Written with tears. (1 Viewer)

Kyufruit

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My parents risked their lives and worked day and night to get me into this country. They did everything in their power so I could get the education they didn’t have access to. This has reminded me everyday to push myself further and do good at school, so my parents can finally see me going to university, something they never even thought of as an option for them. So why do I have no motivation to do well anymore, why is my ambition slipping out of my grasp? How can I stop this cycle of negative self talk that I have build this year? I don't know what to do.

At the start of this year, i took Arabic Continuers as one of my hsc subjects, i wanted to take Beginners but that wasn’t an option for me as i have an arabic speaking background, though i've never been to arabic school in my life. On my first lesson in saturday school, I didn't even know the alphabet, so my teacher told me to drop it, but I stayed and worked my ass off in order to catch up with my fellow classmates who’ve been studying the language since they were children. Sure enough, I learned to read and write. It was the level of a child, but I was able to do it. My teacher, however, wasn't convinced, and kept telling me to drop it, but I kept refusing, because I knew that if I put in more effort then by the time year 12 rolls around I would be able to get good grades. My writing is slow and basic, it takes me time to progress the words and be able to write them on paper, so on my first writing exam, I was only able to write around 60 words in an hour, a quarter of what was required. I got 4/10 for that exam, and my teacher told me “you might as well drop the subject or you'll scale everyone down”

Im sorry but, those fucking words kept stabbing me so hard and im still not able to make it stop. She destroyed all the confidence I had in my abilities. She knew the progress i've been making, she knew all the effort i've put in in that class, and to hear shit like that instead of words of congratulate was hard enough as it is. But, it got worse, because i started to have feelings of self doubt and negative self talk. I cry on the train on my way to arabic school, because i know she doesn't see me as worthy or smart enough to be in her class, she thinks im stupid and wont benefit the class in anyway, rather the opposite.

This didn't stop though, because these feelings made their way to my weekschool.

Chemistry 1st exam- 20/24
Chemistry Depth Study- 17/30
Chemistry 2nd exam- 2/40

I have the most amazing chemistry teacher, she has so much passion for the subject and so much knowledge. I've always been thrilled for what we were going to learn in each lesson. After the incident with my arabic teacher, my participation and enthusiasm started to disappear, until I became one of the quietest students in that class. Everytime i sit in that class and want to ask a question, i open my mouth and then close it back down in fear that ill say something stupid, that my question was already answered, that my teacher will think im stupid. I've never been like this before, I'm very outgoing and bubbly, I learn by interacting and asking questions, but now it's not like that anymore. I dont even know whats going on in my class anymore, im so behind in chemistry yet eveyrtime i open my book to study i start to get overwhelmed and cry, telling myself its too hard and im too stupid to understand it anyway.
I was very ambitious, I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to make my parents proud, I didn't want their efforts to go to waste, I wanted to get a high atar, so how can I make these feelings go away? How can I tell myself I can do it and truly believe it? How can I gain my confidence back? I want to do well in prelims, but I'm so behind. I don't think i can.
Someone please help me, give me advice, what should I do??

My parents are everything to me, and i don't want them to know what i'm going through. I was thinking about repeating year 11, but i don't even know how to bring it up.

Please, someone help.
 

B1andB2

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Hey, you got this.
1. Take a break. TOMORROW OR AFTER SCHOOL go out to the park, go shopping, go to the beach and forget about school for just a few hours. Clear your mind, breathe some fresh air and then go back home.
2. Okay so now you're back home. Tidy your room. Declutter. Organise your workspace. You're probably thinking why you should waste your time tidying things up when you "should" be studying for prelims. Well crying in a messy room is going to make you cry even more. It'll help with clearing your mind. You'll feel like it's a new beginning.
3. Stick your goal onto your wall. Right opposite your bed. Whenever you get up in the morning, you read it, and you understand your purpose. it'll motivate you to get through the day. You also mentioned how your parents are everything to you. Put a family photo on your desk. It'll be a constant reminder.
4. To do list: start by writing down things you have to do. It's important to not overdo it. Be realistic, account for procrastination and rest. Otherwise it'll demotivate you.
5. Reward yourself for every little accomplishment.
6. Use your Arabic teacher's contemptuous criticism to make you stronger. You want to prove them WRONG. When you graduate with a decent mark, laugh in their face and tell him they were wrong. No joke. It'll teach them a good lesson.
7. Do your best, and remember it's not the end of it all. There's plenty of time to improve and there are many alternative pathways to success in the future.
8. Remember that the HSC isn't just picking on you. It's picking on everyone. God even i'm hella stressed, exhausted, and demotivated. But then i remember that everything is temporary, and it'll all be worth it.

I hope this helps. Feel free to pm if u need to talk. 🙂
 

#RoadTo31Atar

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Repeating Y11 is a pretty bad idea considering the school year doesn't even line up and you would have to either not go to school for a term + summer holdays or go through a term of Y12 just start back at Y11. On top of that, you also waste a year of time which could be spent studying at uni.

