Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (1 Viewer)

[CharleyAlekz]

we've been tallying one of our english teachers at school every time he says "It's not hard"...

I think he's said it bout 63 times since the start of this year... lol..

 

[advanced sam]

Our English teacher is a bit clueless. He's Canadian, and he tried to talk to us about politics: "Senators are appointed for life..."

He also seems to think Christmas Island has no food, power or roads, and that we're the only country in the world that detains asylum seekers at all, and that in the US or Canada they'd be welcomed with open arms - neglecting that there are some who aren't genuine, and would be rejected anywhere.

He then goes on to talk about how we need to be aware of the world around us.

ah so very clueless.

did you guys have to do clueless as a transformation piece(modA) wouldnt that be funny...

 

[Rawr-cat]

My fave teacher to a noted pot head:

"I thought you'd turned over a new leaf, *insert name*, but it turns out you've just chopped it up and smoked it."

Thats classic...

My deputy principal once stood up to every1 in the assembley and he said...
"Guess what i did last night"
He wondered why we were laughing

 

[Jinpoo]

heaps of teachers swear at my school, in front of the seniors that is.
They talk to us like normal people, its pretty cool.

And you can swear at them and they dont care lol.

Chem teacher: Ok class next week there's a class test on biopolymers!

Me: fuck that miss can't we just make sherbet again

Chem teacher: Screw you we're doign the test.

 

[.x.Cookie.x.]

heaps of teachers swear at my school, in front of the seniors that is.
They talk to us like normal people, its pretty cool.

And you can swear at them and they dont care lol.

After the series 'Summer Heights High' our science teacher started saying quotes from Jonah, with all the swearing and all. It was so funny.

 

[SoMeRaNdOm.]

Thats classic...

My deputy principal once stood up to every1 in the assembley and he said...
"Guess what i did last night"
He wondered why we were laughing

one of my deputy principals always said last year "sydney time people, its not that hard!" so last years year 12 gave him a pay out award saying that sydney time is never on time. well lets just say he has never said it again.

 

[risole91]

Student to another student out loud: This is shit, i hate school its shitting me
Teacher: You know whats shitting me, the amount of times you've said shit.

LMAO

 

[gouge.away]

my legal teacher always says "does that make sense?"

religion teacher (after talking about 'feeling the presence of God within oneself'): if you all keep talking i'll be feeling your presence at lunch.

everyone: resounding "ew/is that legal?"

 

[carrots please!]

yr 11 gen maths teacher: "now, do we know what a prism is?" rofl

he also had about a million of those "what do you call..." jokes, eg-
"what do you call a man under a pile of leaves?" "russel"
"... ...a woman lost at sea?" "dot"

my french teacher seems to think we're all about to kill ourselves, so whenever talk of assessments/exams/hsc in general comes up, she says "now don't go looking for a tall building, but..."

english teacher: "its ok, we can have some fun on friday. ::chants:: <CHANTS><CHANTS>T-G-I-F!"

bio teacher re: using correct terminology in responses; which was then taken out of context- "copy when you can"

 

[terminator69]

.

 

[pezdog]

I could go on forever with one teacher at our school....holds the prestigious title of 'Rugby League Coordinator'. Finished school, went to uni for his teaching 'degree' and came back to the school to teach. Some of his best are:

Talking to league players - 'It wasnt fair for us - they ingoal area was 16 metres, i mean, ours is half that, its 15 metres'

Suspending A Kid - 'Now, i know i said i would suspend anyone who drives to school, but i cant actually. So i just want to tell everyone they will get suspended - even though they wont

Kid rocked up the next day and told everyone lol

He also missed marking my name in homeroom one day where we had 6 people in the class. My mum had to write a note saying i was there that day ffs

 

[Empress of All]

Oh my physics teacher takes the cake here, so much so that at the end of year 12 we presented him with a mini book with all the one liners he'd come up with in the past two years. Here's just a few:

If you can't use pie use 22/7
Lot's of people used to do it (he meant watch the rocket launches, but it took a few minutes to clear that up)
Just because we haven't seen Superman and him in the same room at the same time......
If you've got talent you should make people pay for it....like him

 

[catherinet]

My mum (maths teacher)

"A number never gains anything from rooting itself"

 

[turmionkat]

probably the best quote from a teacher (hes quite a fat teacher with a walking stick)

"Commerce is like a cake. you have your many layers and ingredients(salivating).....Ummm, excuse me while i go to the canteen"

pretty much pissed myself

 

[midifile]

Just about everything my chemistry teacher says is hilarious:

Teacher: "Carbon can lose or gain electrons - it likes to swing both ways"
Idiot student: "like a homosexual?"
Teacher: "No. Like a bisexual"

Teacher role playing the bonding of molecules: "Hey wanna bond" "No. Fuck off"

Student: "Why do you have limewire on your computer"
Teacher: "To download pornography of course.... I was just joking. I would never download porn. I would buy it like a good boy"

 

[gcchick]

My Maths teacher (she's the greatest!) was encouraging all of us in 2 Unit Maths to buy a Mathaid so we can sketch graphs. She was really convincing us to get it, realised how she sounded and said, "And you also get a free set of steak knives!"

=] Ah, Year 11 Maths...

EDIT: I've thought of more!

My Maths teacher (same as above) was still getting used to the Smartboard in our classroom. She was using both the whiteboard and Smartboard and accidentally wrote on the Smartboard with a whiteboard marker. We all noticed and cracked up laughing. She quickly erased the mark on the board and chucked the whiteboard marker out the door so she wouldn't do it again.

WAYYY back in Year 7, we had a new teacher for Science. It was his first year at our school, and being the little shits we were, we picked on him about everything (he's actually a really awesome teacher and the nicest person). His only whiteboard marker ran out, so he went through the bin in our classroom, picked out another whiteboard marker and used it the rest of the lesson.

My Chemistry teacher was talking about the different structures of carbon molecules. Being a Thursday, we were all tired after sport and were practically asleep in the classroom. He started talking about the "condom" shaped carbon molecule and, surprise surprise, we all paid attention. He said that that's what condoms were named after, afterwards we all went back to sleep.

 

[risole91]

Just about everything my chemistry teacher says is hilarious:

Teacher: "Carbon can lose or gain electrons - it likes to swing both ways"
Idiot student: "like a homosexual?"
Teacher: "No. Like a bisexual"

Teacher role playing the bonding of molecules: "Hey wanna bond" "No. Fuck off"

Student: "Why do you have limewire on your computer"
Teacher: "To download pornography of course.... I was just joking. I would never download porn. I would buy it like a good boy"

LOL they're pretty much the funniest.

 

[Aerath]

Another lame Chemistry teacher joke:

Student A: I walked in on my parents having sex.
Student B: Really? I could never be able to imagine my parents......(trails off as teacher is approaching)
Student B: Annnnnnnnnywayyyyy, the limitations for covalent molecular models.....yeah.....
Teacher: Someone's parents were bonding covalently?

 

[risole91]

Another lame Chemistry teacher joke:

Student A: I walked in on my parents having sex.
Student B: Really? I could never be able to imagine my parents......(trails off as teacher is approaching)
Student B: Annnnnnnnnywayyyyy, the limitations for covalent molecular models.....yeah.....
Teacher: Someone's parents were bonding covalently?

LOL NICE.
im trying to think of some winners from my school

 

[huhwotsthis]

In like year nine, my science teacher said: "Ecuador is a long way from South America" I lol'd so hard.