...bah (3 Viewers)

[Cactus]

Everyone hates their parents at some point in time. Chances are you'll "run away" with your boyfriend, break up with him and realise you're fucked then come crawling back home. Believe it or not, they're doing this because they want what's best for you. Stop acting like a brat.

Maybe start showing some respect for your parents, stop acting the victim and acting in defiance against them (gee, I wonder why they don't trust you). Maybe then you'll win their trust.

Boyfriends come and go, but your parents will always be there for you. Your attitude towards them sickens me.

Is this the first post ur talking about? Show me the constructive bit

 

[sped_kid01]

ok obviously you havent read all of my posts....as ive said previously, i KNOW i breached their trust and did the wrong thing. i didnt sneak out and come home late, my bf snuck in my window. yet the fact him and i were still fully clothed is proof we werent doing anything except talking. and the "they dont have to show her any repsect"? where did u pull that from? it is, in fact, a childs RIGHT to be repsected by their parents.

oh and im not whinging, i asked for peoples advice or ideas on how to fix this. stating the situation is not whinging, it is, quite obviously, STATING the SITUATION.

by the way, hormones have nothing to do with this. its the fact i love and miss my bf and wat to spend time with him. i dont go out with guys just to fuck them like some people.

one last thing, either learn correct grammar or fix the 'full stop' key on your keyboard.

ummm....clearly u are a whinging ...

if u know u have breached their trust, then deal with it? ur parents SHOULD show u respect, but u should have respected them in the 1st place. lol..im glad ur hormones hav nothing to do with it...and it sux that u miss him and all the rest.

btw, u shouldnt pick on other people for their grammar, its a forum...ppl type and make mistakes...as long as its legible (is that how u spell it?)...

in light of ur post: to fix it? it might take time...but u could try and help ur parents out? suck up? ask for little things? showing them that they can trust u? and when they give u this respect...dont abuse it...by sneaking out etc...start out small and build ur way up

 

[django_]

SPED_KID 01 -

if u. had read her posts. its annoying. all these full stops. n shit like that. as u can see im giving you. an example.
lol

my problem is they say one thing, and when the time comes around they change it: "youre not seeing him till after the HSC"....now after the HSC...and theres a new excuse "u dont help nough around the house, help out mroe and i have no problem you going out"
today, i worked my arse off, and i said ill keep on helping out cuz its not fair my mum does everything. before i asked my mum to see him wednesday, n then it was an "oh u might have to work wednesday depends if ur autny needs u or not, work is important."

its always one thing after another and pisses me off. but yeh ok no more whinging....*rolls eyes*

 

[django_]

oh and just a word to everyone:

I am ALLOWED to WHINGE!! this is my thread where ive asked for everyones advice. its a problem i am trying to deal with and if i want to whinge and vent and rant then so be it. if you dont like it, dont bother replying and just ignore it.

thats an obvious solution....

cheers

 

[wrong_turn]

SPED_KID 01 -

if u. had read her posts. its annoying. all these full stops. n shit like that. as u can see im giving you. an example.
lol

my problem is they say one thing, and when the time comes around they change it: "youre not seeing him till after the HSC"....now after the HSC...and theres a new excuse "u dont help nough around the house, help out mroe and i have no problem you going out"
today, i worked my arse off, and i said ill keep on helping out cuz its not fair my mum does everything. before i asked my mum to see him wednesday, n then it was an "oh u might have to work wednesday depends if ur autny needs u or not, work is important."

its always one thing after another and pisses me off. but yeh ok no more whinging....*rolls eyes*

yep i understand your plight. but you have to give it time. okay, maybe not. do you have chinese parents. you don't know what restrictions are unless you have chinese parents with a tradional attitude. they drive you insane.

its like don't burn the grass. and then you try to explain to them that it was already burning.
then it's, go study. but then you explain that you've been doing that since last week non-stop.

it's not the shit unless like what i say happens. i realise that the first time was stupid. better one thing stupid than nothing stupid at all.

