when the line is crossed... (1 Viewer)

[bex]

so i pashed my best male friend. ( for those who dont know me i am a girl)
ive quietly known that ive always had feelings for him but now that we've kissed the feelings are a lot more intense..

i dont think he feels the same for me... so now what? i dont want our friendship to be awkard but at the same time i want to know where i stand with him. how do i approach this?

anyone ever been in this situation? what happened?

 

[Tulipa]

well if you do anything DON'T do what i did.

which was ... skip around the subject, not really talk about it, compromise, become friends with benefits (joy) and decide you want him at a very inopportune time.

doesn't work.

i think you might need to talk to him about it, get a feeling for what he thinks and go from there. if you think he's not interested, then maybe you just need to move forward with your friendship and forget your feelings.

(sorry i suck at advice, just telling you what not to do)

 

[Tulipa]

QFT. QFT QFT.

you have any advice?

or are you just goin to tell me to shut up?

 

[bex]

learning from other peoples mistakes are good advice in themselves!!!
we are pretty close but even if he does like me, it would be shite cause he is still at uni far far away (where we became friends in the first place) whilst im back in the city and about to start my first full time job.

ahhh i just want stability!!!

 

[james_chappo]

Yeah the best way is to just confront him with the issue. Being subtle doesn't get you anywhere. Just tell him that you want to know where you stand with him and if he doesn't feel the same way with you tell him your concerns about it affecting your friendship and workout ways you can deal with it.

 

[bex]

its so much easier said than done! what if he laughs at me!?

 

[james_chappo]

I know how it feels. It happened to me. And she didn't feel the same way. . Sure being rejected sucks - but not knowing is even worse. What if you don't say anything and he did like you but then thought you didn't like him and moved on and found another girl aye?

 

[Dreamerish*~]

If he's a close friend, you should be able to talk about it with him.

 

[james_chappo]

If he's a close friend, you should be able to talk about it with him.

EXACTLY!!!!!

 

[Tulipa]

QFT = Quoted For Truth. I was complimenting you.

Now I'll just insult you, retard. See what I did there?

in other internet speak, QTF means quit fucking talking.

so you can see how i misread that.

 

[james_chappo]

Shame on internet talk

 

[Tulipa]

Wow, people say QFT as an insult? That's... Lose.

yep.. sucks ass.

then again thanks for the compliment.

 

[SilveryNightsky]

well you guys kissed so he doesn't find the idea of you being 'more than a friend' revolting. Try talking to him, say it's been bothering you a bit not knowing where you stand. Being your best friend he'll try his best to understand and be there for you.

my boyfriend was one of my best guy friends, if that makes you feel any better.

 

[olchik]

I try not to mix frienship with relations. I even can't imagine this situation how to date a friend, it's like dating your brother....just weird!

 

[bex]

everything with him is just so comfortable.. i feel good about myself when im with him and its fun you know? not cutesy or mushy.. i dont know if i will say anything.. i really vaue his friendship...

 

[the threat]

bex, just out of curiosity, how did the incident happen where you two made out?
did you run into him in town and mack or were you trashed or something other?

definately echo that if he's a good mate you'll be able to talk it out.
i can guarantee not knowing where you two stand would be killing him more than you, and it'll be a relief for you to bring it up. you might notice him act a little awkward sometimes, and that's him trying to figure out a way to get it out of you. bringing it up so he doesn't have to snake it out would make his day.

 

[banana_monkey]

learning from other peoples mistakes are good advice in themselves!!!
we are pretty close but even if he does like me, it would be shite cause he is still at uni far far away (where we became friends in the first place) whilst im back in the city and about to start my first full time job.

ahhh i just want stability!!!

Community. Identity. Stability.

If only our society was like Brave New World. Sex, drugs and group orgies all being condoned by the government. Mmmmmmmmm.

 

[zlks]

Community. Identity. Stability.

If only our society was like Brave New World. Sex, drugs and group orgies all being condoned by the government. Mmmmmmmmm.

... yeah and billions of clones getting stuck with shit jobs for their entire life.

that was one of the most fucked up books i read. and yeah i probably read it when i was too young.

and bex - if you value the friendship at all, you'll bring it up and talk about it, even if its just a phone call and you resolve it quickly. its these kinda things that make people just drift apart without communication

 

[bex]

... yeah and billions of clones getting stuck with shit jobs for their entire life.

that was one of the most fucked up books i read. and yeah i probably read it when i was too young.

and bex - if you value the friendship at all, you'll bring it up and talk about it, even if its just a phone call and you resolve it quickly. its these kinda things that make people just drift apart without communication

thats a good point.. ive moved out of the dorms because i had to go back to sydney to finish off my degree with prac. i came back to campus for the weekend for an event we have annualy... anyways.. we were hanging out in the day and drinking and stuff (like normal) and then at the conclusion of the day i went back to visit my old dorm. so we were still hanging out and i was getting sleepy and didnt want to go back to the house i was staying in downtown so he saiud i could stay with him

so we both went to bed and were being stoopid (like always) and then that was it! when i left in the morning we just hugged and then i left....

 

[zlks]

what you've left out i think is whether you would really like to have a relationship with him?