It seems that your problem is that your marks are bad which can be fixed to an extent.

As much as you might want to keep Arabic, it might be better for you to drop it. The important thing is that it is better for you and not anyone else to drop it (classmates' scaling or whatever). You seem like you're putting in lots of effort, the subject is giving you a lot stress and most importantly in regards to your atar - you're getting low marks. You're at an unfair disadvantage compared to students who already speak the language, they can do no work and do well while you can try really hard and still do worse than them. The time spent on catching up on Arabic may be better spent on other subjects.

Doing bad in Y11 is not the end of your dreams of getting a good atar, whatever a good atar is to you. You seem like you're really stressing about getting a good atar but you're not thinking rationally about the best things you can do to get there. Also your motivation to get a good atar is not the best, it seems like your main purpose is to not be a failure in your parents' eyes and that you have to do really well to not be a failure.

If you know what you want to do after school, you can look at some courses to find out what you be interested in doing and what atar you really need to do it. The next thing is not 100% accurate but you could look at atar calculators to see what marks you need to get your atar as a rough plan. This could help give you some positive motivation to achieve your goals.
 

Velocifire

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Okay. The first thing to do here in regards to your parents is to recognize their hard effort (which you have done here) and use it as a catalyst for a source of motivation. You don't want to let their hard work in supporting you and your education go to waste. Personally, my parents have been separated and they are not the best financially, so I submit an oath towards myself and the people that wish me to do the best in my schooling life to doing well so I don't fall down the same pitfall as them in 10-15 years from this time onwards.

I have been downplaying myself since the dawn of time, even harassing and discriminating others over my own problems, which is something you never want to do, though I have learnt it the hard way from being frowned upon, in every trace of my movement, anywhere I go. I had episodes of much much worse things than just being scared of failing an exam or obtaining a bad grade in any subject, but once I realised my strengths and what I have accomplished so far, I realised there is more to life than I thought and that is still time to improve.

At the start of this year, i took Arabic Continuers as one of my hsc subjects, i wanted to take Beginners but that wasn’t an option for me as i have an arabic speaking background, though i've never been to arabic school in my life. On my first lesson in saturday school, I didn't even know the alphabet, so my teacher told me to drop it, but I stayed and worked my ass off in order to catch up with my fellow classmates who’ve been studying the language since they were children. Sure enough, I learned to read and write. It was the level of a child, but I was able to do it. My teacher, however, wasn't convinced, and kept telling me to drop it, but I kept refusing, because I knew that if I put in more effort then by the time year 12 rolls around I would be able to get good grades. My writing is slow and basic, it takes me time to progress the words and be able to write them on paper, so on my first writing exam, I was only able to write around 60 words in an hour, a quarter of what was required. I got 4/10 for that exam, and my teacher told me “you might as well drop the subject or you'll scale everyone down”

Im sorry but, those fucking words kept stabbing me so hard and im still not able to make it stop. She destroyed all the confidence I had in my abilities. She knew the progress i've been making, she knew all the effort i've put in in that class, and to hear shit like that instead of words of congratulate was hard enough as it is. But, it got worse, because i started to have feelings of self doubt and negative self talk. I cry on the train on my way to arabic school, because i know she doesn't see me as worthy or smart enough to be in her class, she thinks im stupid and wont benefit the class in anyway, rather the opposite.
Please, someone help.
The first thing to realise is that the words that bitch of a teacher is telling you should not be taken too literally and that there is always time to improve. Limits are supposed to be broken. Personally, I was given death stares in Year 10 for underperforming in Maths (5.3) and English and that I wasn't even allowed to do Advanced in their respective courses. However for me personally, it sets a "prove them wrong vibe" where my sole purpose at school is to overcome barriers that teachers and other students impose on me and send them to the next dimension. Who cares if you couldn't write 60 words in an hour, there is still time to improve and it does not indicate future performance. Before you know it, you could be able to write 400 words in that time limit. You could drop the subject based on your current peformance, but I do think them/you judging on that is always pretty bad (except for maths where 30% of the year 11 content will be assessed for the actual final hsc exam), so you can take what they said with a grain of salt and don't let them get to you.

I can say this with Advanced English, I got a 6/20 for my Creative in Term 1 and post-assignment marks, I have been given death-stares by my teacher and it signifies me to take the "walk-of-shame" to the class next door where they run English Standard. It gave me a panic attack and realised how crappy I was at English (AND IT COUNTS SO YEAH). I did not do the drop, continued to work hard on my own accord and got a 17 for my next assessment task which is in the Top 10. Keep refusing to drop. Year 11 results shouldn't tear u part unless it's MATH, if you do well in the prelim and try your absolute best in future assessment tasks, you should pull through.

I hope I addressed that there, bitchy teachers are annoying and for some subjects, I avoided entirely because the teacher was picky and annoying and even biased towards other students. Don't let it get to u, and even if it does hurt you, don't let it get to the subjects u are good at. LOOK AT YOUR ENGLISH!!! 85%, see keep your strengths fortified at least.

