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Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Sparcod
- Start date
My chem teacher gave this heart warming advice to a student the other day:
Well some kid in our chem class got 12/100 in the catholic trial paper and she told him: "It's good that you answered every question because if you do that in the HSC you will get a minimum Band 2 therefore 50+, so remember to fill up all the lines".
Well some kid in our chem class got 12/100 in the catholic trial paper and she told him: "It's good that you answered every question because if you do that in the HSC you will get a minimum Band 2 therefore 50+, so remember to fill up all the lines".
bboundy
New Member
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2006
- Messages
- 29
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2007
2U math teacher: So you take the 3x and...
Us interupting: Uh... shouldn't that be a?
Teacher: Well. I teach math, not english.
And we had one science teacher who, no matter that it was in the same place every lesson, always tripped over the whiteboard.
D&T teacher: "No Mark, you're doing it wrong." *Calls everybody over* (26 minutes later, we timed it) "And that, boys, is why you should always keep your left foot at 45 degrees to the angle of the blade"
Same science teacher: "OK boys, in today's lesson i'm going to teach you how you get sex"
Us interupting: Uh... shouldn't that be a?
Teacher: Well. I teach math, not english.
And we had one science teacher who, no matter that it was in the same place every lesson, always tripped over the whiteboard.
D&T teacher: "No Mark, you're doing it wrong." *Calls everybody over* (26 minutes later, we timed it) "And that, boys, is why you should always keep your left foot at 45 degrees to the angle of the blade"
Same science teacher: "OK boys, in today's lesson i'm going to teach you how you get sex"
English teacher: From now till the HSC, I want you guys to use me as much as you can and in anyway you want.
All my math teacher's quotes:
We're family. I don't want to be just "that guy" who taught you maths in highschool. I don't want to be that teacher, I want to be your friend ... I'm here for you guys.
One of my ex-students hasn't contacted me since she finished school even though she said she would. It's fine though, I know where she lives.
In my old school, there was this girl, she was so gorgeous but as dumb as (something, I've forgotten). One day, she showed her friends behind her her bra, I happened to turn around at that moment, I said a comment and we laughed it off. The next day, her mum comes in and tells the head teacher. I mean, honestly, it was just a joke.
All my math teacher's quotes:
We're family. I don't want to be just "that guy" who taught you maths in highschool. I don't want to be that teacher, I want to be your friend ... I'm here for you guys.
One of my ex-students hasn't contacted me since she finished school even though she said she would. It's fine though, I know where she lives.
In my old school, there was this girl, she was so gorgeous but as dumb as (something, I've forgotten). One day, she showed her friends behind her her bra, I happened to turn around at that moment, I said a comment and we laughed it off. The next day, her mum comes in and tells the head teacher. I mean, honestly, it was just a joke.
DownInFlames
Token Member
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2007
- Messages
- 548
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2007
My math teacher today (yes he teaches 4U) doing all this complicated stuff and then:
"so one plus two equals... equals..." *looks at sheet from which he's reading the solution....
"two plus one equals three, sir."
oh dear.
"so one plus two equals... equals..." *looks at sheet from which he's reading the solution....
"two plus one equals three, sir."
oh dear.
carbone
D E F I N E M E
Female Student: You're lame Mr X (Mr X is some teacher)
Legal Studies Teacher: That's not what you said last night *winks*
---------------
*Talking about how lead is bad for paint in chem*
Teacher: My children use to eat their cots..
---------------
*A student walks around the labs without her shoes*
Teacher: Where are your shoes? you're becoming a lost cause..
---------------
*In Business studies, the teacher was talking about her holiday*
Teacher: I nearly died on that donkey!
----------------
Student: So they havn't done anything?
History Teacher: I'm sure they DID many things.. but i don't want to know about it (Meaning her daughter and some guy she dated for a few years)
Legal Studies Teacher: That's not what you said last night *winks*
---------------
*Talking about how lead is bad for paint in chem*
Teacher: My children use to eat their cots..
---------------
*A student walks around the labs without her shoes*
Teacher: Where are your shoes? you're becoming a lost cause..
---------------
*In Business studies, the teacher was talking about her holiday*
Teacher: I nearly died on that donkey!
----------------
Student: So they havn't done anything?
History Teacher: I'm sure they DID many things.. but i don't want to know about it (Meaning her daughter and some guy she dated for a few years)
!!!akittelty!!!
El CaPitan
60 Yr old Maths teacher after watching "we can be heroes"
"i saw an excellent documentary on Australian of the year last night"
"i saw an excellent documentary on Australian of the year last night"
Ahh him and his purple jumpers!!!!akittelty!!! said:
Same school, economics teacher: Talking about plasma screen TVs.
'Everything's about distribution of income and wealth, the rich buy their imported plasma screen TVs worsening out current account, interest rates rise to encourage foreign investment, and the poor get new housing (cardboard box)'
Love it.
Another of his classics was:
'The only way to eliminate third world debt is to bomb Africa'
Chem:
Teacher: "And the electron comes over here and goes. oooooh thats a bit alright!"
---------------------------
Me: Can we make rainbow fizz sir?
