BOS Showcase: 2009 Major Works (2 Viewers)

[-Onlooker-]

Alrighty everyone, I've just come back from an 18th and am still a little tipsy (composing this sentence is an effort), but will post my major work tonight, as I really want/need some reassurance in feedback.

Title: 'quick fix, cheap thrill'
Medium: Poetry


Hope everyone likes it Will read all of yours tomorrow morning and post my response. Can't wait to see marcquelle's in particular...upload it on a myspace music account or something! Or PM me...really want to heat it in its entirety.

PS- I know it seems a massive effort to try and understand the poetry, but I've tried to make it as accessible to a general audience as possible, by contemplating popular culture. Just have a read, you might be surprised!

Best piece of poetry I have EVER read and mind you! I've read quite a bit.

 

[diametric]

alex.leon: wowie. really good. like, reeally. i was impressed by your concentration on the one topic, never wavering from the one notion.. but I also found that a bit numbing, and wanted some variation as I got closer to the end. RS was tops, way, wayy better than mine. I think you'll do spectacularly come results day. congrats.

 

[alex.leon]

diametric: I am in awe of your prose. Honestly, I love the way you shape your sentences, and I love your lyrical sensibility. I felt engaged and invested in the story from the beginning (also, great event to start on- captivating without being morbid). Awesome, awesome work!

 

[alex.leon]

alex.leon: wowie. really good. like, reeally. i was impressed by your concentration on the one topic, never wavering from the one notion.. but I also found that a bit numbing, and wanted some variation as I got closer to the end. RS was tops, way, wayy better than mine. I think you'll do spectacularly come results day. congrats.

Cheers! I'm sure you'll do fantastically too, I really enjoyed your story.

Best piece of poetry I have EVER read and mind you! I've read quite a bit.

Wow, thanks! Have you posted yours up?

 

[alen.d]

so didn't know you were on bored of studies mel!
makes sense at how you get your awesome marks!

*sigh* what the heck.

Title: All That Glitters Gold
Medium: Short Story


asdlfkjdlskjf

 

[Asubmarine]

Just read alex.leon's. Found it a really enjoyable and interesting experience.

Stylistically it's not what I normally go for in poetry. Not in terms of like poetic structure/meter but more the way the ideas are developed. I find your poetry very direct (for lack of a better word), it seems to work very hard to spell out its themes of anti-consumerism. Not that that's a bad thing, i'm just more inclined towards a less linear poetics.

I also read ur RS before the actual poetry and i'm kind of uneasy about ur definition of post-modernism in poetry. Anyway in spite of this initial cynicism I found myself enjoying alot of your artistic sensibilities. I liked the way you built your poems up to climactic points. As I read I pretty consistently noticed "that line" of the poem. You know, not a "hook" like in a pop song, but the subtle lines that make each poem exponentially better just for their inclusion. "black-lipped, Picasso faces" really did it for me, and "slit me open with pop art prospects" was a fantastic line. There were heaps of memorable bits like these, but I won't quote them all haha

So well done, it's a work that you should be proud of. By the end you definitely had me won over.

Anyway here's mine: Poetry, MW+RS, Water/Sounds
View attachment 19123 (RS at end)

 

[alex.leon]

Just read alex.leon's. Found it a really enjoyable and interesting experience.

Stylistically it's not what I normally go for in poetry. Not in terms of like poetic structure/meter but more the way the ideas are developed. I find your poetry very direct (for lack of a better word), it seems to work very hard to spell out its themes of anti-consumerism. Not that that's a bad thing, i'm just more inclined towards a less linear poetics.

I also read ur RS before the actual poetry and i'm kind of uneasy about ur definition of post-modernism in poetry. Anyway in spite of this initial cynicism I found myself enjoying alot of your artistic sensibilities. I liked the way you built your poems up to climactic points. As I read I pretty consistently noticed "that line" of the poem. You know, not a "hook" like in a pop song, but the subtle lines that make each poem exponentially better just for their inclusion. "black-lipped, Picasso faces" really did it for me, and "slit me open with pop art prospects" was a fantastic line. There were heaps of memorable bits like these, but I won't quote them all haha

So well done, it's a work that you should be proud of. By the end you definitely had me won over.