Okay, with Chem, I haven't been doing the best in it either. I think personally my English has been interfering. But I have this mindset. If I do really really really poor in one subject, I try to cover up in another subject as best as I can in order to make my report cleaner and to save my AVG Grade and perhaps hiding and a really sad me. There was a Chemistry Depth Study due one week after I submitted that failed creative, I knew I did shit for it so I decided to give it everything I've got. Do not let it define you. You will still get through, at the end of the day you will still have a house, eat dinner, go to bed, hang out with your friends.

Perhaps you can use your amazing Chemistry teacher as an advantage, for me my chem teacher is amazing too, and I stay back after school sometimes to get extra help, catch up on unclear concepts or even go through a past paper with them. Perhaps you can ask sir/miss to do that with you if they are free and willing, I'm pretty sure they would help you out (they want the best for you and want you to succeed!).


As for repeating, DO NOT REPEAT. There is still time. The only thing you should repeat is the continuous revision for prelim exams. Get those past-papers and notes done. Re-read your textbook, do whatever you want that will reinforce the content into your mind. I think there are some students on BoredOFStudies who also do Arabic and I'm pretty sure you can ping them if you want help or are seeking tips to improve given that your teacher is pretty lacklustre already and doesn't respect you as a student by indirectly forcing you to drop. For chem, ask your friendly teacher, or feel free to give anyone a pm that does chem (I'm ping friendly but I'm not that good at CHEM) but @jazz519 @TheShy and @hs17 as well as @B1andB2 are all really solid at chem and are all willing to help you out. I personally send textbook questions and they like to walk me through it despite their busy schedules.

This is not Velocifire/Alabaster or whatever name u call me btw. It's a combined effort of everyone's responses that were from the people that were there for me when I was feeling down.

And any advice from anyone else can be incorporated as well :)
 
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jojosiwa123

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Hey,
I can relate to some of your feelings- its tough knowing what your parents have done for u and not wanting to disappoint them. But remember, just like they mean everything to you, YOU mean everything to them.
I really think you need to have a chat with them. I've been in a similar position, and hidden my marks etc but after telling them that I was doing terribly in certain subjects they got me tutoring. Now that I'm in year 12, my marks for certain subjects have gotten worse- luckily I've been able to open up and now my parents are aware of this. MOST IMPORTANTLY I know, and I've made known to them that ATAR isn't be all end all and there are a million ways to get where you want to in Australia.
Much like you, I want to pursue medicine as well. I also have a number of friends in this EXACT same position- immigrant parents, the fear of disappointment, low grades and a desire to pursue law, medicine etc. Luckily we've all realised that we can get where we want by doing an undergrad degree, TAFE options etc etc.
TRUST ME- there are a MILLION ways to get where you want to. I know its hard losing confidence and you know what I'm not going to lie to you its difficult to get back to a stress free place. But everyone around you- your parents, friends, teachers- want the best for you, they will HELP YOU if you talk to them and tell them how you're feeling.

If that isn't an option- that's ok too. Yr 11 and prelims are just the beginning! You have all of year 12- a BRAND NEW START. You can use the summer holidays to catch up. Don't worry about what you don't know, just focus on learning what you CAN in the CURRENT MOMENT. And even if year 12 doesn't go the way you planned- don't lose hope, please!!!! Trust me there are other paths to get where you want to go and you have your ENTIRE life ahead of you. Your mental health and sanity are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than a number.
 

PikaAnime123

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Basically everything here. Also, to improve your mental health, make sure to have healthy and positive reinforcements (Such as enjoying time with close friends or spending more time with your parents...) to remind you that getting good marks in High School is not the only determining factor of allowing you a spot in University or for becoming a Doctor. You need to constantly remind yourself of your good points and the good things you've done to balance out the treatment your Arabic Teacher has given you, because everybody has those. Make sure you have people you can trust to talk to that can help de-evaluate any stress that you're feeling or if you just want to rant out something...

And even though you may seem frightened with the idea of disappointing your parents, you NEED to tell them everything you've experienced in your school, good or bad. Even about the marks you've gotten, or about the Arabics Teacher that constantly puts down your hard work, or how you feel so overwhelmed with everything. I guarantee they will not be disappointed with you. If your parents worked so hard for the sake of giving you a successful and happy life, the only time they would be disappointed of you is if you don't tell them anything before it becomes too late and your mental health deteriorates. Your parents must love you so to want to give you happiness, and they obiviously want to support you during times you feel like giving up. I'm sure your parents would value you being happy and healthy living life instead of you being so self-deprecating thinking that you can't do anything because you have no worth. Now that's more of an insult to the parents that gave you so much love if you were to be thinking that way...
 