 

[django_]

lol thats funny cuz my bf is chinese n his folks r so cool let him do wat he wanted n hes so perfect n everything..whereas i was never allowed n im the fucked up one in the r/ship lol

 

[sped_kid01]

yeah ok fair enuf, u have the right to whinge...
i understand what u mean, and it does sound unfair..i supopose theres not much u can do? i guess rebelling would make it worse?
why dont u compromise? eg. "Mum if i work for u for 1/2 the day, can i see my b/f for the rest?" Would that help?

 

[wrong_turn]

like that is an exception. i find myself using this word more often now. i'm gonna hunt down the nitwit who invented the word 'exception' *starts weilding an axe too big for himself*

 

[sped_kid01]

wont u be moving out of home soon also? seems skool is over? maybe that will help? give u more freedom?

 

[django_]

yes rebelling makes it worse thats definitely outta the question.

im taking the mature, openminded wise approach now. speak clearly and honestly, explain wat it is i want...if it doesnt go how i want, then say that their losing me because they keep changing the rules and its unfair.

if it keeps happeing im moving out.

 

[wrong_turn]

why don't you just move out anyway. just apply for youth allowance, move out, get a job, and live your life. well it depends whereabouts you live though.

 

[ur_inner_child]

Okay okay okay guys.....


This thread really spoke out to me cuz of similar situations, but I had already MOVED OUT so this might be interesting.

Currently I'm back at home... but the moving out thing - traumatic. My parents had a huge shock (and before you go crazy at me, I had the support of teachers, principal, outside of school counsellor etc) and called me up non stop with every possible threat to my life. They disowned me as a daughter, the last thing they did - to scare the hell out of me and make me feel guilty i assume.

This was done because I wanted to follow my love for music - I wanted to go to the conservatorium of music. They didn't. They wanted to do Law or something prestigious like that. I didn't break their trust, I merely wanted to do something I loved. They also did not like the fact that I knew boys, thought I was having sex with everyone despite the fact that they don't let me out much, AND I MEAN LIKE ONE MORNING FOR A MONTH - , and stuff like that. They jumped to these conclusions cuz in Year 8 I told them I had a crush on a boy

Anyways back to the moving out. I'm going to move out again (with my boyfriend possibly, depending, not sure... there are services for this sorta thing) but this time, without the HSC in place, I'd be organised.

-Medicare Card
-Healthcare Card
-Centrelink Arrangements and Changes
-Youth Allowance & Rent Assistance
-UNI SCHOLARSHIPS!
-Other departments that the changes of address that needs to be addressed
-A garantee that you will stay somewhere stable for AT LEAST a year
-A JOB!!!!!!!
-etc

My parents forgave me and took me home etc. The thing is, nothing's changed. They know about my 13 month boyfriend but deny him any respect. They STILL ignore all my friends when they say hi, etc. They DONT want me to get a job in case I go out and have sex or something, they treat me like I'm the "bad" kid that wasn't grown up right, and said to my brother once

"Stef knows she can't make it to 90+, so she's doing music. I hope YOU make us proud"

Which cut my whole heart in half overhearing it... BUT they have come to terms with my control over my career and passion for music. The only time I broke their trust was when I moved out. Funny. I had made some things worse and some things better.

I actually have no answer for you. I'm scared, utterly scared, I mean, the second time could mean they don't care and disown me for real.
I'm probably going to move out, but its sickening though, not being able to live properly at home and be yourself.


You have to be brave, and make sure you know what you're doing. Don't let anyone force you, and think ahead. Think ahead as in not only the next MONTHS but the next two years as well.

A friend once said to me... .... that it's better to live life now and have a better chance to patch things up with family, than to keep them happy, and have to re-live your life again.

