Re: them cityrail moments
- I was in a semi-full train from Newtown to Central, and some guy is kind of swaying back and forth in the carriage, holding his phone so close to his face that when he pressed the buttons, he poked himself in the face with his thumbs. He stops for a second, looks up and asks (to no-one in particular) "How do you spell heart?"
After a couple of seconds, one of the suits in the carriage replies "H-E-A-R-T"
The first guy pauses for a second, and then says "Whatthefuck heart so doesn't have an E in it. E doesn't make an AR sound".
At this point I get off the train, and unfortunately miss the second half of what I assume would have been an intelligent discussion on the subject of the peculiar nature of spelling in the English language.
- I'm at Central, and a train has just terminated there. However, there is still a passenger aboard; an itty bitty asian man. First comes a guard to tell the little guy to get off, but not only does he not get off, he doesn't even react. After about 20 minutes, I've missed 2 trains due to the fact that I have joined the crowd of people who are trying to tell this guy to get the fuck off the train, and it's still as if the guy thinks we're talking to someone else. By this point we're just trying to find out what language this guy speaks. Hahaha at one point this guy says "Hey I'm pretty fluent in spanish", to which another man responds "Does he look fucking spanish to you?!"
- I was on a train with Sandra Bullock, and I'd just killed this psycho by smashing his face against the roof of the tunnel. Now you'd think, with the pyscho being dead and all, everything would be all fine and dandy. But, get this - it wasn't. Sandra, as it turned out, was handcuffed to the train, and, for reasons I can't explain, the train couldn't be stopped, and it was like totally heading for a construction site thingy. I'd just diffused a bomb n' stuff, and Sandra hadn't even thanked me, so I was like "fuck this", and so I jumped of the train and let the bitch get off at her next stop: Hell.
Ok so two of those stories are true, and one is an amended version of the last scene in "Speed", where I am Keanu Reeves. Guess which one's the fake.