MedVision ad

Tryign to be Friends with the Ex (1 Viewer)

Evansy

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
164
Location
Port Stephens
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
How hard is it trying to be friends with the current ex. I have only ever wanted to be friends with her, as she was my best friend even thought while we were going out........ its like so hard coz when i do see her she is like completely different, i dont expect it to be the same that it was between us, but it would be nice for her to actually see that im just liek her with the feelings and emotions but i dont know anymore. found out just now that she has got rid of practicly everything even my poems i wrote, everything that meant a lot to me. i knwo she has moved on as she has a new man and everything, but like i guess i wont ever have her friendship again....
 

Serius

Beyond Godlike
Joined
Nov 10, 2004
Messages
3,123
Location
Wollongong
Gender
Male
HSC
2005
basically... your fucked mate, move on it could take years to get the friendship back the way it was, your better off just forgeting her
 

Evansy

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
164
Location
Port Stephens
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
mmm_sofay said:
so your saying she was your best friend before you and her were an item?
man we were best friends while we were together, athought beign together we still saw each other every day and etc, so yeah witht at suddenly stopping its like hard. how much do i regret moving your whole life for a girl. bad move
 

Az-jay

Member
Joined
Mar 16, 2005
Messages
37
Gender
Female
HSC
2005
Evansy said:
How hard is it trying to be friends with the current ex. I have only ever wanted to be friends with her, as she was my best friend even thought while we were going out........ ..

i started to date my best friend before and it didn't work. luckily we realised it before our friendship was completly ruined as we fought something awful. we stopped talking for a few months and when things started falling apart again, he was still there.
some times you need a bit of break to reassess everything and to realise what you have.
 

iamsickofyear12

Active Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2004
Messages
3,960
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Evansy said:
found out just now that she has got rid of practicly everything even my poems i wrote, everything that meant a lot to meQUOTE]

My ex kept emails I sent it her years after we broke up, even when I decided that I hated her and refused to talk to her, or even acknowledge her at all if she said something to me. It was weird cause you would expect someone to throw away stuff from someone one they broke up, or at least I would expect it, so don't worry about it and move on.
 

Evansy

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
164
Location
Port Stephens
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
she goes today online saying that she has moved on, started a new life, a life without me in it. im like woah harsh. but like yeah awwwww the hassle of having a relationship with others............ is it worth it???? one day it might be
 

iamsickofyear12

Active Member
Joined
Jun 17, 2004
Messages
3,960
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Evansy said:
she goes today online saying that she has moved on, started a new life, a life without me in it. im like woah harsh. but like yeah awwwww the hassle of having a relationship with others............ is it worth it???? one day it might be
You know, it wouldn't be a problem if you didn't care. So stop caring.
 

mmm_sofay

time to pretend
Joined
Sep 16, 2004
Messages
1,729
Location
Maggotsville
Gender
Female
HSC
2010
just like, go out, get really drunk, and screw a few randoms.
have a drunken orgy.
and move on.
if you broke up, she musnt be that good.
 

Evansy

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
164
Location
Port Stephens
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
mmm_sofay said:
just like, go out, get really drunk, and screw a few randoms.
have a drunken orgy.
and move on.
if you broke up, she musnt be that good.
are you offering?
 

Beckiki_S

I call President!
Joined
Mar 23, 2004
Messages
734
Location
Melrose Place
Gender
Female
HSC
2004
Its heaps hard if they still want you.
Its heaps hard if you still want them.
Equally as hard if it was a messy breakup.

If you keep at it though you could be friends again... it wont happen overnight but it will happen (unless you fall into the above categories).
 

Dreamerish*~

Love Addict - Nakashima
Joined
Jan 16, 2005
Messages
3,705
Gender
Female
HSC
2005
friendships aren't the same after a relationship.
that's why people think twice before taking the friendship a step further because they don't want to ruin it if things don't work out.
you might end up friends with her again, but it's never going to be like before, so if you really value your friendship with a girl, you should make sure that both of you really want a relationship before starting one.
 

MaryJane

Extraordinary Machine
Joined
Aug 25, 2003
Messages
1,694
Location
Beside you.
Gender
Female
HSC
2003
Not to burst your bubble, but most couplea are best friends when they're together. But really, when you break up with them, its because you want someone different to them, which makes it hard to be friends. This also depends on who does the breaking up. If you broke up with her, theres a great chance that you dont want her in your life anymore, and it works vice-versa.

I'm friends with my ex, but I hardly ever see him which works well for me, because I feel that I have moved on to a degree and out-grown him and our relationship. Not to sound harsh, and its not that he's immature, but I've changed and want different things from life. At first, it was hard for him to accept that he couldnt see me every day, but now that he's at uni, its a lot easier. Just keep your distance, and if you're meant to be friends, you will be. Just dont keep your hopes high for retaining a 'best friend' relationship.
 

Skittled

What did the crab do?
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Messages
991
Location
Sydney, Australia
Gender
Male
HSC
2003
MaryJane said:
...But really, when you break up with them, its because you want someone different to them, which makes it hard to be friends....
...or you've both changed and grown apart, and the tensions have finally built up enough that you're not really 'best friends' anymore...

MaryJane said:
Just dont keep your hopes high for retaining a 'best friend' relationship.
...at least not at first, or for a while. You've both gotta develop more if you've broken up; for the above reasons. Come back in a few years time and you'll have a much better hope for a better friendship..
 

babydoll_

wat
Joined
Oct 22, 2002
Messages
4,531
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
It's really hard on both parties to be friends again after a breakup... sorry to repeat a cliche, but give it time... I really really hated my ex after we broke up but we're friends again now, and we've both moved on, no bitter feelings.
 

Evansy

Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2004
Messages
164
Location
Port Stephens
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
we have been broken up for about 2.5 months now, we broke up coz we were fighting alot and wanted to give it a try at getting the friendship right before moving on. Its only been in the last 2 weeks that she has found another girl has she totally just said she doesnt want anything to do with me, and that the hardest thing.......

all i wanted was her as a friend who i could still seriously talk to like most friends are these days but when i even talk to her its like she is on another planet and she couldnt really care wat i had to say... thats hard for me because i talk alot when im with people i know, or care about etc, where she isnt, and yeah so i wouldnt get alot of communication from her at all so yeah that made it hard.

she doesnt want me back, and at the moment i couldnt see myself wanting her back, yeah i miss her and when i see her i can see all the sad mistakes i made, and i can see wat i have lost, but i just see it as it wasnt meant to be, or it wasnt the right time, moment, place. who knwos wats down the track.

one thing that really is getting to me is the fact that she deleted everything of mine, i dont know if its true, but she got rid of my poems and she knows my poems are an extention of my heart, and they mean the world to me, i just cant see how she can just get rid of stuff like that. i myself am finding it hard to delete some msg off my phone that meant alot to me and everything i have on my computer meaning poems, photos, anything i have moved into a folder and put away, i wont delete it coz i like to ponder later when im over it, ponder over the past and have a good laugh, but i just dont understand how she could just delete those poems.......

awww well nothing i can really do........ i guess i lost a friend...........
*****Attention - Wanted - New Friend/s - Seek Within ****
 

frazzle

Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
311
Location
Sydney
Gender
Female
HSC
2004
she deleted those poems because she wanted to get over you, which means his is affecting her as much as it is affcting you.

right now you have no option but to move on, is she's said she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. stop torturing yourself and forget about her, at least for now, or you will never get over her. go out, have fun with your mates, rediscover life before her.

you can never be friends again until you both totally get over each other, and to do that, you really need to spend time apart and remmeber what it was like before each other.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top