stressful family relationship + depression (1 Viewer)

[ur_inner_child]

Everyone is telling you to get out if you can, and you probably acknowledge the logic in it but won't act on it.

I had very very very similar parents (wouldn't let me make calls etc) and I got out. I made a stand. A few stands because they were ultimately my parents so I would move back, feeling really guilty.

I just want to express that moving away was the best thing I could ever do. It wasn't selfish, it was self respecting. Do it. Seriously. And know it can be done.

But then again, you're an international student. How dependent do you think you are anyway?

I can't believe they came all this way when really you could've just gone on your own to Sydney.

They will never change. You might resolve something, but then there is a hundred other things you still need to solve.

And yes they are your parents, you love them, and they love you, and they're not always painfully irritating, but you are not going to be a child forever. You WILL (and I emphasise will) have to stand up to them one day to show you're an adult eventually. It is not going to just suddenly be better. I promise, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through.

Get. Out. Now.

Or find supportive friends who will listen and understand and will help you through to find your confidence.

 

[misericordia]

Everyone is telling you to get out if you can, and you probably acknowledge the logic in it but won't act on it.

I had very very very similar parents (wouldn't let me make calls etc) and I got out. I made a stand. A few stands because they were ultimately my parents so I would move back, feeling really guilty.

I just want to express that moving away was the best thing I could ever do. It wasn't selfish, it was self respecting. Do it. Seriously. And know it can be done.

But then again, you're an international student. How dependent do you think you are anyway?

I can't believe they came all this way when really you could've just gone on your own to Sydney.

They will never change. You might resolve something, but then there is a hundred other things you still need to solve.

And yes they are your parents, you love them, and they love you, and they're not always painfully irritating, but you are not going to be a child forever. You WILL (and I emphasise will) have to stand up to them one day to show you're an adult eventually. It is not going to just suddenly be better. I promise, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through.

Get. Out. Now.

Or find supportive friends who will listen and understand and will help you through to find your confidence.

i can't get out. i have to stay with my legal guardian (mother) to be able to study in australia lol.
and i'm partially responsible for making her stay here unwillingly....i was semi forced to have sexual relationship with my ex who was the son of my last host family, and i wanted to move out. but because i had too much conflict between my past host family because of my depression and their problems, the agency refused to arrange any other accomodaton...so yeah, i have to face the consequence.

 

[MaNiElla]

Everyone is telling you to get out if you can, and you probably acknowledge the logic in it but won't act on it.

I had very very very similar parents (wouldn't let me make calls etc) and I got out. I made a stand. A few stands because they were ultimately my parents so I would move back, feeling really guilty.

I just want to express that moving away was the best thing I could ever do. It wasn't selfish, it was self respecting. Do it. Seriously. And know it can be done.

But then again, you're an international student. How dependent do you think you are anyway?

I can't believe they came all this way when really you could've just gone on your own to Sydney.

They will never change. You might resolve something, but then there is a hundred other things you still need to solve.

And yes they are your parents, you love them, and they love you, and they're not always painfully irritating, but you are not going to be a child forever. You WILL (and I emphasise will) have to stand up to them one day to show you're an adult eventually. It is not going to just suddenly be better. I promise, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through.

Get. Out. Now.

Or find supportive friends who will listen and understand and will help you through to find your confidence.

moving out might be a good solution to her problem, but what if she moves out for a while and her mum refuses to let her move back in? Worse, her mum might just go back to japan (dont know the law, so not sure if she can do that), and leave her stranded here in australia, then she'l face bigger problems.

misericordia- i advise you to show your mum that your really trying to get good marks in you HSC, so she would stop telling you that your wasting her time, and money. Show her that you want to succeed and get good marks etc, and let her know as politely as you can, that she's making it hard for you. You can try telling her that when she's in her *good* mood.

All the best

 

[rozymisty]

Moving out is a difficult situation coz you are under 18 and a international student. You wouldnt be allowed to get Centrelink coz your obviously not a Aussie citizen.

I would suggest you tell your mum that you are doing a study session with friends and actually do that, that way you will have some where to study and your firends will be there to supprot you. Even if you go over to someones place adn do your own study its still great opportunity.

How come you came over here to study rather than back home.

 

[misericordia]

i've been everywhere-canada and nz and here...i left japan because in there life was just screwed up-homeschooled in really strict manner. i can't go back now because i will end up having same locked up life, and because i can't adapt to japan-the language, culture, the normal day to day stuff (e.g. catching a bus, etc). if i was to go back there, i have to start everything from scratch, and i will just die slowly emotionally. i tried being familiar with my family and my original culture but i just dont merge with them.

 

[Jachie]

you turn eighteen in two months. if you can't leave home now, would you be able to then?

 

[alby]

good idea..but i think oct might be too close to the hsc for her to move out and have time to adjust

 

[Excalibur_]

And having a cap of 20 hours / week or work on a youth wage won't get you a home, bills, transport and supplies unless you really skimp on things...

...look, I had a spell of depression during my final year at school. I found it really helpful to talk to a psychologist (and realise just how supportive friends can be). If not anything else, as mentioned in the previous replies, at least talk to someone you trust. Friends maybe? I'd also suggest you talk to your co-ordinator to see what the school can do to support your studies (like special consideration in your exams).