jojosiwa123

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And I just want to add that please don't listen to your Arabic teacher. Learning ANY language is extremely difficult- think about the fact that even english is difficult for people who've grown up speaking it their whole lives!!!!
Her words are honestly a projection of whatever issues she's got going on herself- because no teacher should stoop so low as to crush a students spirits.
I honestly think this specific thing is something you need to inform your parents about- because just reading this makes me extremely enraged and sad- I can't begin to understand why a teacher is belittling you like this. PLEASE PLEASE don't listen to her words. You are putting in SO MUCH WORK!! I know from experience that specifically learning to read and write a language you've grown up around can be so so daunting because of the expectations of others, and of your comparison to the skills of others. But the amount of progress you have made in just these 7 or so months of year 11 is absolutely AMAZING- not many people can achieve this much, and especially not by spending just a few lessons a week.
Please know that the work you're putting in and your marks are completely fine for someone who's a beginner. I'm not so sure why they didn't allow you to do beginners. This could be something you need to discuss with your school (alongside your parents would be good because I'm sure they would be willing to fight for you).
I honestly wish you the best of luck for your future, don't lose hope because your life is just beginning!!!!
 

beetree1

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Hello reading this made me cry because I thought I was the only one that felt like this.
So I will share what I have come up with over the many sleepless nights of talking to myself, contemplating life.

Disclaimer: sorry if there's any typos in this I'm not going to proof read this my 4U Math Trial is in 2 days

Look it's totally normal for you to feel overwhelmed by all the work you need to understand and then go into an exam and smash it all out.
It's a good thing really, this amount of stress is just indicative of your own ambitions - you want to do well; you care about how you do, so you would feel the pressure when you think about failing. It is a much better starting point than not giving a shit about your results. You are on the right track.

I understand where you are coming from 100%. Coming from a first generation immigrant family where my parents also worked multiple jobs just so they could raise me and send me to tutoring and get into a good school etc., I completely understand and empathise with what you are talking about. I also study for my parents so that I don't disappoint them, and honestly, thats the most effective motivation there is for people like me. I think you should know that I am super proud of you for recognising this too, because so many of my peers just complain about how they don't want to study, because they're lazy - because they are still yet to realise how much their parents have gone through just for their education and their children's future.

This may be a bit too objective but I would recommend that you keep this motivation within yourself and more prominent than ever when you think about just why on earth you are studying. It will get you throughout the HSC year as it is what has worked for me.

But please keep in mind, the exams you are completing right now are PRELIMS not the actual HSC where your atar is calculated. Your pathway towards being the doctor you aspire to be is still open for you. I understand how other peoples' lack of faith in you would seem so sooo demotivating but at the end of the day, the only person that can determine your abilities is you. Honestly, FUCK them. They don't know you, or your capabilities. It is not up to them to judge what you can or can't do. If you put enough time and effort into focusing on the subject and just pushing through, you can definitely prove them wrong.

You have around 2 terms until the start of Year 12, and just as a reference, for prelims, I was yet to locate my motivations and spent the minimal amount of time studying my exams. As no surprise, I nearly bottomed my grade. Once I understood what I needed to do, and how to do it, I decided to spend time studying, and to be honest, I had no hope in myself. But now, I am in the top third of my grade in a top10 school. This just goes to show how your prelim performance is in NO WAY indicative of your atar, you have so much time ahead of you to improve, and prove your teachers and anyone who doubted you wrong. So I would not recommend repeating Year 11, but rather just study for your next exams in prep for Year 12 just so you know how to balance your studying and other activities next year.

Just keep in mind, that your results are indicative of how much time and effort you put into preparing for the exam. So if you are expecting good marks from studying the night before, think again. To get your desired marks, you MUST put in the time. :)

All in all, I wish you the best, just understand that you are capable of so sooooooo much more than you know. Don't let anyone make you think that you can't do something because they simply don't understand you or your circumstances. Don't lose hope in yourself, because I believe in you! If you need anyone to talk to, my PMs are open. Thank you for sharing your story though, it is really beautiful to know about someone who shares the same motivations as me haha
 
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quickoats

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Please remember that the HSC isn't the be all and end all of everything - it may seem like that at the moment but in reality it's just a tiny bit out of your life that doesn't mean much.

As for repeating year 11 - I'd say that it's probably best that you move straight onto year 12 as year 11 doesn't count anyway.

I was very ambitious, I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to make my parents proud, I didn't want their efforts to go to waste, I wanted to get a high atar, so how can I make these feelings go away? How can I tell myself I can do it and truly believe it?
Also remember that your parents will always be proud of you if you try your hardest. And the only way you can believe that 'you can do it' is if you put the best effort you can in given the circumstances (this involves maintaining your mental health and your social life). Even if you don't get there in the end, you can definitely be satisfied with yourself for giving it a damn good go. There are so many pathways to becoming a doctor - it just happens that the pathway straight out of high school has ridiculously high criteria. There are also many other healthcare professions which are more accessible that you can be proud of - nurses are actually the backbone of the hospital and none of the doctors could do it without them.