 

[Emily.]

yes rebelling makes it worse thats definitely outta the question.

im taking the mature, openminded wise approach now. speak clearly and honestly, explain wat it is i want...if it doesnt go how i want, then say that their losing me because they keep changing the rules and its unfair.

if it keeps happeing im moving out.

just move out already

 

[django_]

no no im being mature here!!

lol since thats wat everyone is saying, and its true. they get one last chance. if i cant see him wednesday, im going to say that im moving out because i cant handle all this n yeh.

 

[Cactus]

ur_inner_child thanks for being so open. Its good to see the other POV, because as I said I know someone who almost didn't make it out and tried to kill themself. And good on you for pursuing music......musicians have changed the world more than any academic or lawyer could dream of

 

[sped_kid01]

i wouldnt do it quite like that...but yeah...u have to try and 'talk' to them...i know it seems like it wont work n stuff, ive never been in the situation before...so iguess icant comment properly..but dont say "im moving out cos u wont let me see my boyfriend"...make it seem like more than that...and tell them u've thought about it heaps...and u think this wud be the best option 4 u and them..argh, too much to write in one small post....


ur_inner_child...
thats really sad....hope u go far with ur music career...ps. what type of music do u make? what style? whats ur band name/name...i'll look out 4 u one day, be sure to buy ur album after hearing that

 

[Emily.]

u said that they said u could see him after the hsc.....the hsc is basically over....theres not many exams left, is it really that hard to wait that long.
honestly i dont think its that much of an unreasonable request
if you had made plans with him during the hsc, you may not have been able to concentrate on exams, being all excited to see him and stuff

seriously, your parents would have your best interests at heart. regardless of what it seems, they DONT want to make your life misterable
maybe they dont know how to be good, understanding parents. you know, there is no instant strike of realisation which implants all parenting knowledge in their brains. its something they learn for themselves, just like you are learning. they may make mistakes! it may reflect theur upbringing too. just go a little easy on them hey, im sure they just want you to be the best you can be.

 

[AsyLum]

Oh come on have some sympathy. You people have obviously never been in this situation yourselves so please don't pass judgement. It's an extremely complex and hurtful situation which is caused by family problems and not the child's actions. Parents are supposed to guide a child into adulthood. Yes trust is an issue, but parenting should not be about punishment it should be about rewarding good behaviour. I watched dr phil today. seriously though, how is housework related to trust. It's not. The "do more housework" is a ploy by the parent to make themselves feel like they are doing parenting.........

You assume way too much on your behalf.

Housework related to trust? No, the interaction and responsibility which comes with housework is the key factor.

Please again explain to me the sympathy part. I see a child who is being kept at home due to her erratic behaviour. No offence but the dude's 21, shes 17-18. If i was a parent and i knew that my daughter was sneaking out and trying to see this guy i think id be just a little worried they were being taken advantage of.

 

[wrong_turn]

u said that they said u could see him after the hsc.....the hsc is basically over....theres not many exams left, is it really that hard to wait that long.
honestly i dont think its that much of an unreasonable request
if you had made plans with him during the hsc, you may not have been able to concentrate on exams, being all excited to see him and stuff

seriously, your parents would have your best interests at heart. regardless of what it seems, they DONT want to make your life misterable
maybe they dont know how to be good, understanding parents. you know, there is no instant strike of realisation which implants all parenting knowledge in their brains. its something they learn for themselves, just like you are learning. they may make mistakes! it may reflect theur upbringing too. just go a little easy on them hey, im sure they just want you to be the best you can be.

i'm sorry but that post sounded kind of like a cliche. i just ahd to point that out

 

[AsyLum]

ur_inner_child thanks for being so open. Its good to see the other POV, because as I said I know someone who almost didn't make it out and tried to kill themself. And good on you for pursuing music......musicians have changed the world more than any academic or lawyer could dream of

Thats a bit of a claim to make, to say that Martin Luther, Galileo, Aristotle, or Einstein hasnt at least contributed to the formation of our world and what we take for granted as modern thinking.