and we're DONE! (1 Viewer)

[jhakka]

like maggots slithering out of the eye sockets of a month-old corpse the rubbery limbs stretched their way across the bed, the floor and out the door, narrowly missing the terrified mother frozen with fear and awe...

.... they created slime, and then some grime. Why, oh why, did we make this rhyme?

...

 

[bitchymcbitch]

.... they created slime, and then some grime. Why, oh why, did we make this rhyme?

...

and the time carried onto no avail the maggots kept eating the body kept rotting and people passed by unnoticed and unannounced. However

 

[Hippy La-Laa]

...one day there was a tsunami.

 

[mayhemily]

It was no ordinary tsunami. Infused with a ancient magic, the tsunami swept up the remains of John and returned him to his previous constitution. All was well. Or was it...

 

[jhakka]

It was no ordinary tsunami. Infused with a ancient magic, the tsunami swept up the remains of John and returned him to his previous constitution. All was well. Or was it...

Those thoughts were completely useless, however, as I realised that the tsunami had nothing to do with the current situation...

 

[Enlightened_One]

Yet it had everything to do with the tsunami, for out of the torrent of water slid a gigantic sea monster. People shrank back in fear. An old man gasped. "We need John."

 

[Llyrai]

"Johns dead apparently," came the authorial voice from somewhere far above. The old man turned and watch the sky, "You killed the main character off, and totally blocked the progress of this story..."
With a stubborn denial that would not waver, the old man defended his belief in John, striking back to the godly figure with his staff, shouting, "No! John is our hero, we need him now!"
"Well, you should have thought of that earlier now, shoudnt you?" The sky rumbled....

 

[Hippy La-Laa]

"Well, you should have thought of that earlier now, shoudnt you?" The sky rumbled....

.....perhaps there was yet another tsunami on its way....? .... Or was it a cyclone - whipping through the lush forest, waves licking at the shore, tumbling John's body like a doll among rattling shells....

 

[pitted]

.....perhaps there was yet another tsunami on its way....? .... Or was it a cyclone - whipping through the lush forest, waves licking at the shore, tumbling John's body like a doll among rattling shells....

…and john, living, breathing, tumbling, turning, churning john was there, far away from any tsunami but in the midst of contemplating on what to do with this cyclone. “Now I just cant stop it” he thought to himself but then the foolish old man’s words reached – how he did not know, nor particularly care – they were there beckoning him and he must follow, cursing, screaming – like a cat on a leash…

 

[Enlightened_One]

…and john, living, breathing, tumbling, turning, churning john was there, far away from any tsunami but in the midst of contemplating on what to do with this cyclone. “Now I just cant stop it” he thought to himself but then the foolish old man’s words reached – how he did not know, nor particularly care – they were there beckoning him and he must follow, cursing, screaming – like a cat on a leash…

John lifted his head and straightened his broad shoulders, adjusting his shirt in the process. John stumbled forward, forcing himself forward against the relentless onslaught of the natural force's fury.
He fell to his knees, despair washing over him.
Slowly, mesmerisingly, the crooning voice of John's ancient, withered grandmother struck forth from his subconcious. "Believe in yourself sonny."
Instantly John knew what he must do. He knew how to defeat this calamity. Rolling up his armsleeves John...

 

[400miles]

John lifted his head and straightened his broad shoulders, adjusting his shirt in the process. John stumbled forward, forcing himself forward against the relentless onslaught of the natural force's fury.
He fell to his knees, despair washing over him.
Slowly, mesmerisingly, the crooning voice of John's ancient, withered grandmother struck forth from his subconcious. "Believe in yourself sonny."
Instantly John knew what he must do. He knew how to defeat this calamity. Rolling up his armsleeves John...

... realised his muscles were actually quite small and he, embarrassed, quickly rolled his sleeves back down. Despair over his scrawny physique interuppted his thoughts once more, and again, once more, he heard his grannie's voice: 'What the hell is that? Where's your muscle? I'm ashamed to be your grandmother. I'm going to go haunt someone else now, you freak.'

John started to cry.
Today had been a bad day. First aliens and a shuddering drop into science fiction, then a frightening encounter with Jane Austen and some english teachers, then tsunami's and cyclones. When will this ever end? He asked.
Then he realised, it'd end in a couple of days when these bored ext2 english students realised they should be studying.

He laughed and said ...

 

[Hippy La-Laa]

"My toast is burning!!"

 

[co+ca]

and then the four friends went to get snowcones, and indeed they were gotten, you can be sure about that.

 

[jhakka]

and then the four friends went to get snowcones, and indeed they were gotten, you can be sure about that.

