Anything besides "Education" to Asian parents are considered unnecessary. (1 Viewer)

[Mazey]

Yeh some parents dun really care and some totally grill their kids :S (thats any race!) And dun be mad friggy I agree, its likely that their first priority is to make sure we live comfortably.

Though i dont doubt that other reasons like pride play a part

 

[jay2000]

ok, maybe i should have some input, since i havent been in australia too long..prolly shorter than anyone else on this board. all your english seems unaccented.. and i'm from HK...an asian country..well...city

the "majority" of parents there....(i'm not saying all)...and even students education is the only thing... seriously, because the competition is so stiff,so they really have no choice but to push...
eg
we have an assessment similar to your School Certificate in form5(like yr10)...if u dun perform at a fairly high standard...u cant even go on to study yr11,12...i dun recall the exact percentages...but i think only around 40% of form5 students are able to go onto form6 and 7...then...for university in HK..it's even harder...trust me..~

i've seen ppl repeat form5 3 or 4 times until they got into form6...cos...well...if u dun get into uni...the chances are u'll be making fishballs...(yum) for the rest of your life..and i think it's even worse in mainland china, like someone b4 said in the thread.

but IMO, yes the parents always wants the child to have the best in life,prestige,money etc etc. but i dun think it's right to assume 'face' isnt something they've considered. face is always in the equation (asian mindset)

 

[vegeta_316]

In my parents case, they strive for me to do well in my studies because they want me and my future to be safe and secure, as do all parents. My dad had a very poor background and had to work exremely hard to get to where he is today. He had to because the only way he could continue his education was through scholarships as his parents did not have the finance to fund his education. Sure enough he worked hard to become a Doctor, but mainly because he wanted his own family's future to be safe and secure. He didn't want his children to go through the same hardships as he did as a child and it is this reason that some asian parents (from poor backgrounds as an example) put such an emphasis on a good education for their children. I don't speak for every asian family as each of their attitudes on education varies with context which is why it wrong to stereotype. (Hasn't Adv English taught us anything? ) This is just my reasoning behind my parents strong emphasis on education.

 

[deyveed]

I thought this thread was supposed to be a light hearted and humourous discussion about the pressures of having stereotypical Asian parents. It has turned much more than that since the first couple of pages of this thread.

 

[Frigid]

Originally posted by jay2000
face is always in the equation (asian mindset)

jay, i assume you're an internatonal student doing law?
now why would your parents pay $18K uni per year+living expenses for you to come here and do law? is it because of 'face'?

i think we over-assume and stereotype 'face' too much when it comes to our parents, and, because of that, we misjudge and misunderstand their intentions.

i'm going to give you a personal example, since i don't know you well: i attend one of the so-called 'elite' boys' schools in Sydney, where i am given a chance to participate in a variety of extra-curricular activities. but since year 7, my parents have strongly advised against participating in them, and i used to get so angry that i couldn't do what my friends did.

why? are my parents education-driven freaks who want their son to get super high marks and that's it!?! do they confine me to my bedroom until 2 in the morning with lock and chain? no, the fundamental reason is that i live far from school (40 kilometres), and that if i spend more time on those extracurricular activities, i won't have to enough rest or sleep. that is why.

so, (if you are indeed an international student,) I strongly urge you to think over the reasons why your parents bring you up, urge you to get an education and good marks, and why they spend so much money to get you to law; thence, perhaps, you'll understand them a little better...

 

[crazylilmonkee]

yeah i agree with frigid.. damn i need to learn how to quote.. my parents work their butts off so i can get a good education cos they don't want us kids to have to work so hard to earn that little bit of money and want us to live comfortably. my parents dropped out in mid highschool and end of primary and never got the chance to go further and so they want us to do well in school and get a decent job cos they never had the chance. in general there is a bit of the 'face' issue, but not all.. sure they like to boast and stuff but whats important is that we become 'useful people'

 

[redslert]

the first time i felt proud of myself was in year 8, for the first time i got ranked top 7 for every subject with a couple of 1st n 2nd... the report card came home i didnt read it but just left it on my father's desk thinkin he will read it and comment on it.... i go to school and teachers congratulate me on my result and say that my parents must be proud, i smile and say they haven't even looked at my report and it's been 2weeks..... that was the day i relised my parents were not the typoical azn parents...that was the day i figured who gives a shit what others think, im doin this for myself! i get the results that makes me feel good! fuck the world attitude...

