...bah (1 Viewer)
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Cactus
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Lundy said:
You people have no idea what a situation like this is. Yes maybe she is being selfish, but the fact is selfishness = survival in a situation like this. Get off your high horses because you dont know what you are talking about. I know of situations like this which lead to suicide, and your stupid put-down comments are not helping. It makes me sick the lack of compassion. Even if she is selfish, her suffering and pain is still real and its a situation that needs to be addressed.....
PookieMonster
Got bored & left 30/01/05
all shes really done here. is whinge about how she cant spend time with her boyfriend. shes young. and naive. her parents are obviously trying to help her get some order. she doesnt realise that she has in fact betrayed their trust and the problem i have here. is that she doesnt care. or seem to comprehend the point that the parents are setting boundaries to maintain their responsibility at keeping her safe. she sneaks out and comes home late. i believe huge miscommunication and disrespect towards her parents is shown. they dont have to show her any respect. the only reason boundaries have been set is because they care. she is selfish and doesnt see that its NOT ALL ABOUT HER and her fucking boyfriend. so what if shes happy. shes young. and naive. and has plenty of time to be happy. her parents are older, and want to see her make it thru this teenage angst which she obviously cant see beyond her hormones.
Cactus
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look please don't see this as me attacking you. I agree with some of what you say, but I think you're coming at it from the wrong direction.
As I said I think you should come at this from a different angle. In this situation selfishness = survival. I have seen a situation like this lead to suicide. In my opinion suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do, because it leaves so many unanswered questions, but lets not get into that here. Even if it is this girl's fault, it still needs to be fixed, and saying "your selfish grow up" isnt going to fix it. Lets get something constructive happening here
She doesn't comprehend the parents actions because her parents are often irrational with their boundaries and these boundaries are constantly changing with parents moods. Often the punishment doesn't fit the crime and constantly being grounded means that a grounding looses its meaning. There is no reward in this house for good behaviour. That is probably the main problem here.PookieMonster said:
The problem here is, that her parents are always saying 'you can see him after the hsc' but when the time comes around not allowing it. This is the irrationality and changing boundaries I was talking about.PookieMonster said:
As I said I think you should come at this from a different angle. In this situation selfishness = survival. I have seen a situation like this lead to suicide. In my opinion suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do, because it leaves so many unanswered questions, but lets not get into that here. Even if it is this girl's fault, it still needs to be fixed, and saying "your selfish grow up" isnt going to fix it. Lets get something constructive happening here
I had a similar prob - except i was the evil girl and his parents hate me.
1 year, 1 month and 2 days on since they discovered "my past", they've decided to accept me.
Stuck by your guy and try your best to get through it together.
When your exams are over, sit your parents down and talk to them, be calm and put you argument forward - don't get upset, you won't get anywhere.
And, you are 18 soon and if you move out you'll be able to make your own decision. But if you stay at home, it's a bit hard.
Good luck
1 year, 1 month and 2 days on since they discovered "my past", they've decided to accept me.
Stuck by your guy and try your best to get through it together.
When your exams are over, sit your parents down and talk to them, be calm and put you argument forward - don't get upset, you won't get anywhere.
And, you are 18 soon and if you move out you'll be able to make your own decision. But if you stay at home, it's a bit hard.
Good luck
ok obviously you havent read all of my posts....as ive said previously, i KNOW i breached their trust and did the wrong thing. i didnt sneak out and come home late, my bf snuck in my window. yet the fact him and i were still fully clothed is proof we werent doing anything except talking. and the "they dont have to show her any repsect"? where did u pull that from? it is, in fact, a childs RIGHT to be repsected by their parents.PookieMonster said:
oh and im not whinging, i asked for peoples advice or ideas on how to fix this. stating the situation is not whinging, it is, quite obviously, STATING the SITUATION.
by the way, hormones have nothing to do with this. its the fact i love and miss my bf and wat to spend time with him. i dont go out with guys just to fuck them like some people.
one last thing, either learn correct grammar or fix the 'full stop' key on your keyboard.
Lundy
Banned
why are we obliged to be supportive of her?
PookieMonster
Got bored & left 30/01/05
deal but dont use the words "me" or "i" or "myself" over and over in ur sentences.django_ said:
Cactus
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Lundy said:
Why do you bother to post if you're only going to be negative. I don't understand why people are so disrespectful of other's emotions. Its a real person on the other side of this thread you know, its not just some internet world that has no significance to real life.
I think that the 'if you havent got anything nice to say dont say anything' rule applies here, although constructive criticism is probably ok too.......
remember karma, one day you will have a problem and you might like it if people helped rather than abused you
POOKIE -
ok but i can only try...the use of "me", "i", or "myself" arent due to selfishness...its because this thread is about a problem one is dealing with.
yay i didnt use any 'me' words...except then. oh and the first sentence, yet it couldnt be helped. lol
ok but i can only try...the use of "me", "i", or "myself" arent due to selfishness...its because this thread is about a problem one is dealing with.
yay i didnt use any 'me' words...except then. oh and the first sentence, yet it couldnt be helped. lol
PookieMonster
Got bored & left 30/01/05
oh fuck off i cant stand u. open ur eyes. pfft
Lundy
Banned
Criticism is something you have to learn to deal with, because you're inevitably going to encounter it at some stage in life. We haven't heard her parent's side of the story, all we have to go on his her word. I'm not going to pat her back and say "poor you." Going by what she did say, I posted my honest opinion on the matter. If she doesn't like it, she's free to block me, as are you.
edit: to cactus
edit: to cactus
really i can block people? oh well cant really be bothered
pookie if u cant stand me so much why bother replying to my thread, as cactus said. obviously thats the best way to avoid me...haha dumb arse! but yeh
pookie if u cant stand me so much why bother replying to my thread, as cactus said. obviously thats the best way to avoid me...haha dumb arse! but yeh
Cactus
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Lundy said:
Who made you in charge of dealing out criticism in the name of toughening people's skins? Just because someone may be wrong in a certain situation (i'm not saying anyone is at fault here though) doesnt mean they don't deserve support. No one is saying you have to pat her on the back, in fact no one really wants you here at all. It's a situation you have obviously never had to deal with so you don't understand.......