the back of your head looks better than the front

 

[BlueGas]

teacher: "Don't tell me this isn't a white board marker"
student: "No, what are you doing? You drew on the smart board!"
teacher: "Keep this between our class, don't tell [main teacher]"

hahaha we ended up telling the other teacher

Snitches.

 

[BLIT2014]

Bump

 

[EspeciallyNotWeird]

teacher: so what would you do if you got this difficult question in the exam? *pause* other than whinge
student: um... cry?
the class cheered

 

[youngsky]

> Engo teacher calls class together for urgent announcement
>"I've lost my camera, if any of you boys have it give it back"
> Lectures class for 10 mins on stealing
> "Sir, it's in your hand"

 

[Fizzy_Cyst]

Context: Student 1 is big noting himself about how he beat student 2 last year



Student 1: Sir, did Student 2 beat me in anything last year?

Teacher: Yes. Life.

 

[braintic]

In my class:

Everyone is quietly working, when Student 1 yells out "has anyone got a ruler?".
Student 2 stands up, comes out to the front of the room, grabs my metre rule, then hands it to student 1.
Student 1 calls out loudly: "I want to rule a line, not measure my d..k".
Teacher turns towards board and starts writing furiously to cover up his laugh.

 

[sadpwner]

It was the beginning of year 12 and we had a year meeting.
Teacher: Good luck to you all, but I am sure I'll be seeing some of you again

Another situation:
Students laughing*
Physics teacher asks what?
students inform him that he accidentally drew the Nazi symbol.

 

[BLIT2014]

*bump*