And now that that chapter is over, I sit here and ponder the meaninglessness of my own life. Oh woe, woe is me! I am a vampire and an artist trapped in a mortal body, forever doomed to embody the tragedy of unrecognised genuis...

 

[hotcocoababe]

And now that that chapter is over, I sit here and ponder the meaninglessness of my own life. Oh woe, woe is me! I am a vampire and an artist trapped in a mortal body, forever doomed to embody the tragedy of unrecognised genuis...

...and then poor john realised that he was having yet ANOTHER wet dream.
"Fuck!" he screamed, leaping off his chair and earning himself a bruised funnybone, which really wasn't all that funny if he thought about it.
"John, we really need to deal with this problem. Haven't you read The Power of One, by Bruce Courtenay? The boy, Peekay, goes to see an African witchdoctor. The Witchdoctor cures him with magic chickens, and then gives him one of his own! He called it Grandpa Chook. What do you reckon we hunt us down one of the witchety doctors, John?" His mother smiled, and then sighed as she mopped up the creamy mess amongst his sheets.

John agreed with his mother's brilliant idea, so he picked up the phone and rang...

 

[Fire_Hydra]

i didn't do short stories - but dang this is funny...

...and then poor john realised that he was having yet ANOTHER wet dream.
"Fuck!" he screamed, leaping off his chair and earning himself a bruised funnybone, which really wasn't all that funny if he thought about it.
"John, we really need to deal with this problem. Haven't you read The Power of One, by Bruce Courtenay? The boy, Peekay, goes to see an African witchdoctor. The Witchdoctor cures him with magic chickens, and then gives him one of his own! He called it Grandpa Chook. What do you reckon we hunt us down one of the witchety doctors, John?" His mother smiled, and then sighed as she mopped up the creamy mess amongst his sheets.

John agreed with his mother's brilliant idea, so he picked up the phone and rang...

Kermit the frog and he said "why the hell did u F**k my bubblegoose....punk??!?!" That's when he realised that (GASP) he had the wrong number. He dialed again but when he put the phone to his ear - he was violently sucked into the ear peice...

 

[Enlightened_One]

Kermit the frog and he said "why the hell did u F**k my bubblegoose....punk??!?!" That's when he realised that (GASP) he had the wrong number. He dialed again but when he put the phone to his ear - he was violently sucked into the ear peice...

Where his head wnet dizzy and lights spun before his eyes. Slowly John refocused and realised he was standing before an old man in a chair. The old bloke scratched hisbear and said. "Hello John."
John replied, in his most macho voice. "Who are you?"
The old fool replied. "I am the parody of the architect. I was created by a bored extension two student."
John asked. "Why am I here?"
The old man replied. "Your life is the eventuality of whim by fuckfoot which led to Llyrai including you in this continuous narrative. Ergo you are here because, concordly, visi ve, and other long words, a bunch of extension two students who should be studying are fascinated by this thread, and will continue to waste time on here until the novelty wheres off, which may be a while.
If you look around you'll see two doors, the door on the right leads to the little girl's room, which sadly has never been used, and the door on the left leads to some incredibly strange, completely pointless adventure thrust upon you by another extension two student."
Realising he had gone recently, John walked to the left door and opened it, pausing he said. "Let's hope we don't meet again." Then he stepped through the door....

 

[400miles]

... and they met again.
'F**k' John said.
'Well look,' the architect parody replied, 'I told you the extension 2 student would be bored.'
'But man,' John said to the architect, 'you're such an annoying character. With that beard and all.'
Then John was killed, and 400miles wondered how (without raising John back to life) the next student would continue this utterly pointless and prolonged story...

 

[glitterfairy]

And then glitterfairy came along.

Being a compulsive rule-breaker, she resurrected John using the Unlimited Power of the Author, even though she was at risk of pissing other people off.

She then picked up John and placed him on a sunny hill in the middle of...

But then she decided that she didn't like that, so she killed John again, and inserted another character - a mysterious Jane Doe, who then proceeded to demand a D-I-Y manicure set because she was bored.

 

[jhakka]

And then glitterfairy came along.

Being a compulsive rule-breaker, she resurrected John using the Unlimited Power of the Author, even though she was at risk of pissing other people off.

She then picked up John and placed him on a sunny hill in the middle of...

But then she decided that she didn't like that, so she killed John again, and inserted another character - a mysterious Jane Doe, who then proceeded to demand a D-I-Y manicure set because she was bored.

But who cares about Jane? John's experiences in the afterlife are so much more fun.

John saw the light, vaugly remembering warning from people who talked about death, and even an amusing scene from A Bug's Life, but he couldn't quite recall the significance of the light. Having nothing better to do, other than float around in the middle of nowhere, John...