If you are feeling down or just need to vent, always know that there are friendly people here on BoS who are always happy to have a chat :)
 
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yooook

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My parents risked their lives and worked day and night to get me into this country. They did everything in their power so I could get the education they didn’t have access to. This has reminded me everyday to push myself further and do good at school, so my parents can finally see me going to university, something they never even thought of as an option for them. So why do I have no motivation to do well anymore, why is my ambition slipping out of my grasp? How can I stop this cycle of negative self talk that I have build this year? I don't know what to do.

At the start of this year, i took Arabic Continuers as one of my hsc subjects, i wanted to take Beginners but that wasn’t an option for me as i have an arabic speaking background, though i've never been to arabic school in my life. On my first lesson in saturday school, I didn't even know the alphabet, so my teacher told me to drop it, but I stayed and worked my ass off in order to catch up with my fellow classmates who’ve been studying the language since they were children. Sure enough, I learned to read and write. It was the level of a child, but I was able to do it. My teacher, however, wasn't convinced, and kept telling me to drop it, but I kept refusing, because I knew that if I put in more effort then by the time year 12 rolls around I would be able to get good grades. My writing is slow and basic, it takes me time to progress the words and be able to write them on paper, so on my first writing exam, I was only able to write around 60 words in an hour, a quarter of what was required. I got 4/10 for that exam, and my teacher told me “you might as well drop the subject or you'll scale everyone down”

Im sorry but, those fucking words kept stabbing me so hard and im still not able to make it stop. She destroyed all the confidence I had in my abilities. She knew the progress i've been making, she knew all the effort i've put in in that class, and to hear shit like that instead of words of congratulate was hard enough as it is. But, it got worse, because i started to have feelings of self doubt and negative self talk. I cry on the train on my way to arabic school, because i know she doesn't see me as worthy or smart enough to be in her class, she thinks im stupid and wont benefit the class in anyway, rather the opposite.

This didn't stop though, because these feelings made their way to my weekschool.

Chemistry 1st exam- 20/24
Chemistry Depth Study- 17/30
Chemistry 2nd exam- 2/40

I have the most amazing chemistry teacher, she has so much passion for the subject and so much knowledge. I've always been thrilled for what we were going to learn in each lesson. After the incident with my arabic teacher, my participation and enthusiasm started to disappear, until I became one of the quietest students in that class. Everytime i sit in that class and want to ask a question, i open my mouth and then close it back down in fear that ill say something stupid, that my question was already answered, that my teacher will think im stupid. I've never been like this before, I'm very outgoing and bubbly, I learn by interacting and asking questions, but now it's not like that anymore. I dont even know whats going on in my class anymore, im so behind in chemistry yet eveyrtime i open my book to study i start to get overwhelmed and cry, telling myself its too hard and im too stupid to understand it anyway.
I was very ambitious, I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to make my parents proud, I didn't want their efforts to go to waste, I wanted to get a high atar, so how can I make these feelings go away? How can I tell myself I can do it and truly believe it? How can I gain my confidence back? I want to do well in prelims, but I'm so behind. I don't think i can.
Someone please help me, give me advice, what should I do??

My parents are everything to me, and I don't want them to know what I'm going through. I was thinking about repeating year 11, but I don't even know how to bring it up.

Please, someone help.
Basically.....LOOK. You're in yr 11, stop stressing, nothing to stress about. I flunked all everything in yr 11 and am doing really good in school rn (top 3 for physics. 1st business, 4 bio etc). Chemistry rn may be hard, but as soon as you go into year 12 you have a fresh slate. everything is new.


As for Arabic continuers, keep it DONT DROP. you're fine. keep practising and even ask your PARENTS to tutor you. they would be happy to teach u I am guessing. if you get to year 12 and by the end are first, you can spit at the feet of your Arabic teacher and be like. DID I DRAG ANYONE DOWN OR DID I PULL EVERY! UP?. keep pushing, don't stop, we at Bored of studies are very bored with studying but we are here for you. the pressure doesn't even matter. you're fine and we all believe in you.


Looking for motivation? score high marks on your first assessments in year 12 and that's what will really motivate you, you will want to maintain those RANKS!!!:::))). get good relationships with teachers and if ur scared to ask questions, ask them after the class. teachers don't give a shit, they love when students ask questions.'


I am an aspiring therapist/psychology. DM if you wanna chat.
 

Kyufruit

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Thank you so much guys. Ive never got such bad marks before and these feelings of self doubt are so foreign to me i didn’t know what to do. I’m really glad I let it out, i feel like a got something off my shoulders.

Ill talk to my parents and tell them how I’m struggling with Arabic, and ill let them decided wether I should get tutored or I should drop it. I won’t let my teachers words get to me, i want to now prove her wrong.
Im struggling with chemistry, but yes as you guys said there’s still time, ill study my heart out and I’ll ace my prelims, thats a promise.

Ive decided to not repeat, you guys are right, that’ll just be a waste as year 11 doesn’t count towards my atar, ill just work hard to catch up with everything.

itll be hard but it’s okay, im okay. I always put my mental health on the side and now I have seen the consequences, I will take care of myself too.

thank you everyone, I’m really glad I posted this, I need much better now and know how to deal with the situation.
 
