taking time to adjust... (1 Viewer)

[alyssah]

hai.

i'm finding it a little bit hard to adjust to uni, mostly because its such a different environment compared to school and my bestest friends didnt go to macquarie :L

i havent really made 'close' friends with anyone yet ... and i feel like im running out of time to make new friends coz like the friendship groups are already being established...(sigh).

any advice wud be good, just feeling a bit down atm :L

 

[AsyLum]

You've got a few options:

a) Start making friends in lectures/tutorials, its going to be harder, but just chat to people and you may find someone else is in the exact same situation.
b) Go join a club/social/sport group at uni, its an easy way of participating with common-minded people.
c) If you're uncomfortable doing that, hit the Mentors up, send them an email at transition@mq.edu.au and they can try and help you find some people in your area to keep in touch and help you meet more people

Don't feel like you're the only one that's going through it, I'm sure a fair few people are its just that they're not posting on here.

 

[Dimsimmer]

Hi Alyssah,

May I ask what course you are doing at the moment? I assume that you are a first year student judging by your post.
I personally think that its never really too late to make friends at any stage at uni. I managed to make new friends even when I was in my 2nd year and most people I meet at uni are generally quite friendly.
I think that 'close' friendships are more difficult to form, even though I know plenty of people at uni that I can consider as a 'friend'.

Some advice I can give you:

1) When you see someone around the uni that is in any of your classes etc, you could approach that person and start a conversation by asking 'Hey, do you do this particular subject etc?'. That way, you would have a 'reason' to talk to someone and it wont feel as awkward and also you would have at least one thing in common.

2) In your classes, you could introduce yourself to another person and ask them common questions such as 'What course are you doing?', 'What days do you have uni?', 'How do you find this unit so far?' etc and if you can get along with that person, you can sit with them in class the next time.

3) If you find that a particular person doesnt seem to want to meet you, then its best to move on and find other people. You shouldnt allow that to discourage you. Not everyone is the same.

I think that if you are a friendly and helpful person that is willing to talk to and meet people, then you shouldnt have much trouble making friends. I find that every semester is different and that there are plenty of opportunites to form friendships.

 

[Luke!]

I just befriended you on your BOS profile, haha.

Umm, in my experience I tend to make and lose friends with the beginning and end of each semester. One of the things you'll notice about Uni, especially in first year, is that it's harder to make lasting friendships because you're always in different classes from semester to semester.

However, I'm in my fifth year and I've made more friends in this semester than in any other and I don't have classes with any of them. Most of them aren't even doing the same degree as me.

I'd recommend joining the gym or some of the social clubs. Make an effort to do things other than just attending classes.

It's an exponential thing, you meet one person who introduces you to more, those people introduce you to even more new people, and before you know it you're so cool that you can't remember anyone's name, it's brilliant.

 

[chewy123]

Sigh, I am in the same situation at UNSW....I miss the good old high school days playing cards and cracking jokes with friends in the canteen...I guess I am worse since I been in the same school all my life with friends I had since yr 7, the adjustment is abhorrent.

Anyway, the only thing that's easing my sadness is keeping contact with old school friends, chatting on msn and facebooking with them. Someone to talk to can help you to de-stress.

 

[alyssah]

thanks for your advice asylum, dimsimmer and luke. i'll try some of the things u told me and hopefully i can manage to make sum new friends..

well its good to know (as someone pointed out) that making friends in uni is an on-going process and not just limited in first year, as i previously thought.

and yes dimsimmer, its my first year in uni and im doing a bachelor of arts.


thx guys.

 

[alyssah]

Sigh, I am in the same situation at UNSW....I miss the good old high school days playing cards and cracking jokes with friends in the canteen...I guess I am worse since I been in the same school all my life with friends I had since yr 7, the adjustment is abhorrent.

Anyway, the only thing that's easing my sadness is keeping contact with old school friends, chatting on msn and facebooking with them. Someone to talk to can help you to de-stress.

hi-5 dude, yeah i miss school too, surprisingly.

i also went in the same skool with friends since yr 7 and sum even since primary who went to the same highskool... and none of them went to macquarie.. so yeah :L

nowadays i only have contact with them through msn.

but i guess, this is all part of the adjustment to uni.

 

[antisheep]

Hey alyssah,

Last year, my first year at mac, i had the exact same problem... there were plenty of people that I could nod at, have a chat if i saw them, but no one i was close to...

If you think it's "getting too late"... i wouldn't worry about that too much... uni isn't like high school... people don't operate in cliques... as Luke! mentioned you're with different people every semester and I think you'll find that even if for the rest of the semester you don't have anyone you're too close to, it could all turn around next semester etc. You never stop meeting new people... it's one of the best things about uni.

I know how lonely it can get not having any friends at uni and not having time to see the friends you do have because of uni, but it's temporary... everyone opens up more second semester i found in first year subs... and remember easter is coming up so you can see your friends...

And Asylum is right... everyone is in the same boat... now that i've made friends this year i told them how hard i found it last year... and they essentially were the same.

It'll be fine, good luck with it all.

 

[Jennt]

Take everyone's advice! You just can't expect people to include you without you making an effort. Just take a deep breath and "pretend" that you're a confident person - turn to the person next to you in a tutorial or prac; say "hi, I'm ...." and keep looking them straight in the eye until they introduce themselves back at you

Of course, you didn't qualify what you are looking for in a "friend"? If it's friends to socialise with then you're probably best to join a uni club or something. Or figure out what you're interested in and join a club outside of uni. If it's just people to meet for lunch and talk to while waiting for lectures/tutes/pracs etc then take the above advice.

I'm an external student a MaQ and have been able to establish a core group of 4-5 others that I touch base with via email on a semi-regular basis. There's also a number of others that I know by sight and am happy enough to chat with or join for coffee etc. If a 40+yr old woman like me (who's only on-campus a few weekends a year) can find some friends then you DEFINITELY can Of course it may be that at 40+ I'm a lot less shy and more willing to put myself out there....

Good Luck!

 

[lind27]

Hey Alyssah
Yeh i can relate to how you feel. It's just soo different coming straight from school. I've met some really nice people so far at Macquarie but not too many that are close friends either, i guess it just takes time.
Now i'm not finding the making friends part to hard, but its the workload. ahhh
Add me on fb if you want, Lindsay kilgour

 

[Monstar]

Alyssa everyone experiences the same thing. I wouldn't be too worried- the few friends i've made at uni, they arent the type to sorta chill in the holidays or weekends with.

 

[Kiim2507]

Hey don't worry a fair few people would be in this situation.

The main problem I'm finding is that you get friendly with people but you only see them 1-2 hours a week so it's really hard to maintain friendships...but thats what facebook is for

Yeah like others have said just start conversation about things at uni i.e 'How did you find the readings this week?' 'How are you going with the assignment?' 'What other electives are you doing?' etcetc

Thats what I've been doing

What electives are you doing btw?

 

[AsyLum]

Add me on fb if you want, Lindsay kilgour

I lol'd amazing pickup line.

 

[old.skool.kid]

yeah i know how you feel, no one i knew went to macquarie. and until a few weeks ago i was finding it hard to make freinds as well, but yeah as other people have said it just takes time. try talking to the people you think you could get along with in your tutes and pracs.

we should have a mac bos meet at the uni bar tomorrow night! playboy party wooooo!!

 

[alyssah]

hey thx guys, im getting along a bit better in the uni now

 

[AsyLum]

Yay! That's great to hear, uni is a lot more fun when you've got other people to enjoy/hate it with.