Love Poem to a girl I like? part 1 (1 Viewer)

Dream-Big

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hi my name is joey. i'm doing mechencial engineering at the University of techonology sydney and i'm first year. I really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me. i'm sad for this. that's why i will write her a poem, but i didn't do 4unit english, only standard english with a mark of band 2.

Love poem -

your eyes are wide closed
when my eyes are opened
why is this?
Is the your world not good for me
Or thy shall be no more?
CAPS! Ha! I suprised you!
For making this a sad moment for the
and shall my world not be with you
i will find another soul mate
and shall be greater than the
and i found the just now
and until and thy, i will find love
with thy,


Do you like my poem? sorry for the grammar and spelling, i don't like english but writing a poem might help her like me again..

I try to use words from shakespeare which makes it look smarted

thanks.name is joey
 

T-R-O-L-O-L

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Wtf?
Nah sounds good. Just make sure the grammar is up to scratch.
 

Axio

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Love poem -

your eyes are closed
when my eyes are open
why is this?
Is your world not good enough for me
Or thy shall be no more?
CAPS! Ha! I surprised you!
For making this a sad moment
and shall my world not be with you
I will find another soul mate
but I hope with you, I will find love, with thee

^ I think this makes a bit more grammatical sense. The poem is a bit aggressive as well as being a bit weird in general...
 
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Maxwell

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hi my name is joey. i'm doing mechencial engineering at the University of techonology sydney and i'm first year. I really like this girl but I think she doesn't like me. i'm sad for this. that's why i will write her a poem, but i didn't do 4unit english, only standard english with a mark of band 2.

Love poem -

your eyes are wide closed
when my eyes are opened
why is this?
Is the your world not good for me
Or thy shall be no more?
CAPS! Ha! I suprised you!
For making this a sad moment for the
and shall my world not be with you
i will find another soul mate
and shall be greater than the
and i found the just now
and until and thy, i will find love
with thy,


Do you like my poem? sorry for the grammar and spelling, i don't like english but writing a poem might help her like me again..

I try to use words from shakespeare which makes it look smarted

thanks.name is joey
Your use of enjambment for effect is perfect. Very abstract. 10/10
should've done 4u english tbh
Make sure that after you read it to her you provide an analysis. You'll seem even more smarted and she'll be all over u like a fat kid with cake
 
Last edited:

wannaspoon

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just ask her out; if she says no, move on; if she says yes, jackpot... no poems required... kids these days...
 

tofusenpai

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You should check out this poet Lang Leav. She writes nice genuine lyrics that aren't overly cheesy or anything but it's more boy to girl but yea you can get inspiration from her poems
 

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