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yooook

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noiciiiiiiiiccccceeeeeeeeeeeee the boysyssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
 

SplashJuice

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I'll be straight up honest.


You're kinda creating a huge meaning out of just failing a few subjects in Year 11, in the big picture it doesn't mattter at all and it can always be improved and worked on.

I had a friend who came from 1st generation immigrant parents, he was undisciplined and though he went to tutoring for selective, he ended up going to his local school (Rank 400+) because he never studied, he dishonored his parents by slacking off even though they invested so much time and effort into him.

As predicted, he mixed in with the wrong crowd, started doing drugs, getting into fights during the years 7-10 and got suspended at the end of Year 10. How do you think the parents feel, so much hard work, so much struggling and moving countries all to raise a child like that? I'd be guessing the parents were more than sad. Anyways the suspension at the end of Year 10 changed him and a few other events which I can't state publically and he realized all his wrongdoings, how he dishonoured his parents.

He stayed at his rank 400 school and started working hard at the beginning of Year 11 all the way till the end of Year 12. His atar was like 96 at the end, that may not be the best and some people are unsatisfied with that result, however both him and his parents were happy so that's all that matters. All I'm trying to say is don't be too saddened by what happened because there have been countless examples of people like that and whom were much worse off than your situation.

Good luck!
 

Auzendriel

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Okay. The first thing to do here in regards to your parents is to recognize their hard effort (which you have done here) and use it as a catalyst for a source of motivation. You don't want to let their hard work in supporting you and your education go to waste. Personally, my parents have been separated and they are not the best financially, so I submit an oath towards myself and the people that wish me to do the best in my schooling life to doing well so I don't fall down the same pitfall as them in 10-15 years from this time onwards.

I have been downplaying myself since the dawn of time, even harassing and discriminating others over my own problems, which is something you never want to do, though I have learnt it the hard way from being frowned upon, in every trace of my movement, anywhere I go. I had episodes of much much worse things than just being scared of failing an exam or obtaining a bad grade in any subject, but once I realised my strengths and what I have accomplished so far, I realised there is more to life than I thought and that is still time to improve.



The first thing to realise is that the words that bitch of a teacher is telling you should not be taken too literally and that there is always time to improve. Limits are supposed to be broken. Personally, I was given death stares in Year 10 for underperforming in Maths (5.3) and English and that I wasn't even allowed to do Advanced in their respective courses. However for me personally, it sets a "prove them wrong vibe" where my sole purpose at school is to overcome barriers that teachers and other students impose on me and send them to the next dimension. Who cares if you couldn't write 60 words in an hour, there is still time to improve and it does not indicate future performance. Before you know it, you could be able to write 400 words in that time limit. You could drop the subject based on your current peformance, but I do think them/you judging on that is always pretty bad (except for maths where 30% of the year 11 content will be assessed for the actual final hsc exam), so you can take what they said with a grain of salt and don't let them get to you.

I can say this with Advanced English, I got a 6/20 for my Creative in Term 1 and post-assignment marks, I have been given death-stares by my teacher and it signifies me to take the "walk-of-shame" to the class next door where they run English Standard. It gave me a panic attack and realised how crappy I was at English (AND IT COUNTS SO YEAH). I did not do the drop, continued to work hard on my own accord (screw the teacher) and got a 17 for my next assessment task which is in the Top 10. Keep refusing to drop. Year 11 results shouldn't tear u part unless it's MATH, if you do well in the prelim and try your absolute best in future assessment tasks, you should pull through.

I hope I addressed that there, bitchy teachers are annoying and for some subjects, I avoided entirely because the teacher was picky and annoying and even biased towards other students. Don't let it get to u, and even if it does hurt you, don't let it get to the subjects u are good at. LOOK AT YOUR ENGLISH!!! 85%, see keep your strengths fortified at least.

Okay, with Chem, I haven't been doing the best in it either. I think personally my English has been interfering. But I have this mindset. If I do really really really poor in one subject, I try to cover up in another subject as best as I can in order to make my report cleaner and to save my AVG Grade and perhaps hiding and a really sad me. There was a Chemistry Depth Study due one week after I submitted that failed creative, I knew I did shit for it so I decided to give it everything I've got. Do not let it define you. You will still get through, at the end of the day you will still have a house, eat dinner, go to bed, hang out with your friends.

Perhaps you can use your amazing Chemistry teacher as an advantage, for me my chem teacher is amazing too, and I stay back after school sometimes to get extra help, catch up on unclear concepts or even go through a past paper with them. Perhaps you can ask sir/miss to do that with you if they are free and willing, I'm pretty sure they would help you out (they want the best for you and want you to succeed!).


