Why do you start a relationship? (1 Viewer)

[twiddla]

An interesting point has come up in my discussing of late.

Why do you go out with someone, is it with the intention of 'just having fun' or with a view to marriage?

Knowing how hard emmotionally break ups are to deal with even if they don't invovle hatred, isn't it a little cruel to get in a relationship with no intention of ever making it permenant. I know for most looking ahead to marriage is a little hard but just think of what you are getting the other person in for.

Discuss!

 

[soha]

marriage.......

 

[tempco]

i doubt many people these days enter a relationship with marriage in mind... especially the age group that frequent BoS.

 

[jumb]

Because society doesn't look down on you as much if you have sex in a relationship.

All jokes aside, I see it as a cause for security. You go into a relationship, to create a special club between you and someone else, where you know you will always have someone there for you, much like a religion. I believe that happiness is defined by security. A person who feels secure in every aspect of life (money, physical security, a secure relationship) would be the happiest person on earth. This is why relationships make people happy.

 

[Alimoe_KG]

You don't go into a relationship with the mentality that it must be permanent. However, a relationship is a way for two people to explore whether there could be the possibility of something more permanent.
If it doesn't work out, they can part ways (hopefully in a civil manner ). If it's the stuff of dreams, then eventually marriage will come.
But to go into a relationship with the strict idea that it must be something permanent could distort your personality and it won't do you good in the long term.


Oh and Jumb is absolutely right. In the end, it's all about security. Love itself is an emotional security.

 

[twiddla]

I'm not saying that you go in with the concept of marrriage being a must, but rather a consideration. ie that you aren't going in knowing that you will break up

 

[jumb]

I'm not saying that you go in with the concept of marrriage being a must, but rather a consideration. ie that you aren't going in knowing that you will break up

But sometimes a little companionship is good for the soul.

Also, love is one of those emotions, which you can't try and force to be logic. You're trying to place logic behind love, by trying to force a reason for it, which you can't do.

 

[tempco]

its human nature

that pretty much summed it up. companionship is essential to us.

 

[soha]

companion ship is essential
but i refuse to be in a relationship with the intentions to "have fun"
and then move on to someone else
i want a life partner etc..

 

[Lennie]

You start a relationship with someone because with a word, a look, or a touch something just clicks.

Whether a relationship will be for marriage, or some other reason, isnt initially important to most. Some choose emotions over logic, knowing whole-heartedly, that a relationship wont work, purely as a function of desire. But I guess that is the beauty of it all.

 

[llamalope]

some people I've started a relationship with was just for fun... but only one person I've been with I could see myself marrying. We had a bit of a complicated history before we actually officially went out... so yeah, i could see myself marrying him when we started dating.

 

[samuelblayden]

because you love someone and you want to be close to them

 

[ChrisE]

its an interesting point, if we think about it, everything ends because we are going to die so why do anything? because it enriches our lives in the moment, at that very time because the present is all we have.
the things we get out of a relationship whether it be a short fling or something with a bit more longevity give us experience, teach us lessons and make us happy at that point in time.

 

[Emily.]

yeah i agree with u nicho

i have trouble getting my head around relationships cos i dont see the point in doing something if its gonna cause hurt eventually....so im like "whats the point in a relationship if im not gonna get married??!?!"

argh thinking about things like this make my head hurt. go away!

 

[santaslayer]

Because I don't want to be Mr Lonely.

Because companionship at the age of 80 is essential in warding off old aged mental illness.

 

[Reallyreally]

I rekon that nothin is set and life is to confusin to plan too far ahead so when a girl interests me enough I go out with her and see wat comes. If it's meant to happen, it wil happen. Too much plannin screws things up.

 

[beccaxx]

*Watches Tom e-run away*

he does that part pretty well

 

[mmm_sofay]

more sex.

i just go into a relationship coz it feels right.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

if you like a guy/girl, and the feeling is mutual, (and you're both single), it would take quite a bit of self restraint not to take the friendship further.

also, if you avoid relationships because you say that it will only cause hurt when it ends, and that if you're not getting married, what's the point?
WELL, when you DO what to get married, how will you know which guy/girl to choose?

we start relationships to gain experience, (also because we can't resist. ) and when we meet whoever is right for us, we'll be able to tell.

it's hopeless to try living life without pain. pain is a part of love. live with it.

 

[Alimoe_KG]

WELL, when you DO what to get marries, how will you know which guy/girl to choose?

Horrendous spelling from Dreamerish*~

Oh dear, is the world coming to an end?

I think it's rather constraining to go into a relationship thinking that the other person is the only one and that it will lead to marriage and the two of you living happily ever after.

Just go in it as yourself, assuming nothing and expecting everything.