BOS Showcase: 2009 Major Works (2 Viewers)

-Onlooker-

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Alrighty everyone, I've just come back from an 18th and am still a little tipsy (composing this sentence is an effort), but will post my major work tonight, as I really want/need some reassurance in feedback.

Title: 'quick fix, cheap thrill'
Medium: Poetry


Hope everyone likes it :) Will read all of yours tomorrow morning and post my response. Can't wait to see marcquelle's in particular...upload it on a myspace music account or something! Or PM me...really want to heat it in its entirety.

PS- I know it seems a massive effort to try and understand the poetry, but I've tried to make it as accessible to a general audience as possible, by contemplating popular culture. Just have a read, you might be surprised!

Best piece of poetry I have EVER read and mind you! I've read quite a bit.
 

diametric

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alex.leon: wowie. really good. like, reeally. i was impressed by your concentration on the one topic, never wavering from the one notion.. but I also found that a bit numbing, and wanted some variation as I got closer to the end. RS was tops, way, wayy better than mine. I think you'll do spectacularly come results day. congrats.
 

alex.leon

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diametric: I am in awe of your prose. Honestly, I love the way you shape your sentences, and I love your lyrical sensibility. I felt engaged and invested in the story from the beginning (also, great event to start on- captivating without being morbid). Awesome, awesome work!
 

alex.leon

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alex.leon: wowie. really good. like, reeally. i was impressed by your concentration on the one topic, never wavering from the one notion.. but I also found that a bit numbing, and wanted some variation as I got closer to the end. RS was tops, way, wayy better than mine. I think you'll do spectacularly come results day. congrats.
Cheers! I'm sure you'll do fantastically too, I really enjoyed your story.

Best piece of poetry I have EVER read and mind you! I've read quite a bit.
Wow, thanks! Have you posted yours up?
 

Asubmarine

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Just read alex.leon's. Found it a really enjoyable and interesting experience.

Stylistically it's not what I normally go for in poetry. Not in terms of like poetic structure/meter but more the way the ideas are developed. I find your poetry very direct (for lack of a better word), it seems to work very hard to spell out its themes of anti-consumerism. Not that that's a bad thing, i'm just more inclined towards a less linear poetics.

I also read ur RS before the actual poetry and i'm kind of uneasy about ur definition of post-modernism in poetry. Anyway in spite of this initial cynicism I found myself enjoying alot of your artistic sensibilities. I liked the way you built your poems up to climactic points. As I read I pretty consistently noticed "that line" of the poem. You know, not a "hook" like in a pop song, but the subtle lines that make each poem exponentially better just for their inclusion. "black-lipped, Picasso faces" really did it for me, and "slit me open with pop art prospects" was a fantastic line. There were heaps of memorable bits like these, but I won't quote them all haha

So well done, it's a work that you should be proud of. By the end you definitely had me won over.

Anyway here's mine: Poetry, MW+RS, Water/Sounds
View attachment 19123 (RS at end)
 

alex.leon

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Just read alex.leon's. Found it a really enjoyable and interesting experience.

Stylistically it's not what I normally go for in poetry. Not in terms of like poetic structure/meter but more the way the ideas are developed. I find your poetry very direct (for lack of a better word), it seems to work very hard to spell out its themes of anti-consumerism. Not that that's a bad thing, i'm just more inclined towards a less linear poetics.

I also read ur RS before the actual poetry and i'm kind of uneasy about ur definition of post-modernism in poetry. Anyway in spite of this initial cynicism I found myself enjoying alot of your artistic sensibilities. I liked the way you built your poems up to climactic points. As I read I pretty consistently noticed "that line" of the poem. You know, not a "hook" like in a pop song, but the subtle lines that make each poem exponentially better just for their inclusion. "black-lipped, Picasso faces" really did it for me, and "slit me open with pop art prospects" was a fantastic line. There were heaps of memorable bits like these, but I won't quote them all haha

So well done, it's a work that you should be proud of. By the end you definitely had me won over.

Anyway here's mine: Poetry, MW+RS, Water/Sounds
View attachment 19123 (RS at end)

Thankyou so much :) I'm glad you enjoyed the work.

I'm going to tackle yours tonight. From skimming through, I think our poetic aesthetics (teehee, im a poet) are very different. But I like the look of yours, and have read the RS. Expect feedback soon!
 

six demon bag

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Alrighty everyone, I've just come back from an 18th and am still a little tipsy (composing this sentence is an effort), but will post my major work tonight, as I really want/need some reassurance in feedback.

Title: 'quick fix, cheap thrill'
Medium: Poetry


Hope everyone likes it Will read all of yours tomorrow morning and post my response. Can't wait to see marcquelle's in particular...upload it on a myspace music account or something! Or PM me...really want to heat it in its entirety.

PS- I know it seems a massive effort to try and understand the poetry, but I've tried to make it as accessible to a general audience as possible, by contemplating popular culture. Just have a read, you might be surprised!

EDIT: Not even the final version of RS...oops.
I'm still reading it and the more i do, the more i love it!
I love the way you've set this out. My favourites are call the dictionary! plasticity has a new meaning, retail therapy: a recognised practice, because you can’t eat endorphins, buy - i just keep writing more as i read them. Ah and pop memorabilia, paparazzinazi, your children and your children's children. I just love them all - you'd better get a fantastic mark! haha
 

six demon bag

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Your teacher's a bell end. haha. But they probably aren't really. I thought it was really good - I'd like to hear a recording - I was imagining all the voices in my head.
 

marcquelle

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if you'd like to hear i can email it through (mind you the recording is a bit iffy but meh, whats done is done)
 

Scinery

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Im so scared for mine i'd love your thoughts. Read the reflection statement too=]

MEDIUM: Theatre Script!
TITLE: Desperanto


I'll be reading all the ones you guys have posted. i reckon year 12 major works are often much better than many actual stories lol.
 
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marcquelle

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Im so scared for mine i'd love your thoughts. Read the reflection statement too=]

MEDIUM: Theatre Script!
TITLE: Desperanto


I'll be reading all the ones you guys have posted. i reckon year 12 major works are often much better than many actual stories lol.
lols i love how tracking was still on :D, your teacher's comments or a friend?
 

alex.leon

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lols i love how tracking was still on :D, your teacher's comments or a friend?
Am currently listening to yours at the moment, marcquelle. Hilarious!

Just up to anti-hobo spray ad break hahaahah.

PS- noiiiice austrian accent...is that you!?!

PPS- 'i don't swing that way buddy...just up and down' AHAHAHAHAHA
 

marcquelle

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no the austrain accent is my friend Tom, i'm the announcer. I took the lazy part. hahaha.

EDIT: I'm the one with the bad acting
 
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six demon bag

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love it marquelle. i love the "you mean you must defecate?" thing and emotional guitar.

i loved the pope's contraceptive message and the crazy piano and all those wild screams...
and bra-burning garduation and the "boing" sound effect.

haha - simon says is best ending
 

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