As for repeating, DO NOT REPEAT. There is still time. The only thing you should repeat is the continuous revision for prelim exams. Get those past-papers and notes done. Re-read your textbook, do whatever you want that will reinforce the content into your mind. I think there are some students on BoredOFStudies who also do Arabic and I'm pretty sure you can ping them if you want help or are seeking tips to improve given that your teacher is pretty lacklustre already and doesn't respect you as a student by indirectly forcing you to drop. For chem, ask your friendly teacher, or feel free to give anyone a pm that does chem (I'm ping friendly but I'm not that good at CHEM) but @jazz519 @TheShy and @hs17 as well as @B1andB2 are all really solid at chem and are all willing to help you out. I personally send textbook questions and they like to walk me through it despite their busy schedules.

This is not Velocifire/Alabaster or whatever name u call me btw. It's a combined effort of everyone's responses that were from the people that were there for me when I was feeling down.

And any advice from anyone else can be incorporated as well :)
This was excellent
 

mikrokosmos

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My parents risked their lives and worked day and night to get me into this country. They did everything in their power so I could get the education they didn’t have access to. This has reminded me everyday to push myself further and do good at school, so my parents can finally see me going to university, something they never even thought of as an option for them. So why do I have no motivation to do well anymore, why is my ambition slipping out of my grasp? How can I stop this cycle of negative self talk that I have build this year? I don't know what to do.

At the start of this year, i took Arabic Continuers as one of my hsc subjects, i wanted to take Beginners but that wasn’t an option for me as i have an arabic speaking background, though i've never been to arabic school in my life. On my first lesson in saturday school, I didn't even know the alphabet, so my teacher told me to drop it, but I stayed and worked my ass off in order to catch up with my fellow classmates who’ve been studying the language since they were children. Sure enough, I learned to read and write. It was the level of a child, but I was able to do it. My teacher, however, wasn't convinced, and kept telling me to drop it, but I kept refusing, because I knew that if I put in more effort then by the time year 12 rolls around I would be able to get good grades. My writing is slow and basic, it takes me time to progress the words and be able to write them on paper, so on my first writing exam, I was only able to write around 60 words in an hour, a quarter of what was required. I got 4/10 for that exam, and my teacher told me “you might as well drop the subject or you'll scale everyone down”

Im sorry but, those fucking words kept stabbing me so hard and im still not able to make it stop. She destroyed all the confidence I had in my abilities. She knew the progress i've been making, she knew all the effort i've put in in that class, and to hear shit like that instead of words of congratulate was hard enough as it is. But, it got worse, because i started to have feelings of self doubt and negative self talk. I cry on the train on my way to arabic school, because i know she doesn't see me as worthy or smart enough to be in her class, she thinks im stupid and wont benefit the class in anyway, rather the opposite.

This didn't stop though, because these feelings made their way to my weekschool.

Chemistry 1st exam- 20/24
Chemistry Depth Study- 17/30
Chemistry 2nd exam- 2/40

I have the most amazing chemistry teacher, she has so much passion for the subject and so much knowledge. I've always been thrilled for what we were going to learn in each lesson. After the incident with my arabic teacher, my participation and enthusiasm started to disappear, until I became one of the quietest students in that class. Everytime i sit in that class and want to ask a question, i open my mouth and then close it back down in fear that ill say something stupid, that my question was already answered, that my teacher will think im stupid. I've never been like this before, I'm very outgoing and bubbly, I learn by interacting and asking questions, but now it's not like that anymore. I dont even know whats going on in my class anymore, im so behind in chemistry yet eveyrtime i open my book to study i start to get overwhelmed and cry, telling myself its too hard and im too stupid to understand it anyway.
I was very ambitious, I wanted to be a doctor, I wanted to make my parents proud, I didn't want their efforts to go to waste, I wanted to get a high atar, so how can I make these feelings go away? How can I tell myself I can do it and truly believe it? How can I gain my confidence back? I want to do well in prelims, but I'm so behind. I don't think i can.
Someone please help me, give me advice, what should I do??

My parents are everything to me, and i don't want them to know what i'm going through. I was thinking about repeating year 11, but i don't even know how to bring it up.

Please, someone help.
hey honey! dont hesitate to message me if you wanna talk some more x

thank you to everybody else for the supportive messages! i just want to tell you that im so happy that you are grateful for your parents. as for your grades, and motivation - try and get some self discipline! you seem to have some sort of burn out - which im still recovering from. if you have enough units, drop arabic at the end of year 11! if not, invest a lot of your time on it. use that hate from your teacher as fuel to burn when you work hard. i believe in you b!
please do not ignore your mental health. talk to someone on the beyond blue chat or call (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support) or even your school psychologist/counsellor!!
message me if you ever need any help or resources. if you can, try tutoring! https://highschooltutors.com.au/ has some good private tutors. there was a thread the other day for good tutoring centers too! have a look there and talk to your parents. make sure you let them know you're grateful!

once again, take care of yourself and message me if you need anything! you can get through it <3
 

exojun

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I hope you're feeling a little better, there has been some really wholesome advice on this thread and i urge you to follow them. Luckily, your in year 11 so there is time for you to improve. I agree with the others in saying that if Arabic is taking up a lot of your time and you find yourself continuing to struggle it would be in YOUR best interests to drop the subject for YOURSELF, not for you teacher or your peers but for yourself. The HSC ultimately is a race against yourself, although you are competing against the whole year 12 cohort, whats more important is the race internally, to prove your abilities to yourself and i have no doubt that you will be able to do so.