Teacher: No
Me: Can we make rainbow fizz sir?
Teacher: No
Me: Can we make rainbow fizz sir?
Teacher: Oh alright but ony because Tim isnt here. *proceeds to get crap to make rainbow fix*
Teacher: "And the electron comes over here and goes. oooooh thats a bit alright!"
---------------------------
Me: Can we make rainbow fizz sir?
Teacher: No
Me: Can we make rainbow fizz sir?
Teacher: No
Me: Can we make rainbow fizz sir?
Teacher: Oh alright but ony because Tim isnt here. *proceeds to get crap to make rainbow fix*
omg i had this totally screwed maths teacher who would always flirt with his "fave" students and totally went off topic like our whole advanced maths class failed in yr 9 - 10 wen we had him..
nehoo me and my friend were down at the ag sheds and we came 2 class late coz one of the bulls got out and we had to put it back in the shed.. we walk in to class and he's all "girls why are you late"
we reply "there was a bull chargin us"
him "how much was it charging??" the entire class cracked up and we just stood up the front with no clue as to why it was funny..lol
another time the same teacher decided that he would place a chair next to his desk and when you had a q u could sit and ask him.. he called this chair the "Chair Of Knowledge".. next lesson he writes on the board that the COK is now available for use and we just cracked up he seriously had no clue wat was funny 4 like 2 minutes..
my science teacher had this habbit of scratching his "genitals" in front of the class while teaching..what made it even funnier was the fact that he wrote in chalk..and wore black pants!!!!! every lesson there was marks!!
nehoo me and my friend were down at the ag sheds and we came 2 class late coz one of the bulls got out and we had to put it back in the shed.. we walk in to class and he's all "girls why are you late"
we reply "there was a bull chargin us"
him "how much was it charging??" the entire class cracked up and we just stood up the front with no clue as to why it was funny..lol
another time the same teacher decided that he would place a chair next to his desk and when you had a q u could sit and ask him.. he called this chair the "Chair Of Knowledge".. next lesson he writes on the board that the COK is now available for use and we just cracked up he seriously had no clue wat was funny 4 like 2 minutes..
my science teacher had this habbit of scratching his "genitals" in front of the class while teaching..what made it even funnier was the fact that he wrote in chalk..and wore black pants!!!!! every lesson there was marks!!
yvettemaree47
Member
A geography teacher at my school was pointing to a map of Australia and stated:
"Well it is obvious through looking at this map that Queensland is the largest state."
"Well it is obvious through looking at this map that Queensland is the largest state."
Last edited:
49350
New Member
Legal teacher: When i die im going to donate all my money to the guide dog's organisation
yr 8 english teacher...
"when english teachers are having an argument we have an english debate, when science teachers have an argument they have a science debate, when maths teachers have an argument they have a maths debate"
yr 12 primary industries teacher.
cody: sir what does wife stand for?"
sir: "washing, ironing, insert appropriate f word....."
"when english teachers are having an argument we have an english debate, when science teachers have an argument they have a science debate, when maths teachers have an argument they have a maths debate"
yr 12 primary industries teacher.
cody: sir what does wife stand for?"
sir: "washing, ironing, insert appropriate f word....."
rubificticious
Member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2007
- Messages
- 343
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2007
LOL.m.hyde said:
Love them both, but you stole mine!
This chick comes into class late.
Mrs. Year 10 Photography: "Where have you been?"
Amber: "Maths debating."
Hello2U2
:)
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2007
- Messages
- 303
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2008
my ancient teacher walked past our class after recess, looked at us and kept walking...he turns back and walks past us again, asking us if we had him this period..we all say no...he walks away and then walks back again and says...i do have you...
he also does funny things like
he would whistle when he walks into the room...and some guy joined in once and he told the guy to shut up.
he once told our class that we were so stupid. he said he had taught adhd students who were smarter than us.
he said that if we put in historians such as plutarch into our essay, we would get 2 extra marks in the exam
same goes for indenting the first line of each paragraph
same goes for underlining the sources
same goes for using for words such as therefore...
so basically, you could get around 10 or so by just doing that. no need to answer the essay question at all.
oh, and he said if we forget to do our homework again, we would have to stand in front of the class and sing 'i'm a little teapot'
with actions.
he also does funny things like
he would whistle when he walks into the room...and some guy joined in once and he told the guy to shut up.
he once told our class that we were so stupid. he said he had taught adhd students who were smarter than us.
he said that if we put in historians such as plutarch into our essay, we would get 2 extra marks in the exam
same goes for indenting the first line of each paragraph
same goes for underlining the sources
same goes for using for words such as therefore...
so basically, you could get around 10 or so by just doing that. no need to answer the essay question at all.
oh, and he said if we forget to do our homework again, we would have to stand in front of the class and sing 'i'm a little teapot'
with actions.
w00dy.
Member
that reminds me of our year 10 pe class, i think someone asked if you could still have sex with a chick if she was pregnant and the teacher responded with something likenearlythere... said:
'well i was having sex with my wife when she was pregnant, up til 3 weeks before she gave birth'