Anyway here's mine: Poetry, MW+RS, Water/Sounds
View attachment 19123 (RS at end)

Thankyou so much I'm glad you enjoyed the work.

I'm going to tackle yours tonight. From skimming through, I think our poetic aesthetics (teehee, im a poet) are very different. But I like the look of yours, and have read the RS. Expect feedback soon!

 

[Asubmarine]

cheers, I look forward to it

 

[-Onlooker-]

Cheers! I'm sure you'll do fantastically too, I really enjoyed your story.



Wow, thanks! Have you posted yours up?

I didn't do EE2 as I am in no way as capable as you!

 

[six demon bag]

Here is mine

Medium: Radio Drama
Title: Vampires + Bees = Comedy?

if you would like to hear the sound file please pm and i'll be glad to email as i cannot upload anywhere for some unknown reason lols

I'm up to page 4 and I'm already loling lots. And the title aswell - love it!

 

[six demon bag]

Alrighty everyone, I've just come back from an 18th and am still a little tipsy (composing this sentence is an effort), but will post my major work tonight, as I really want/need some reassurance in feedback.

Title: 'quick fix, cheap thrill'
Medium: Poetry


Hope everyone likes it Will read all of yours tomorrow morning and post my response. Can't wait to see marcquelle's in particular...upload it on a myspace music account or something! Or PM me...really want to heat it in its entirety.

PS- I know it seems a massive effort to try and understand the poetry, but I've tried to make it as accessible to a general audience as possible, by contemplating popular culture. Just have a read, you might be surprised!

EDIT: Not even the final version of RS...oops.

I'm still reading it and the more i do, the more i love it!
I love the way you've set this out. My favourites are call the dictionary! plasticity has a new meaning, retail therapy: a recognised practice, because you can’t eat endorphins, buy - i just keep writing more as i read them. Ah and pop memorabilia, paparazzinazi, your children and your children's children. I just love them all - you'd better get a fantastic mark! haha

 

[marcquelle]

I'm up to page 4 and I'm already loling lots. And the title aswell - love it!

Thanks, my teacher never saw the humour in it.

 

[six demon bag]

Your teacher's a bell end. haha. But they probably aren't really. I thought it was really good - I'd like to hear a recording - I was imagining all the voices in my head.

 

[marcquelle]

if you'd like to hear i can email it through (mind you the recording is a bit iffy but meh, whats done is done)

 

[Scinery]

Im so scared for mine i'd love your thoughts. Read the reflection statement too=]

MEDIUM: Theatre Script!
TITLE: Desperanto


I'll be reading all the ones you guys have posted. i reckon year 12 major works are often much better than many actual stories lol.

 

[marcquelle]

Im so scared for mine i'd love your thoughts. Read the reflection statement too=]

MEDIUM: Theatre Script!
TITLE: Desperanto


I'll be reading all the ones you guys have posted. i reckon year 12 major works are often much better than many actual stories lol.

lols i love how tracking was still on , your teacher's comments or a friend?

 

[alex.leon]

lols i love how tracking was still on , your teacher's comments or a friend?

Am currently listening to yours at the moment, marcquelle. Hilarious!

Just up to anti-hobo spray ad break hahaahah.

PS- noiiiice austrian accent...is that you!?!

PPS- 'i don't swing that way buddy...just up and down' AHAHAHAHAHA

 

[accio.brain]

so didn't know you were on bored of studies mel!
makes sense at how you get your awesome marks!

haha, alen!
same to you..

 

[marcquelle]

no the austrain accent is my friend Tom, i'm the announcer. I took the lazy part. hahaha.

EDIT: I'm the one with the bad acting

 

[six demon bag]

love it marquelle. i love the "you mean you must defecate?" thing and emotional guitar.

i loved the pope's contraceptive message and the crazy piano and all those wild screams...
and bra-burning garduation and the "boing" sound effect.

haha - simon says is best ending