Just a little Chemistry insight. I have a friend who consistently did not so well in her Chem exams in year 11. At the end of the year she was ranked at the bottom of the grade. She later talked to our chem teacher (who is not very good) and asked him whether it was a bad decision to take chem into year 12, to which he said "No, it's not a bad idea, i think you will be fine." This year, this friend is ranked in the top 20 out of 85 chemistry students (I go to top 5 ranked selective school, so this sort of rank is VERY good). This just goes to show that consistent effort and drive is all that it needed to achieve outstanding marks. Your chem teacher is there to answer your questions, use your resources - although sometimes it may not seem like it, they do want to help you!

I hope everything goes well next year! Good Luck !
 

wavohoh890

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Hey, I graduated a few months ago, but I struggled with school since Year 10 and I hope that I can give some helpful advice.

First of all, your mental health is super important. Like, I can't emphasise it enough because I know how easy it is in this stressful stage of life to think that nothing is important except for school. But if your mental health isn't good and you feel stressed and unhappy all the time, there's no way you can do well in school. So please prioritise your mental health.

Secondly, I relate to your experiences with Arabic, since I had a very similar experience with Chinese. Was failing it, told by teachers I should probably not take it. I ended up dropping it after Year 11 because it was taking up so much of my time that I knew it would affect my results in other subjects. So definitely consider that. But I also understand that as a heritage language it might be hard for you to drop it (parental, personal, societal pressure) and that having already invested so much time in it that's also a factor. Talking to your parents is a good idea; I dropped Chinese after having a heart-to-heart with my folks and getting them to understand how I felt. I guess my advice isn't that useful here but just know that there's definitely lots of people who have been in your position and struggled in a similar way to you and that you're absolutely not alone in this.

Thirdly, Chemistry is hard. Absolutely, it is. There's a lot to learn and understand and then apply and so on and so forth. And the way that Chemistry works is quite different to how you learn about science-y things before you get to this stage in learning. But it's not impossible. My subject-specific advice is as follows:
  1. Work out what exactly it is that you don't understand. Sometimes in Chemistry a small misunderstanding at a very early stage can lead to a lot of confusion later on. I was on track to fail my exams in Year 11 because I didn't learn how chemical reactions worked properly. So figure out what you don't know/understand properly and fix that stuff as soon as possible.
  2. Ask for help! I was so intimidated by the idea of needing help that I didn't ask a single teacher for help until it was nearly too late. To be honest, it didn't help that I had a very intimidating and kind of condescending Chemistry teacher in Year 11 :/ but that's not an excuse at all. Ask your teacher, or if they aren't nice/good at teaching ask another Chemistry teacher. Or ask your parents if you can get tutoring. Or ask someone on the internet (people are usually very willing to help!). But please ask for help.
  3. Do a lot of practise. Make sure you know how you're meant to answer questions, and what skills you need to have to get questions right. Do that and you'll have a good chance with your exams.
Fourthly and lastly, please know that nothing is impossible to do if you try hard enough. My Chinese teacher told my parents that the best I would do in the subject is scrape a pass. I ended up with a B. I have a friend who has severe ADHD who has just gotten accepted to a Medicine course. You can do it, just work hard, stay positive in your heart, and take care of yourself.

This has gotten way too long and rambly but please know that everyone on this forum is here to help and support each other and you'll do well as long as you keep yourself healthy and work hard at the same time.
 

Master Singleton

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@Kyufruit I've struggled with ADHD since primary school with not so great grades and I've worked twice as hard and tried to ignore the naysayers to the best of my abilities and still bombed during the HSC but managed to grind ahead and proved the naysayers wrong by getting Into my dream undergraduate degree at Western Sydney University and worked extra hard and now studying at University of Sydney my dream University for postgraduate studies proving everyone of the naysayers wrong in the process. So if you are passionate about Arabic Continuers try and find a private tutor with a similar attitude like your Chemistry teacher at school; work twice as hard and prove your Arabic School Teacher wrong in the process by getting consistently high marks during year 12.
 

robertwilson01

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Hey, I just saw and read your post thoroughly, please don't panic and obsessed with these low grades, as in today's digital world, there are many ways you can help yourself.

before moving ahead I like to say that please don't hesitate to message me if you wanna talk.

And also, special thanks to everyone who has been so supportive of their message. I can understand this means a lot. Don't lose patience and hope everything can be achieved with hard work and hard work only pays when you do it on a right track. You seem like a great boy who loves his family and I hope they love you the same that's why they shifted you to a better country in hope that you get a better life. You can learn any language or subject with ! with reasonable price. Don't waste time on what you don't know, instead move ahead with learning and grow better each day.
Let me know if you need help with anything, I'm available here, and once again take care of yourself and message me if you need anything!
 

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