i like the way my parents do things, doesnt give a dam what i do...i can sit in front of the tv and do jack all day and the only thing my mum will say is that 'shouldn't you be studying' once a day.... im happy, they dont give a dam, i can go out when eva i want and i get da results, although i know it would be better if i turned off the tv

 

[jay2000]

well actually i'm not international fee paying right now
normal HECS for me~

but anyway, hehe they sent me here cos i didnt qualify for form6, so it was either come here (or usa) or repeat form5 agan. if they didnt mind, i could've just repeated, but what would they have told everyone else? there son as too stupid so had to repeat?...no way la..but seriously ah...look, maybe asian parents here are different, but the parents i've spoken to whilst i was still there, many of the parents have actually told me through their own words face is an important matter.

going off track a little...what do you ppl do here at night? there's no nite life at all...well..in comparison there isnt much....so boring...
cant wait to transfer back....

 

[kow_dude]

Originally posted by sarah_#1_eel
Sterotyping people is bad, thats one of the reasons why we have war.

No l do not agree, just because you may know of a couple of Aisan parents who are like that doesn't mean that they all are.

I am discusted that some could post a thing like this. Next they will all be talking about the Aboriginals

yea i think we shouldnt be stereotyping people. It's kinda racists i think. I believe not all asian parents ecnourage their children to become doctors etc... they just want them to have a good future just like any other parent would do.

 

[pigs_can_fly]

nah, my parents dun push me at all
they're perfectly chill...

yeah, wotefa

 

[toisthbe]

Originally posted by Frigid

I disagree. I think our parents want us to have a well, happy and healthy life before any self-gratification for themselves.

it really depends on the family...
for me, my parents were brought up in the society that women do all the work and men relax at home..

well my mom married into that family, she said 'no'.

my grandma has 8 children...(my aunties or uncles ie)
all 7 are married or in some form of relationship and is really close the grannie, but not us..

cos my mom didn't want to be a maid like them, so we moved away... and now when all the kids (me, my cousins, etc) are almost at uni..

they'll contact us, *compare*, jus to ask, to *bitch*...
i fink, ofcourse ur parents want u to hav a future, nah der!
but i fink its half/half...'face' too...

my mom jus tells me, we hav to show them(in canto), so we hav 'face'.
WHICH, btw, i don mind, but i hate it when she has to TRILL it into me.. like I DONT KNO...sigh

 

[babydoll_]

yeah well i guess it depends, but for the main part, its a lot about face for my family

 

[enak]

Originally posted by pigs_can_fly
nah, my parents dun push me at all
they're perfectly chill...

yeah, wotefa

Aren't you like gonna be dux of sydney boys?

 

[toisthbe]

cos som ppl are NATURALLY motivated..

i'm not.

 

[routemarker]

I know a friend of mine felt the pressure to do well from his parents and whole family as soon as he came to australia. He has the mind set 'do whatever it takes to prove them wrong and be the best'. Beacause families may ridicule one another if their children dont do well and the children feel the burden to make sure that such a senario wont happen as it will make them lose face and not satisfy the duties of a good respectful child. This was the case for him and how hes at U Syd working his ass off to maintain a HD av. Some things just stick...

 

[smittenkitten]

Originally posted by Huy
I agree, but it is more along the lines of:

'You have to be a doctor' with a UAI of 99 LOL

This should have a poll

Originally posted by Huy
I'm asian... and I like making fun of my own race. LOL
Come on... it's funny!!!

Okay, maybe it's just me...

Agreed to all.

My bloody parents give me the down right shits. All she (mum obviously) can think about is pharmacy. OMG stfu. She just can't begin to comprehend why anyone would choose a course they actually liked as opposed to probably stability and money post university.

I was at the denists and the dentist, the nurse and my mother were all looking down on me (I was laying down on the chair). They were all suggesting I should choose pharmacy...or dentistry...or some other sterotypically Asian course. I was so angry at them all I wanted to hurl this mirror I was holding at my mum. She was being so stupid. She also doesn't realise that I will not achieve a UAI high enough to get into dentistry. I wish my parents would stop triffling with issues in my life and let me do whatever I like. I know they care about me, but they should damn well learn to show it in a more effective manner. Parents should be forced to undertake parenting courses on effective ways to communicate with their children (or the govt should at least issue thick booklets regarding the matter) because lecturing, yelling and being dominating doesn't work. It seems like I understand them and they just don't even want to understand where I'm coming from.